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THE MAN'S DADDY'S NEW COMEDY JOKES

15/1/2020

Hello. I'm a popular comedian called The Man's Daddy. We're already halfway through January, and already I've had an eventful year.

I've spent most of this month on my latest comedy tour. It was a good tour, but also a bad tour, because at one of my shows the audience died. It was so sad. They all boiled to death in the lobby!

Anyway, I'm ready now to share with you some of the hilarious comedy jokes I've been telling on tour. I can't be certain, but I think these might be my best jokes yet. Or my worst. Who can say?

Either way, I hope you like them. Well, I'd better go. I've got a lot of washing to do. I only got back last night. Well, bye then. Bye. Hope you like these jokes. Yeah, bye. See you soon, yeah? Okay, yeah. Bye. Bye then. Enjoy my jokes. Bye. See you soon, I hope. Bye.

3 Comments

tHE MAN'S DADDY'S CHRISTMAS CRACKER JOKES - TO PRINT OUT AND USE ON Christmas Day!

24/12/2019

5 Comments

THE MAN'S DADDY'S VICTORY JOKES

16/9/2019

5 Comments

"Hello. I'm a popular comedian called The Man's Daddy. I recently won the Digitiser Characters World Cup, which is the greatest honour of my life. In fact, only one other day comes close to this moment, and that was the day I thought I saw a peg near a bulb!

"I would like to thank everyone who voted for me. I've been celebrating my victory by panting at crabs, and writing some more of my popular comedy jokes. I dunno, but I think these are some really good jokes. I hope you like them. I dunno why, but for some reason I just really hope you like them.

"Anyway, it's time for me to go now. Thanks for voting for me. Thanks even if you didn't vote for me. Here are the jokes I mentioned. Hope you like them. Thanks again, yeah? Well, anyway, bye then. I've got to go now. Yeah, bye. Bye then. Thanks for doing the voting thing. I'll see you soon, probably. Bye, yeah? Yeah, bye. Bye then. Hope you like the jokes. Bye then. Bye. Thanks for voting, and not voting. Anyway, bye now. Gotta go. Bye."

5 Comments

THE MAN'S DADDY'S popular CHRISTMAS CRACKER JOKES

19/12/2018

12 Comments

Hello. I'm a popular comedian called The Man's Daddy. What are you all having for Christmas dinner? I know it is custom to ingest a heated turkeybird, but this year I thought I'd mix things up a bit, so I'm just going to lay in the garden face-down and wait for a worm. When one rises from the sod, I shall greet it thus: "Good afternoon, youngworm - and a Merry Christmas from all of us here on the surface! Yeah, noice. Well noice. Love it, mate."

Then I'm going to start screaming and sobbing and snapping my teeth, because it will have been the most subtle thing that has ever happened within the human world.

Something many families like to do at Christmas is laugh erratically at the tiny jokes they find inside a Christmas crackuss. Nobody knows who writes the jokes, or how they get inside the crackuss, but this year the mystery shall be partly solved. Please understand: this festive season, YOU shall be the one compelling the "funnies" into the "crackuss"!

That is, if you'll be so kind as to use my special Christmas crackuss jokes!

So anyway, I really hope you like them. Yeah, I really do. Hope you like my jokes. Well, anyway, bye then. Gotta go now. Yeah, bye. Bye, then. Hope you really like my jokes. Okay, bye.

Yeah, bye.

Like the jokes, yeah?

Okay. Bye. Yeah, bye. Don't forget to like the jokes. Okay. Noice.

12 Comments

THE MAN'S DADDY'S CHRISTMAS CRACKER JOKES

20/12/2017

16 Comments

Hello. I'm a popular Christmas comedian called The Man's Daddy. Do you like Christmas? I know I do. Every Christmas my family and I gather together in a fallow field and throw handfuls of frozen glitter down our own throats.

Obviously, many of us are hospitalised. I don't even know why we do it. Oh well. Never mind.

I've been working hard to bring you some brand new hilarious Christmas cracker jokes - which you can print out at home, and slide up inside the hole at the end of your family-crackers. These really are great jokes. I hope you like them.

Anyway. Best be off. I'll see you soon, yeah? Yeah, okay. See you soon. Yeah, bye. Bye then. See you soon? Hope you like my Christmas jokes. Okay, bye. See you soon, yeah? Yeah, okay, Bye then. Yeah, bye. Bye, okay? Bye.

16 Comments

THE MAN'S DADDY'S BUMPER SELECTION

12/7/2017

20 Comments

Hello. I'm a popular comedian called The Man's Daddy. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but I've got some bad news. Are you ready to hear it? Okay. Well, here goes nothing... the news is: I really don't like greens!

Now that we've got that out of the way, perhaps you'd like to invite me around for dinner. My favourite food? Well, I'd really like a plate of stewed genes, with a nucleic acid dressing. Yum yum.

Yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yip yip yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum yum?

Anyway. Here are some cool new jokes that I've written. I hope you think they're funny. Here are the jokes now. Fingers crossed you like them, okay? Well, bye anyway. Enjoy the jokes, yeah? Okay, bye. Bye then. Have fun with the jokes. Yeah, bye. Bye.

20 Comments

THE MAN'S DADDY'S ELECTION SPECIAL

8/6/2017

13 Comments

Hello. I'm a popular comedian called The Man's Daddy. I'm here today with some fantastic topical political jokes that I've written to mark the 2017 General Election. I hope these jokes are okay. I just made them up off the top of my head. It only took me a couple of minutes. Oh well.

Please be aware, that these jokes are just for fun, and even though they will be among the most satirical jokes you'll ever read, they are not in any way intended to influence your decision on polling day.

In fact, I don't even know who I'm going to be voting for. I never do. Last time, I even spoiled my paper! Although that was mostly an accident due to a bout of particularly angry diarrhoea... It was awful to be honest with you. I started screaming when it wouldn't stop, and one of the returning officers had to drag me out of the booth by my ankles! I didn't even really know what was going on.

Anyway, it's almost time for you to have a read of the jokes. I really hope they're okay. Well... anyway. Bye then. Yeah, bye? Bye, okay? Hope you like my jokes. Bye. Enjoy my jokes. Bye.

13 Comments

THE MAN'S DADDY: HILARIOUS BREXIT JOKES!

29/3/2017

18 Comments

Hello. I'm a popular comedian called The Man's Daddy.

It has been drawn to my attention that today is the day that the British government triggers Article 50, marking the formal notice of Britain's withdrawal from the European Union.

As a popular comedian, who specialises in topical humour, it is my job to turn this historical event into an hysterical one, by writing as many great topical jokes as possible.

Unfortunately, I've no idea if any of these jokes are any good, as I don't really understand what all this fuss over Brexit is all about. I have no problems with my neighbours, and they're all Foreigners.

Specifically, they are members of the British-American rock band Foreigner. The only trouble I've had with them is 'I Want To Know What Love Is' blasting through the wall 24-7, and vocalist Lou Gramm once having a bath in my garden pond, while doing a poo at the same time.

Anyway. It's time for those Brexit jokes. I hope you like them. Well, bye then. Yeah, bye. Hope you like the Brexit jokes I've done. Bye, yeah? Okay, bye. Bye. Enjoy the jokes, yeah?

18 Comments

THE MAN'S DADDY'S CHRISTMAS CRACKER COMEDY JOKES

19/12/2016

14 Comments

Hello. I'm a popular comedian called The Man's Daddy. Like most of you... around this time of year, I usually buy a turkey from the supermaket, carve a scary face into it, place a candle inside, and leave it out the front of my house.

Here's a top life-hack: to discourage foxes from stealing your turkey, tie a handbell to your wrist, and stand next to the turkey with a cutlass. Every time you wave the cutlass, the bell will ring, and any nearby foxes might have a heart attack.

The thing I love most at Christmas is laughing. Sometimes I just stand by the Christmas tree in the living room, laughing loudly to myself and others. Sometimes my family ask that I stop. Other times they just leave the room, and let me carry on.

Anyway.

If you'd like the laugh along with me this Christmas, here are some jokes I've written for you to print out, roll up, and slide into your family crackers on Christmas Day. Your relations will no doubt find them considerably more mirthsome than the default funnies you get in most crackers. I hope so anyway. I hope you all like my jokes. Well anyway. Bye then. Yeah, bye. Bye - hope your family like my jokes. Have a good Christmas, yeah? Yeah, ok. Bye then. Bye. Enjoy my jokes, yeah? OK.

14 Comments

DIGIFEST: THE INTRO VIDEO

3/10/2016

3 Comments

So you didn't make it to the Block Party/Digifest last weekend. But that's okay - because here's some more of the intro video we played at the event... More to follow! Yes - MORE!

3 Comments

THE MAN'S DADDY'S JOKE-A-THON

23/8/2016

14 Comments

Hello. I'm a popular comedian called The Man's Daddy.

Sorry I haven't been here much, but I've been off working the cruise ships. It has been a lot of fun performing every night to fat seasick drunks on a boat, but I'm very glad to be back on the old terra firma.

Not least because on my last trip the entire ship went into lockdown due to the norovirus. Four people died, the ship had to be quarantined off the coast of Miami, and then a fire broke out which killed even more people.

Alright, that isn't a very funny anecdote, but... well... in fact, it isn't funny at all. It's just really sad and disgusting. I can still smell the smoke and poo.

Anyway. Onwards and upwards, as they say. Why not cheer yourself up with these jokes that I wrote while watching one of the passengers die? I hope you like them. Yeah, well, bye then. Yeah, bye. See you soon. Bye. Hope you like the jokes. Smoke and poo, yeah? Bye then. Yeah, bye.

14 Comments

THE MAN'S DADDY: ED BALLS JOKES

28/4/2016

14 Comments

Hello. I'm a popular comedian called The Man's Daddy.

It's rare that I venture into political jokes, but as today is a special day in the political calendar - the anniversary of the day that a shivering and embryonic Ed Balls emerged from his silken meat truss into the harsh and unforgiving dazzle of the modern world - I have written a number of excellent Ed Balls jokes.

Well, I say they're excellent, but I don't really know. I wrote most of them while blindfolded, and driving a car. I hope they're okay. I guess you'll be the judge of that.

Anyway. Here they are (the jokes). Hope you like them. Hope they're not too bad. Bye then. Yeah, bye. Really hope you like the jokes. Yeah, bye. Bye then. Bye. Ed Balls.

14 Comments

THE MAN'S DADDY PRESENTS YOU WITH HIS JOKES

15/4/2016

13 Comments

Hello. I'm a popular comedian called The Man's Daddy. As you might be aware, I've recently been on tour. Though I say tour... I was mostly just hanging out in front of the house, groaning and squirming around on my back, like a vocal worm. Oh well. Never mind, yeah.

I hope you're alright with this, but I've written some new comedy jokes for my routine that I'd really like to run by you. I don't know if they're any good. I mean, they might not be. I'm not a very good judge of jokes. And that's fine if you don't like them. It doesn't matter. I just really want to run them by you.

Anyway. Here they are then, yeah. I'd best be going. Well, I hope you like my jokes. Ok, bye then. Yeah, bye. Bye. Here are the jokes. They're just here. Yeah, hope you like them. Anyway, yeah. Bye. Yeah, bye. Bye...

13 Comments

THE MAN'S DADDY: PANCAKE JOKES

9/2/2016

10 Comments

Hello. I'm The Man's Daddy. I'm here because it's Shrove Tuesday, better known to you and I as The Day of the Cakes (type: pan). Due to this, I've decided to write some satirical jokes about pancakes. Please be aware that some of these jokes are so satirical that they might make your eyes water.

Or maybe they won't. I don't know. I'm always getting satirical jokes mixed up with being jabbed in the eyes by a sheet of rolled-up sandpaper.

Anyway, it's nearly time for the jokes. I hope you think they're ok. But, y'know, if don't like them that's alright, I suppose. I won't think any differently of you. I just hope you give them a chance, yeah. Well, I'm off now. Hope you like the satirical pancake jokes. Bye then. I'll see you soon. Yeah, bye. Bye then. Hope you like the pancake jokes. Yeah, bye. See you. Jokes then.

10 Comments

THE MAN'S DADDY: HIS JOKES HAVE ARRIVED

8/1/2016

5 Comments

Hello. I'm a popular comedian called The Man's Daddy. I don't even know if I that's my actual name, or if I even really exist. Oh well.

I'm afraid I haven't been around for a while. I've not been ill, or busy - I've just not been around. It doesn't matter.

Anyway, I'm here now, and I've written some new jokes that I'd really like to share with you. Some of them are probably alright, but it's difficult to know, really. Comedy is really subjective, so you might like different ones to me. I suppose that's just how it goes. Never mind.

Anyway, I'm off now. I'll see you again, I expect. Bye, then. Yeah - bye. Hope you like some of the jokes. Bye. Have a good day. Thanks.

5 Comments

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