We know we've already won back a few people who buggered off after ep 1, but the general consensus seems to be that, well, people just want more. In all honesty, I don't know what happens after the series ends.
At the moment all I can think about is the next couple of episodes, and then taking a break, but just know that we would love to build on what we've achieved, and we're open to suggestions as to how we fund it. I'm a bit off the notion of doing another Kickstarter at the minute...
For now, the best thing you can do is tell people about this show. We've found a core, passionate, audience - but there have to be more people out there who'd love this. We're well aware that we've made something very special here.
Anyhow. Time to reveal some of these: secrets.
If you've yet to see the episode, be aware that this article contains spoilers...
I mean, I was alright with chucking Gannon in there and jumping in after him... but series 2 - if they all came back - I'd want Larry, Jenny and Octav1us doing much more stuff.
We had to build trust in one another before we could risk a fall. In any group setting there are stages it goes through before it reaches full performance. Indeed, I draw your attention to
We pretty much jumped to the performing stage really quickly, avoiding too much in the way of personality clashes and the like. Which was just as well, because there wasn't the time to all fall out with one another. It helped hugely having a professional crew who knew what was expected of them.
A project like this needs a leader, but it's hard for me to adopt that role naturally. I convince myself that I'm more comfortable just being part of the gang, because I don't want to be the one who has to make unpopular decisions, or voice unpopular opinions. I just want to get along with everyone, and not be the "bad guy".
Yet over the course of my life, I seem to have found myself in these sorts of situations, and having to step up.
Sorry to bang on about it, but something I learned about myself when I was doing my psychotherapist training was that I've got a bit of a disconnect between how I see my role in a group and how others see me. I sort of feel I want to disappear, but the very nature of who I am doesn't really allow it.
There was a point towards the end of my training where I realised the group wasn't moving forward, because it was stuck in a sort of loop of people either lashing out at one another or just telling one another how amazing they were and how much they all loved one another, and... none of it was real. A big part of becoming a decent therapist is learning to be able to take feedback, and realising when that feedback is honest, and when that feedback is just people projecting upon you. We can only grow if people are truly open - in a compassionate, loving, way, of course.
Being the idiot I am, I started being honest with people - again, in a way that was never intended to be cruel, but open in the way our tutors were encouraging us to be.
And, of course, while the tutors loved it, most of my fellow students bloody hated it, and I made myself very unpopular, because they all wanted to stay loved-up, or stay being victims, or stay as persecutors, or rescuers - but nobody was growing. Nobody was moving on, and everyone seemed a long way from being ready to be counsellors. I mean, I've no idea whether anything I said helped, because I grew tired of the weekly drama, and dropped out before I could finish, but...
...What was I saying?
Regardless, any project, any group, does need a captain who can stay on course when the weather gets nasty, and with Digi being my baby... people were automatically looking to me for that steer. If somebody hadn't accepted that role, we'd have been screwed... And really, it could only have been me.
What I've learned about leadership is that it becomes a balance between utilising the skills and experience of those in the team, and not letting too many voices dilute my vision for the show, while also trying to ensure people feel heard, appreciated and motivated. Also: don't be a dick.
Whatever the case, it seemed to work, and if we do a series 2, this captain will be much more open to his crew occasionally taking the wheel...
Apropos of nothing... for those who enjoy Eli Silverman from Cheapshow, there's a lot more of him over the remaining couple of episodes...
And they give each of my co-hosts the chance to shine.
For me, this episode as a whole finally gets the balance right between games stuff and all-out surrealist whimsy. The unfortunate thing about not having the time or money to do a pilot is that I've had to test things out as I go. In a way, it's a bit like showing the teacher your working out.
I hope you've seen the show progress, and get more confident, with every week. If so, thanks for sticking with it through its teething period.
"I'd like to nail his character," etc. etc...
Unfortunately, Marillion's old cover artist, Mark Wilkinson, never illustrated any video game covers...
Don't think I didn't look.
That bit at the end where the skateboard rolls into shot and smashes into stuff is completely real - and I panic because it had crashed into several hundred pounds worth of camera lenses..
He was there the day we were filming last week's Crane Grabber game - in fact, you'll hopefully eventually get to see his hands-on attempt at it, which sadly had to be cut for pacing and time - and he's so nice that I felt terribly embarrassed as it all fell apart. He's the one you hear me apologising to in the post-credits outtake.
Even weirder, we both grew up near one another - so we had lots in common.
While I know he's a controversial figure (which all happened after we'd filmed), I can tell you that - outside of the hat - he's friendly and very polite and a little bit shy, and completely different to his online persona. I also have to give him credit for how he threw himself into this, and how he's taken on the chin my efforts to undermine him.
Also, there was a lot more of this sequence I could've left in, but... let's face it... you see quite enough of Larry Bundy Jr's arse as it is.
Right. That's it for this week. Please keep sharing the episode. Hopefully we can win back some of the people who had a knee-jerk reaction to the first couple of eps, because I think we're very much where we want to be now.
Next weekend's episode is the Jungle Special - featuring an interview with Dan "Videogame Nation" Maher, Ashens showing us the Grandstand Light Games, and a little something called Pixeltionary...