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CLASSIC DIGITISER: DECEMBER 18th 1997

20/12/2018

32 Comments

 
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At the very start of 2018, Digitiser celebrated its 25th birthday - and what a birthday year it turned out to be, certainly the biggest landmark year of Digitiser2000's existence, and one of the most significant in all of Digi's storied history.

Had you told me when we launched that Digitiser would still be running in some form 25 years later, and would have evolved into its own sort-of-TV-show thing, and that both Mr Hairs and I would be in it, I'd have spluttered my turps into your face.

But to bring 2018 to a close, we grip another classic edition between our thighs - this time from December 18th 1997. Back then, I would have pretty much the entirety of Digitiser's December editions written by the end of November, and - frankly - to my eyes this certainly reads like it. I wouldn't say it's the greatest example of what Digitiser was, but it's nonetheless another gap filled in the Digi canon.

Thanks to teletext archeologist Jason Robertson for digging this out from a tape loaned by John Veness. 
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32 Comments
Col. Asdasd
20/12/2018 09:15:34 am

Jersey Devil... now there's a name that sank without trace.

I miss those giant PC game boxes. Jewel cases! Printed manuals! Cloth maps! Who are all these people? Where am I? Nurse!

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RichardM
20/12/2018 11:24:04 am

Agreed. I still have a load of the boxes on top of my childhood wardrobe which my mum moans about every time I visit. When will I throw them away? Answer: never.

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mrak
20/12/2018 09:31:27 am

Admission: I never read the tips pages back in the day, because we were dirt poor and the likelyhood of me having any of the games featured was virtually zero.

But this is this: excellent. I like a bit of in-your-end-oh in the morning.

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mrak
20/12/2018 10:34:22 am

Coincidentally though I did pick up a copy of Fighters Megamix earlier this year but have been too tied up with other things to have bothered playing it yet. I'll catch up some day.

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James Mitchell
20/12/2018 10:03:33 am

So did Crash 2 really get 7% or is there a missing digit?!

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CAPTAIN CBM AMIABLE
20/12/2018 10:10:02 am

WE ALL KNOW THAT #25 IN THE "Games Chart" WAS "Slippery Popsicle Simulator 3" FOR THE "Amiga 1200"!!!!!!

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Mark M
20/12/2018 10:19:58 am

Thanks so much for posting these - it really made my morning :)

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John Veness
20/12/2018 10:20:43 am

John Veness, who's he?!

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RichardM
20/12/2018 11:22:18 am

There’s a Christmas mess-up in there for the pedants (me) which I’m not going to give away. Consider seeking it a fun Christmas game.

I forgot Digi published email addresses. You probably wouldn’t be allowed to do that nowadays with data protection and all, would you? And imagine the spam!

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Dan Farrimond link
20/12/2018 11:40:04 am

All the email addresses were really long, like 1938575_home.base@compuserve.net. :-P

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RichardM
20/12/2018 11:46:31 am

You bring me back to the time Mr Biffo made fun of my email address which was of the form x123456789@....

Dominic
21/12/2018 09:48:28 am

I wonder if any of those email addresses are still active... I’ve been trying to sideline my yahoo address for years but I still keep getting emails to it - seems such a hassle telling eBay your new address when you could be playing video games.

Dr. Budd Buttocks, MD
20/12/2018 03:07:08 pm

I emailed Digi once and had my address on the letters page. Ended up getting a couple of people emailing me trying to argue. Can't remember what it was about. Something trivial about the Amiga probably.

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Dan Farrimond link
20/12/2018 08:58:28 pm

Oooh, I wonder if the Digitiser where Biffo makes fun of your email address will be recovered one day?

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King of Sass
21/12/2018 09:20:37 am

I remember someone writing in about that once, the issue of printing email addresses I mean, and Mr Biffo replying saying it's different to printing a home address since people can't send you a weird item through an email. Or something along those lines. It was around twenty years ago so my memory of it isn't perfect.

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Dr. Budd Buttocks, MD
20/12/2018 03:09:12 pm

Those comments on PCs and online gaming have aged well, haven't they?

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Floop
20/12/2018 03:18:37 pm

That gamesworld page tickled my nostalgia bag.
The spring/summer 98 season was when I worked there as a helper monkey, the same season Mr Bundy was a contestant.

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Captain Commodore
20/12/2018 07:50:31 pm

Ugh it certainly didn't mine! Reading that suddenly reminded me of how awful that last season was. Loved watching the original 3 seasons when I got home from school on the cold winters evenings. The fourth season however absolutely broke my heart, it was a Supermarket Sweep-level load of ballbags that was about as enjoyable as trying to wank with Lego whilst sucking on a bin man's glove. The child-bullying cyberpunk apocalypse had been insultingly replaced with a tired old Games Master beach set, which whilst it worked for Dom and Kirk to make thinly-veiled cock jokes at page 3 girls like two drunk perverts on a sex tourism holiday, GW4 was Charlie Chalk-level tropical twee that ran only 15 minutes in length and designed for the pre-school morning slot. Think I only ever watched one episode, then went back to reading Digitiser before school instead.

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Dan Farrimond link
20/12/2018 08:53:48 pm

Wasn't GW Series 4 shown on Saturday mornings? And the episodes were only 10 minutes long?

Nice idea bringing it back, not enough room for execution.

Sad to say, but Hewland went a bit poo after 1995...

Floop
20/12/2018 10:42:23 pm

but...they had steps as guests! STEPS!

Marro
20/12/2018 06:19:57 pm

No Goldeneye in the top 25 games?
Explain, please...

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Wadaload
20/12/2018 07:23:35 pm

I suppose that encarta 97 did have a game in it that was at least as good as some modern mobile games. Also the last release was in 2009?

Would kids today think that ISS 64 is a space game?

Also; I enjoy the letter and word corruption for that more authentic teletext feel.

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Dan Farrimond link
20/12/2018 08:55:43 pm

Was the Encarta game called Mind Maze or something?

Also, I had to comment just because you mentioned ISS64, literally the greatest football game of all time. :-)

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Geoff Pastie
20/12/2018 10:27:04 pm

I always wondered whether Mr Biffo wrote the adverts at the bottom himself. I assumed so, but it seems weird that he’d be allowed.
“BAMBER: I AM OF THE FESTIVE!”

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TJ Le Text
20/12/2018 10:54:19 pm

I loved the banners mocking Bamber Boozeler and Super Scrooge. They seemed like a couple of twats.

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King of Sass
21/12/2018 09:23:13 am

On the subject of Digistiser being almost 26 years old now, I remember back in the 90s someone wrote in with his predictions for what gaming will be like in ten years, and one of them was 'Digitiser will not exist'. We should all find this person and 'cuss him bad' (and ignore the fact Mr Biffo agreed in his reply).

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Smilin' Peter
21/12/2018 04:47:07 pm

Weeeeelll, that person was sort of right. Becuase Digitiser did not actually exist for most of the 2010s (presumably 10 years after that prediction was made).

Except of course in all of our hearts.

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ChorltonWheelie
21/12/2018 11:37:38 am

Aaaaaand he still can't work out how to use a PC. Arf!

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Spiney O'Sullivan
21/12/2018 03:50:04 pm

Maybe it's all the festive cheer and commercialised nostalgia on TV at the moment finally getting to me, but I find looking at these old pages weirdly comforting.

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Guru Larry link
26/12/2018 09:05:56 pm

That PO Box for gamesworld is literally across the street from Hewland's old offices in Millharbour, Isle of Dogs.

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Stupidactingsmart
31/12/2018 09:58:32 pm

I enjoyed reading that. Now I would like a game of Bamboozle (which is apparently possible if you have an Android device).

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Dangleberries
3/1/2019 12:43:00 am

“I Alone” by Live. Top tune

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