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CAN YOU SURVIVE THE ULTIMATE OSTRICH STARE-DOWN?

17/10/2016

7 Comments

 
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Remember Midway's Joust? It's one of the few video games to feature ostriches. There's a reason for that, and that reason is this reason: ostriches are horrible, and they hate humans, and why would anyone want to put ostriches in a game?

To prove it, here is the ultimate ostrich stare-out. Will you make it all the way to the end, or will you crumble beneath their abhorrent gaze?
That vile glare... burrowing into your soul, judging you. The cursed bird knows you, for you are one and the same.
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The eyes, narrowed in judgement, the mouth curled downwards in disapproval. This ostrich hates you simply for existing.
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"Die, human scum!" hisses the ostrich in its shrill howl, daring you to maintain your stare, as it strives to underline its position atop the food chain.
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Behold the face of pure evil. This is evolution's nightmare, Darwin's Horror, a feathered malignance.
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No words emanate from its maw, just the primal, piercing squawks of a creature hewn from rancour. 
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"Mimmin?"
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"Mimmin."
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"Come at me, bro," screeches the monstrous bird-thing. "Come at me and see what you get. I'll do ya."
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This slave to the bird is reconsidering the folly which led him here, for he surely knows that his breaths are counting down toward the inevitable. 
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Death personified.
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FROM THE ARCHIVE:
​HERE ARE 15 STUFFED ANIMALS FOR YOU TO HAVE SOME SORT OF EMOTIONAL REACTION TO
​
LET'S ALL GO TO THE ZOO: A GALLERY OF TAXIDERMY DISASTERS
15 STUFFED MONKEYS YOU'LL WISH YOU HADN'T SEEN
7 Comments
Spiney O'Sullivan
17/10/2016 01:32:28 pm

Those ostriches could do with a coat of swan paint.

Reply
Quacky-McFlap
17/10/2016 01:54:36 pm

1 pterodactyl will fix them. meep-meep-a-meep

Reply
flap-flapfla
17/10/2016 07:07:16 pm

lol don't be silly there's no such thing as a "peterdactol"

Reply
Peter Dactol
17/10/2016 09:15:53 pm

I take Pterodactyl on long haul flights. Just don't drink the red wine with your in flight meal!

David W
17/10/2016 10:38:03 pm

People shun me since I read this article. I've been ostrich-eyed.

Reply
Lemon Farl
18/10/2016 04:10:10 pm

Imagining that requires ostrich of the imagination

Reply
Indianapolis Auto Locksmith link
14/9/2022 01:18:04 am

Great blog I enjoyed readinng

Reply



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