 What time do you call this? Didn't you hear the dongs? It's practically the witching hour, and I have to be up early for my jaunt around the lake. I do believe that the early bird catches the worm - and you wouldn't believe the worms I've seen among the bullrushes at dawn. Never mind, my dear. Now that you're here there's something I simply must show you. No need to flinch: I know it's large, but it's merely a portfolio. That's right - it contains the project I've been working on this past week: a gallery of the 13 finest cosplays of the character Blanka, from the Street Fighter gaming series. You might want to hold onto something - you're about to go green. |  |
13. This hirsute waif is pursing his cherry pink lips. Perhaps he's getting ready to blow me - a kiss, that is. And what's going on with those fingers? Looks as if the green body paint has been rubbed clean away. My dear boy... what were you up to behind that column?
12. This snarling brute looks as if he's dunked his head in a cotton candy machine. Hang around with me a little longer, and that won't be the only sticky substance you'll find coating your head.
11. Is he hunched and snarling... or hunched and gagging? Perhaps there's a hair at the back of his throat. Well, I wonder how that got there... <PULLS INNOCENT FACE>
10. Look at those nails. Somebody needs to see a manicurist. And what exactly is that on your chest? It it a fossilised arthropod... or are you just pleased to see me?
9. That limp chest tuft and glimpse of pitta pocket moob draws ones attention from the main attraction here: those sultry eyes. And just what is it with the brassy forearm rags? I suppose they could come in handy for wiping one's mouth...
8. This Blanka is flicking the Vs. I do hope that isn't directed at me. Legend has it that this gesture was originally made by English longbowmen during the Battle of Agincourt. Keep that up, young man, and I'll be forced to pull back so firmly on your longbow that the string will snap.
7. A hotdog? For me? Why, I've come over a little queer... And not for the first time.
6. Is that a six-pack on your abdomen, or is it an arrow? I appreciate the gesture, but I really didn't need directions...
5. Is that the actor Anal Cumming beneath that auburn thatch? My apologies; of course, that was meant to read 'Alan Cumming'. Though on second thoughts...
4. Well, those manacles look familiar... Young man, who gave you permission to leave my Velvet Cellar? <WINK>
3. Goodness me. Somebody needs a waxing. Whip off those shorts, grip the backs of your knees, and I'll set about you with the strips. Given how much I suspect is down there, you might want to put something between your teeth. One wouldn't want you biting off your tongue, when we have the whole night ahead of us...
2. Well, what's he so happy about? It looks as if he's saying "Bring it on!". Well, bring it I shall, my toothy chum. I see you've already installed a furry rug on your chest to protect my knees and soak up any spillage.
1. This bonny boy appears to be doing some human beat boxing. Where does one sign up for lessons on how best to beat a box? Every time I've given it a go, the Mike head has ended up covered in spittle...
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