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BACK ME NOW FOR FURTHER ABSURD HIJINKS!

3/7/2017

29 Comments

 
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Hello chums. Alas, there'll be no proper Digi today, as I'm in the midst of deadline hell, while simultaneously planning the Finale of Mr Biffo's Found Footage and trying to organise the Premiere Party for September 9th (which we think is now going to be held in Watford - relatively easy for both those coming from London, and those outside of London). 

However, talking of the Finale... some of you may be unaware that we're running a new crowdfunding campaign to realise the grand and ridiculous ambition of the series' conclusion. Candidly, the main series is more or less done (that's some six eps of abject silliness), but I was spending a fortune of my own money on realising the finale, and I needed a bit of help.

To this end, I've gone with Indiegogo this time around, and though we've already blasted through our goal - after a few wobbles at the weekend with the site not accepting backers, and somebody impersonating me on Twitter - you can still contribute.

Obviously, there's no obligation, but if you did feel like being a part of it - or want to grab, say, a special edition DVD, signed script, a pair of tickets to that sweet, sweet post-apocalyptic premiere, a prop from the show...  or maybe you fancy being a producer - you can still donate, and I promise that every penny will be used in the production. No, a signed script doesn't cost £45 to produce, but it'll be a unique collectible, and the point is that most of the money will be ploughed back into the finale.

Bluntly... the more we raise, the more absurd and polished the finale will be. And it's already going to be pretty absurd and polished.

Anyhow - you can click right here to view the Indiegogo page. A massive thank you to everyone who has contributed thus far - and to those of you who are considering contributing right this second.

​I will see you in the Vortex...

29 Comments
Bingo Rose
3/7/2017 10:13:02 am

I live in Watford, so for the launch party I will do this: Attend.

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Briskets
3/7/2017 10:33:14 am

Can I go to the launch party even if I'm poor and unloved and my personal hygiene has been described as 'a barrier'?

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Mr Biffo
3/7/2017 10:37:53 am

Yessss... but try and have a wash beforehand. Do you want just a single ticket? Might be adding those to the Indiegogo.

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Brisketamine
3/7/2017 03:28:13 pm

I really wanna go. Any idea if it will be early/late September?

Mr Biffo
3/7/2017 03:32:50 pm

9th September!

Charcoal Briskettes
3/7/2017 03:36:41 pm

Oh sweet!

John Veness
3/7/2017 10:54:36 am

Watford sounds good to me, easier than central London for those of us from outside. Hopefully there will be parking at the venue, even if that means I can't drink, as I live out in the sticks miles away from any train station.

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Da5e
3/7/2017 10:59:57 am

Hmm, I haven't listened to Hey! Hello! in ages. Gonna stick a few quid in this particular hat just for that reminder.

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Nick
3/7/2017 11:15:51 am

Will the premiere be white tie only?

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Mr Biffo
3/7/2017 11:25:33 am

Brown tie only.

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RichardM
3/7/2017 11:34:07 am

I heard brown tie. Regret I can't make the premier due to geography and having a thousand children: do have a few post-apocalyptic pints for me!

Also: congratulations again, Biffo. There's a clear appetite for your work. Couldn't be more pleased to help make this a reality, and can't wait to see it for reals.

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Nikki
3/7/2017 11:32:13 am

Yay, no central london venue!

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@blscuits
3/7/2017 11:52:33 am

Let's write our own Digi articles as Biffo is busy this week -

COMPUTER GAMES ARE STILL REALLY GOOD - By Biscuits the character

I played a computer game at the weekend and waited for the inevitable torpor and whinging to kick in, but it didn't, because the game was really fun. Then I realized that every game I've played this year has been really fun. Then I realized games are actually really fun still, for the most part.

My claim is that most people whining about such things are annoyed because the particular type of game they themselves like is not well represented in the market at that point, or they are chasing the ever-fading flame of nostalgia, and they are annoyed that reality no longer lives up to their ideas of the past: you know, what they used to build and define their concept of a 'good game'.

If you disagree with me you're a fool, your bum is gross and smells, and your face is probably your bum too.

-@mrblffo

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Biscuit lover
3/7/2017 12:25:44 pm

TOP THREE BISCUITS - BY BISCUIT LOVER

1. MR BISCUITS THE CHARACTER

He is the best biscuit!

2. BISCUITS (EDIBLE)

These are the best edible biscuits!

3. BISCUITS (THE DOG)

There's probably a dog called Biscuits. Don't ask me, man, I don't know.

IN SUMMARY: All biscuits are good biscuits, apart from Biscuits The Dog, who is a very naughty boy and smeared his brown dog-eggs all over my carpet.

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Biscuits
3/7/2017 01:14:16 pm

I am truly humbled to receive this honour. I am now lording it over my workmates, who know me as Ben and don't believe it's me. It's not going over too well tbh, I keep demanding their reverence but they don't look bothered.

Check out Biscuit the dog: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHgbkmj6lPU

Those were likely to be processed data packets instead of dog eggs?

Jol
3/7/2017 02:15:46 pm

"the ever fading flame of nostalgia" - I spent Friday night chasing that flame by buying Freedom Planet on the PS4. All the retro chatter on here gave me an itch that needed scratching (insert crabs joke here). Firstly, buying something from the US PSN when you're based in the UK is a pain in the arse. Secondly, Freedom Planet is feckin brilliant. Running and bouncing around and whipping robots with your purple dragon hair is just so much fun. And yeah I know it's been on Steam for about five years but I didn't buy a PS4 to play games on my laptop.

Re: games these days / indie vs AAA / old vs new etc etc etc. For me it's more of an issue of time rather than fun. I've got the day off work, which means I've got a big empty bit of time to fill playing games. But I'm also 32 and have a dog* to walk, laundry to do, a dishwasher to fill, curtain hooks to replace, shirts to iron, and suddenly it's 14:00 and I've not played anything. So once all this pish is out the way I can settle down on the couch to play about an hour or two of Freedom Planet, or maybe tackle a tiny portion of a 70 hour beast. And because I'm not a stupid child relying on stupid pocket money to buy these things I now own a lot of these 70 hour beasts. And they've all got skill trees and crafting and side quests and epic stories and a map that takes about half an hour to cross.

As someone with a lot less game time than he wants there's definitely an appeal in smaller games. Something that offers a focused experience with some core mechanics over those sprawling epics that all copy the best ideas from each other. Those sprawling epics can still be very enjoyable, but I can see how someone would resent a group of games that are so time consuming while offering fairly similar experiences.

*not called Biscuits

Spiney O'Sullivan
3/7/2017 02:20:28 pm

In the spirit of helping ease Biffo's load, here's another Digi article, ready for print. You don't need to read it or anything, Biffo, it's all proof-read, and good to go.


TOP TEN DIGITISER HEARTFELT APOLOGIES

Whether it's being late to a meeting, forgetting to buy milk before the annual village tea festival, or drinking too much paint stripper and ruining Christmas with the in-laws by trying to kiss the vicar, we all make mistakes now and then. Digitiser is not exempt to the odd oops-me-do, and would therefore like to offer its most sincere and heartfelt apologies for the following slip-ups.

1) Our 72% Sonic 3 review - Digitiser is big enough to admit when it has just been terribly, unforgivably wrong. And this is one of those cases.

2) Sonic 3 not getting 100% - Really, we don't know what we were thinking. Chalk it up to having drunk too much paint stripper that night before.

3) Not retrospectively bumping our 72% Sonic 3 review up to 200% when Sonic and Knuckles completed it - Sonic 3 & Knuckles was like the Star Wars of video games. Nobody would say "well, A New Hope isn't any good because they don't reveal and redeem Luke's father in it". Would they?

4) Sabotaging the Sonic The Hedgehog franchise with our 72% Sonic 3 review - Everything was going swimmingly for Sonic the Hedgehog (even though he couldn't actually swim) until this point. Then suddenly after 1994, things all changed, and there's no other obvious reason for the change in Sega's fortunes. Was it an attempt at sabotage brought on from jealousy over the fact that my preferred platform mascot lacked a cool 90s attitude that would make him an eternally relevant icon? Hard to say, but I must admit that I slept in a room decorated with Super Mario wallpaper and bed linens at the time.

5) Sabotaging Michael Jackson with our 72% Sonic 3 review - All fans of pop are right to hate us for this blunder. No doubt the shock of seeing a project that he allegedly worked on attacked so mercilessly and inaccurately led to that ill-judged Earth Song debacle at the 1996 Brit Awards.

6) Frankly, we're too filled with remorse to think of five more apologies, so are going to drown our sorrows in delicious paint stripper. For all of these unnecessary acts of cruelty and abuse, we are this: desperate for your forgiveness.

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Digifan
3/7/2017 03:56:26 pm

Authentic!

Mr Biffo
5/7/2017 10:12:57 am

I'm nothing if not conciliatory.

Not Jareth Smith
3/7/2017 12:34:55 pm

I agree.

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Frank Chickens
3/7/2017 12:44:02 pm

Just purchased of a singleton's ticket for the premiere.

Being in Watford means it will be easier to get there than London.

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Biccos
3/7/2017 01:20:31 pm

My colleague has accidentally sent me an email that says:

"Thanks Chicken

Don't make it a biggie as I have to fit it in my rusksack!!! See you later ;)"

I can't think of a funny enough response

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Regular John
3/7/2017 12:45:53 pm

I would be right up to attend the launch party. But (un)fortunately my wedding is on the 10th, and I live a three hour drive away, but I'm seriously considering it.

Is jilting your bride still grounds for being outcast from your friends and family? Or have times changed yet?

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Mary Marry
3/7/2017 02:48:55 pm

Opinions have not changed in regards to exiling, however I find more and more couples are becoming more adventurous with their honeymoon choices

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Nick
3/7/2017 03:49:01 pm

Watford is lovely at that time of year.You can walk hand in hand along the banks of the River Colne, enjoy a guided tour around the Hertfordshire Fire Museum all before taking in an evening of fun and strangeness with a bunch of weirdos off of the internet.

"Memories are made of this..."

Regular John
3/7/2017 07:18:54 pm

Good lord no. My better half would absolutely hate the launch party. I played her episode 1 a couple of months ago, she went to bed before the Wozniak song had even finished, and she was sufficiently tipsy.

She did start to enjoy the old Chris Morris radio 1 shows I imposed on her during a recent long car journey, so there is hope for her yet.

I was planning to attend with my best man. He loves all things Digi too.

I'm positive I'll be available to attend the launch party for series 2 instead. Provided there is one of course, and unless Sky come along waving a fat cheque book at him after seeing Found Footage, and he goes full Coogan.

Matthew Long
3/7/2017 10:52:45 pm

"I'm positive I'll be available to attend the launch party for series 2 instead. Provided there is one of course, and unless Sky come along waving a fat cheque book at him after seeing Found Footage, and he goes full Coogan."

I'm hoping it'll be a Netflix commission - much more affordable than Sky (and less evil).

Matthew Long
3/7/2017 05:59:48 pm

I'm delighted that the funding target has been met and surpassed so quickly. Best of luck with the final ambitious-sounding episode! (Although if you intend to follow this project up with a crowd-funded movie sequel, please give me time to sell a kidney first so I can afford to contribute to that one too.)

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Mr Biffo
3/7/2017 06:57:30 pm

Don't worry. I'm knackered. This'll be yer lot for a little while...!

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