Larry Bundy Jr and Paul Gannon unbox the Rage 2 collectors edition for the Xbox One. And then interview the contents...!
Super Mario is back to tell you the exciting tale of how you travelled through time with Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg!
"Hello there. I'm The Man From Del Monte. If there's one thing I love, it's fruits. Apples, pears, berries... All the fruits. Peaches. All of them.
"There really is nothing more satisfying than sucking the juice out of a couple of ripe plums, and letting it dribble down my chin. Mmm... I'm imagining it right now... mmm... slurp-slurp... slurrrrrp... mmmmm... so nice...
"Anyway, I'm not here today to talk about that. I'm here to let you know what I think of the latest indie video games. Mr Biffo is going to be telling you all about them, then I shall deliver my verdict in the only way I know how. What a fun activity that will be. A nice change from wandering around orchards all day, enjoyable as that is.
"Though I doubt it will be as much fun as the thing I described to do with the plums... Slurrp... mmmm... ooh, yeah... mmm... licky-lick-lick... mmmm... lovely...
"...Oh dear. I've just realised that sounded a little sexual. I wouldn't want anybody to misconstrue me as a pervert. I have reputation to maintain in the fruit and auto-erotic asphyxiation communities."
"Hello, everyone. Black Francis here from the mega cool indie band The Pixies.
"Why are we cool? Well, I guess we do sort of crunchy guitar music, and we don't look like the traditional sort of polished pop group, and our album covers were all sort of a bit creepy and edgy, and we don't sell as many records as the biggest bands in the world... and it seems that's what counts as cool these days.
"Frankly (pun not intended), it baffles me, but I guess you could say we're perceived as having indie-tegrity! Trompe le Monde!
"You see, I love all things that could be considered indie; Indie-ana "Indy" Jones, indie-viduality, and indie-rect routes to places. Debaser! I also love indie video games - the type of game that is made by an independent developer. I like to give my favourite indie video games the Black Francis indie-dorsement. Monkey Gone To Heaven!
"Digitiser's Mr Biffo is going to take a look at some of the newest indie games to hit the scene, and I'm going to tell you whether or not they make the BF grade. Here Comes Your Man!"
It is well established that the game covers of yore weren't always great works of art.
Indeed, many of them appeared to have been either put together from clip-art by a four-year old, or scrawled in crayon by a smelly GCSE art student, or someone who got a cheap airbrush for Christmas.
However, the same thing could be said of the musical world too; for every Unknown Pleasures or The Velvet Underground & Nico, there's a... well, there's a load like these - which appear to fall in the intersection of the Venn diagram of covers that would work just as well for old games as they would for terrible albums.
Behold this thing of which I speak!
It's a well known fact that Virtual Reality only made it properly into homes some two decades later than predicted. Indeed, at one point it looked as if both Sega and Atari were poised to launch VR headsets, but the technology never reached a point where either company felt it was a viable gamble.
Combined with the collapse and sale of Virtuality, even arcade-based VR disappeared, leading to the technology being shelved as far as gaming went.
However, what few of us recall is that home Virtual Reality did happen back in the 90s - sort of - in the form of the VictorMaxx Stuntmaster. This head-mounted display, released in the US in 1993, was compatible with both the Super NES and Sega Genesis.
Digitiser will be doing a review of this abomination on our YouTube channel in the not-too-distant, but today... the focus is on the Stuntmaster packaging.
Which, as you'll, was seemingly put together by what we can only presume was some drug-crazed, hyperactive, psychopath...
Super Mario and the NES became such a phenomenon so quickly, that Nintendo initially adopted a 'make hay while the sun shines' approach - licensing out its character to almost any old idiot.
Published between 1990 and 1991, Nintendo Comics System was the result of a deal with Valiant Comics, and featured characters from Metroid, Zelda, and Captain N: The Game Master. Suffice to say, quality was variable, and certainly raised some questions - not least when you see some of the bizarre liberties Valiant took with Nintendo's most valuable properties.
Never is this more apparent than in the company's Super Mario Bros. titles... As we shall now investigate.
Though responsible for giving the world the Furby, Giga Pets, and the 2-XL robot toy thing, Tiger is perhaps best known for its line of handheld, electronic, LCD games.
Fact is, Tiger produced more handheld games than even Nintendo, banking on the potential marketability of its licenses, rather than the quality of its games. As well as handheld versions of popular game franchises, including Sonic, Street Fighter II and Duke Nukem 3D, it also based games on more unlikely properties, including MC Hammer, Ed Grimley (no idea) and Dr Fad (even less idea).
If you follow me on Twitter, you'll have noticed that I've been having fun imagining what Tiger's output would've been like if the quality control of its licensing ran rampant.
Here's a gallery.
Biffo, Gannon, Larry and Octav1us reminisce about the BASIC programming guide that came with the ZX Spectrum. That is, until their carefully crafted segment gets interrupted by a certain furious pig...
It's fair to say that modern game covers generally adhere to a pretty strict formula, in comparison to the games from 30-odd years ago.
Whether that's for better or worse is for you to decide, but here's a gallery of ZX Spectrum classics reimagined as PlayStation 4 games...
Appropriately for a video about the failed ZX Spectrum Vega+ handheld, our attempts to talk about it are derailed entirely by the unexpected appearance of a certain furious pig...
Featuring Mr Biffo, Paul Gannon, Octav1us and Larry Bundy Jr.
A short while back, I put together an article looking at some of Sony's more blatant attempts to shock and bewilder with its various PlayStation ad campaigns.
Since then, I have become aware that if you search for random stock images, slap a logo on the bottom, and slightly turn down the saturation, the end result is virtually indistinguishable from any of Sony's wilfully obscure efforts.
Here are some examples of what I'm talking about.
Yesterday, we discussed why our beloved European Super Nintendo was infinitely superior to the American Super Nintendo.
Today we shall investigate the two different names for Sega's 16-bit console - known as the Mega Drive or Genesis, depending upon which side of the Atlantic you squatted.
Why did the Mega Drive - the name it launched with in Japan in 1989 - get called something different when it came out in the US, despite Mega Drive clearly being one of the best names for a games console that anybody has ever been arsed to think of?
It was all down to trademark. In America, Mega Drive Systems Inc - a manufacturer of computer storage solutions - already had the name Mega Drive in their pocket. Thus, they went for Genesis, as a way of suggesting that the console would mark the real dawn of home video gaming.
Admittedly, Genesis isn't the worst name in the world, but it already had other associations, dependent on whether you were a creationist or a prog rock fan - neither of which were cool or edgy.
But which was better? SPOILER: It was "Mega Drive", obviously.
And here's why.
Do you ever feel like you're not entirely the same as everyone else, that the world is depraved and full of weird perverts? I know we're not supposed to kinkshame, but if you've ever had the gross misfortune to stumble upon the world of fan fiction you'll have been exposed to some of the darker, more messed-up, elements of humanity. And, well, I don't care what you say; some of that stuff just ain't normal.
Nowhere is this more evident than the troublingly popular sub-genre of erotic Sonic The Hedgehog fan creations. Here's a brief sampling of the weirder, more awful, examples of amateur storytelling featuring the asexual hedgehog.
Please be aware... this gets rather NSFW.
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