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CAN WE TELL WHAT THESE WII U USERS HAVE EATEN JUST BY LOOKING AT THEM?

3/11/2016

14 Comments

 
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This week, the final Wii U rolls off of the Nintendo production lines, marking the end of a dream for the company. The Wii U, by modern standards, wasn't a success. A handful of must-have games weren't enough to stop the awkwardly-designed console trailing behind its competitors.

​Nevertheless, in celebration of Nintendo's second-greatest folly, here's a gallery of satisfied Wii U gamers. Yet the question remains: can we tell what they've just eaten, merely from looking at them?
Pink shirt woman, left: Boots meal deal (BLT sandwich, Shapers crisps, bottle of Diet Coke).

Man, centre: Subway meal deal (Meatball Marinara, Walkers cheese & onion crisps, can of Lilt).

​Black shirt man, right: Seven hamburgers.
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Purple Trousers, second from right: Liquids only (needs toilet).

Man in plaid shirt, left: Peanuts 'n' soil.
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Boy, right: Foie gras bap with poupon.

Boy, second left: Quinoa nibbles and kale salad.
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Woman: Petri dish covered in sprinkles.

​Man: Small bowl of plain crisps or pretzels, glass of water.
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Rabbit, left: Hay, own faeces.

Man, second left: Normal sandwich.

​Shrek, right: Boiled rats with onions.
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Boy: Sunny Delight, fumes.
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Green shirt, left: Serotonin reuptake inhibitors.

Blue shirt, right:
Serotonin reuptake inhibitors.
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Black shirt, centre: Gummi bears, can of Red Bull, bbq Kettle Chips, dog.
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Mother, left: Wine, and lots of it.

Child, second left: His mother's tears and energy reserves.
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Boy, left: Worms.

Mother, centre: Gluten free margherita pizza, with green salad and extra olives. 

​Boy, right: Worms.
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Girl, left: Half a parent.

Boy, centre: The other half of the parent.

Girl, right: The other parent.
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FROM THE ARCHIVE:
14 Comments
RichardM
3/11/2016 09:19:39 am

I thought the Halloween terror was over, but the rabbit ate his own faces!? The horror!

Reply
Toni Bowser
3/11/2016 09:39:20 am

What kind of sinister Nintendo-related satanic ritual are those three kids participating in?

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WiiUbend
3/11/2016 10:08:06 am

I'm considering a WiiU now they have been hacked, but I honestly still don't know if it's worth it. What are some WiiU must-haves? Thus far I have 'Bayonetta 2' on the list

Reply
Cherry
3/11/2016 12:18:30 pm

Some great games off the tip of my cheese-encrusted flaps:

Bayonetta 2
Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker
Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze
Hyrule Warriors
Kirby and the Rainbow Paintbrush
Mario Kart 8
Mario Party 10 (with friends)
New Super Mario Bros. U
Nintendo Land (especially with friends)
Paper Mario Colour Splash
Pikmin 3
Splatoon
Super Mario 3D World
Zelda remasters (if you've not played originals)
The Wonderful 101
Wii Party U (especially with friends)
Xenoblade Chronicles X
Yoshi's Woolly World (Yoshi's Island 5 essentially)

(loads of Wii U ware and virtual console classics like metroid prime trilogy)

Reply
WiiUbend
3/11/2016 12:32:58 pm

That'll do it, thanks!

Starbuck
4/11/2016 12:16:30 am

Disregarding some multiformat titles, Lego City Undercover and Rayman Legends "proper version" have got heaps of goodness too.

Not Zombi-U though. Too scary for me.

Chris
3/11/2016 10:42:53 am

The man on the left in the second pic I think has been eating either drugs, or a time machine from the past. He is looking very confused as to what he is holding.

Reply
Befouled Swordfish
3/11/2016 12:35:52 pm

Where did you get these pics Biffo? Some of these seem way too intimate for publicity shots

Reply
Kara Van Park
3/11/2016 01:23:40 pm

Rich white folk at the top that want us at each others throats because they don't want us to realise that we've got more in common with the supposed outsiders than we do with them. Divide and conquer.

Reply
Nick
3/11/2016 01:48:52 pm

Down with Wii U owners! I knew I didn't trust that pair in the top photo.

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Kara Van Park
3/11/2016 01:24:22 pm

Can you delete that pls? Wrong page!

Reply
David W
3/11/2016 05:00:29 pm

I think it's just fine here.

Reply
Raybies
3/11/2016 06:41:25 pm

Nintendo have denied that the Wii U has ended production.

This is the second time the rumour went round, the second time Nintendo denied it, and the second time nobody noticed the denial because" the Wii U is the biggest flop ever, of course they've stopped making them"

Reply
Richard
6/11/2016 11:59:48 am

Boy who ate worms! I have on good authority that the mother ate both children shortly after that picture was taken and the other two shortly before, if you look carefully...

Reply



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