Hey - I've stopped banging on about Block Party 2016: The Teletext & Digitiser Festival. However, we do have tickets left for the evening Digi festivities. If you are considering coming - don't dally or dither. They honestly won't last forever. Plus, you'll miss out on a once-in-a-lifetime unique event. Also, in all honesty, knowing precise numbers - having never done something like this before - does help plan it.
Further news: evening tickets will get you in to the Centre for Computing History during the day - so that you can make use of their exhibits and retro machines - but we can't guarantee you access to the talks and workshops. Although, we're trying to arrange it so we run some of the panels twice, in order that everyone can get in.
Remember: Cambridge. October 1st. £10. Tickets here. Also, if you already have tickets, there's now an official Facebook event page for Block Party. Go sign up, ask questions about accommodation or travel or whatever, and virtually meet some of your fellow attendees.
Oh yes! And of course we're still taking donations on PayPal and Patreon if you'd like to help support Digitiser2000 in another way. All the relevant links to that are in the sidebar, or at the bottom of this page, if you're reading on mobile.
AND NOW THE LETTERS. 12345678910!!!!!!
Further news: evening tickets will get you in to the Centre for Computing History during the day - so that you can make use of their exhibits and retro machines - but we can't guarantee you access to the talks and workshops. Although, we're trying to arrange it so we run some of the panels twice, in order that everyone can get in.
Remember: Cambridge. October 1st. £10. Tickets here. Also, if you already have tickets, there's now an official Facebook event page for Block Party. Go sign up, ask questions about accommodation or travel or whatever, and virtually meet some of your fellow attendees.
Oh yes! And of course we're still taking donations on PayPal and Patreon if you'd like to help support Digitiser2000 in another way. All the relevant links to that are in the sidebar, or at the bottom of this page, if you're reading on mobile.
AND NOW THE LETTERS. 12345678910!!!!!!
BUZZFEED
1. What does your hair say about you?
2. What does your handwriting say about you?
3. What does your sleeping position say about you?
4. What does your choice of milkshake say about you?
5. What does your eyebrow shape say about you?
6. What do your nightmares say about you?
7. What does your beard say about you?
8. What does your eyeliner say about you?
So, I guess my question is, what are your Top 8 Buzzfeed articles?
Gaijintendo
1. What does your hair say about you?
2. What does your handwriting say about you?
3. What does your sleeping position say about you?
4. What does your choice of milkshake say about you?
5. What does your eyebrow shape say about you?
6. What do your nightmares say about you?
7. What does your beard say about you?
8. What does your eyeliner say about you?
So, I guess my question is, what are your Top 8 Buzzfeed articles?
Gaijintendo
So, what, you want one answer or eight answers? You've not been clear on this issue. Though you have reminded me that I badly need a haircut. And new eyeliner.
FUZZBEED
Pokemon Go then. It's a reskinned version of the Niantic's previous AR battery killer 'Ingress'. Even down to the extent that local landmarks in the new craze mirror those in the 2014 game by being in the same location. The second I realised this, I deinstalled it.
Also, I'm a 42 year old man rather than what I perceive to be the target audience. Twitch is what I get when I'm sleep deprived just as streaming is what happens to my eyes when I slice onions. Get off my lawn!
Ian Thompson
Pokemon Go then. It's a reskinned version of the Niantic's previous AR battery killer 'Ingress'. Even down to the extent that local landmarks in the new craze mirror those in the 2014 game by being in the same location. The second I realised this, I deinstalled it.
Also, I'm a 42 year old man rather than what I perceive to be the target audience. Twitch is what I get when I'm sleep deprived just as streaming is what happens to my eyes when I slice onions. Get off my lawn!
Ian Thompson
Press reveal to see if Chip Shop Man has anything to say about your lawn, Emma.
REVEAL:
BEAD LIPS
With a new Prime Minister comes a new Cabinet. But how would you rearrange your hypothetical cabinet of games consoles old and new into a team ready to tackle the demands of ruling the nation?
PhilWal.
With a new Prime Minister comes a new Cabinet. But how would you rearrange your hypothetical cabinet of games consoles old and new into a team ready to tackle the demands of ruling the nation?
PhilWal.
For pity's sake, Wal. Why did you have to send this in? That's the sort of question which requires some effort on my part. And I've expended that effort. I've spent far too long thinking about this. And I have concluded that I cannot come up with a sufficiently amusing satirical response. So instead of me telling you about my Games Cabinet, press reveal and I'll show it to you.
REVEAL:
How do you like that obvious joke, hmm?
LIPSALVE
You know what I like a bit of? I like a bit of binge Digi.
Sometimes I am too busy to read every night like what I like to. Then, on Friday, I Binge Digi. I like to combine the read-a-fest with binge drinking, preferably on a park bench, in a park (I have a park bench in my garage - I don't do this on that).
The articles, which make barely any sense when sober, start to become more and more meaningful as I quaff high-strength, cheap cider. By the time I'm 3 litres of Diamond White (or 2 bottles of Thunderbird Red Label) in, it all becomes clear. I understand all, everything, the totality.
Then I wake up as the local teenagers frisk me for snouts, panic, grab my copy of Digitiser2000 and run home to the wife and kids. And by then I've forgotten it all.
Jonathan Ball
You know what I like a bit of? I like a bit of binge Digi.
Sometimes I am too busy to read every night like what I like to. Then, on Friday, I Binge Digi. I like to combine the read-a-fest with binge drinking, preferably on a park bench, in a park (I have a park bench in my garage - I don't do this on that).
The articles, which make barely any sense when sober, start to become more and more meaningful as I quaff high-strength, cheap cider. By the time I'm 3 litres of Diamond White (or 2 bottles of Thunderbird Red Label) in, it all becomes clear. I understand all, everything, the totality.
Then I wake up as the local teenagers frisk me for snouts, panic, grab my copy of Digitiser2000 and run home to the wife and kids. And by then I've forgotten it all.
Jonathan Ball
I sense there's some truth to your tale, Zoe, in amidst the alcoholism whimsy. But what of the reveal-oh?
REVEAL:
VALVE SOFTWARE
If you were forced to choose between eating a human-sized meatloaf that tasted like the singer Meat Loaf, or eating the singer Meat Loaf who tasted like a meatloaf, which would you choose and why?
Please note that Meat Loaf will only taste like meatloaf if you choose the second option. If you choose the first option Meat Loaf will simply taste like the old and sweaty man that he is.
I eagerly await your response.
Dr Dagless
If you were forced to choose between eating a human-sized meatloaf that tasted like the singer Meat Loaf, or eating the singer Meat Loaf who tasted like a meatloaf, which would you choose and why?
Please note that Meat Loaf will only taste like meatloaf if you choose the second option. If you choose the first option Meat Loaf will simply taste like the old and sweaty man that he is.
I eagerly await your response.
Dr Dagless
Another one. Why are you all trying to test me so? I sat for ages in a carpark thinking about this earlier in the week. I concluded this: there are too many unanswered questions to be able to give a definitive answer.
Like, is the meatloaf-tasting Meat Loaf going to be full of guts and blood? Will I have to eat his bones? If so, I'd probably have to eat the meatloaf which tasted like Meat Loaf - though how long do I have to eat it? If it's in one go, then that isn't going to be possible. I can't - in one sitting - fit a big, fat man inside me, even though I am, myself, a big, fat man. I'M NOT A TARDIS, YOU KNOW.
I'm not a Tardis...
Like, is the meatloaf-tasting Meat Loaf going to be full of guts and blood? Will I have to eat his bones? If so, I'd probably have to eat the meatloaf which tasted like Meat Loaf - though how long do I have to eat it? If it's in one go, then that isn't going to be possible. I can't - in one sitting - fit a big, fat man inside me, even though I am, myself, a big, fat man. I'M NOT A TARDIS, YOU KNOW.
I'm not a Tardis...
WAREZ RULEZ
Just a quick one: will we ever see Bubblegun and Fartoon characters join their Digitiser cousins? Would love to see Knife and Wife comics make a come back.
Glyn Heaviside
Just a quick one: will we ever see Bubblegun and Fartoon characters join their Digitiser cousins? Would love to see Knife and Wife comics make a come back.
Glyn Heaviside
I did a couple of quick Knife & Wife sketches a few months back, and put them on Twitter. They weren't very good, mind, so I'm not going to repeat them here. But! I would like to bring it back more regularly; my other half keeps pestering me to do so. It's just a question of finding the inspiration.
If you wonder what Mr Darkside is on about, by the way, Knife & Wife was a cartoon that I created when I was 13 or 14, and it was later resurrected on a website I used to write called Bubblegun. And then it became an animated pilot for Channel 4, which was the first thing I ever had on TV - and by some measure one of the worst things I've ever written.
If you wonder what Mr Darkside is on about, by the way, Knife & Wife was a cartoon that I created when I was 13 or 14, and it was later resurrected on a website I used to write called Bubblegun. And then it became an animated pilot for Channel 4, which was the first thing I ever had on TV - and by some measure one of the worst things I've ever written.
RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
Did teletext have a canteen or did you go to the chippy every day?
Bill "Chippy" O'Chipps
Did teletext have a canteen or did you go to the chippy every day?
Bill "Chippy" O'Chipps
There was no canteen. There was a little dirty spoon cafe next door, where I used to get a bacon roll EVERY MORNING. Also, there was a snack machine, and a sandwich lady would turn up at lunchtime. And there was a coffee machine, but I never drank coffee in those days. These days, I drink a lot of coffee and rarely have a bacon sandwich. So, y'know, I guess that's just how things go sometimes.
ENGAGEMENT RING
Four things put me off #PokeMongo, even though as a regular medium-distance cyclist it may as well have been made for me:
Four things put me off #PokeMongo, even though as a regular medium-distance cyclist it may as well have been made for me:
- I lost interest in the main Pokémon series when it started basing rewards on when I would play - I lost a crop of Berries when caring for a family member. PG seems to take this concept and add 'walk around with an unlocked smartphone on display' to it.
- Whereas the main series tries to build depth around a decades-old Game Boy game's flawed battle system and add gimmicks without ever rebuilding it, PG takes elemental combat in the opposite direction to the way Battle for Wesnoth does it right.
- I lost confidence in Nintendo's free-to-start business model when they debuted it with a literal slot machine, putting their name on dopamine-chasing games of random chance where you get a few free shots then pay to try again to get the low-odds rarer rewards. I'm not spending money on virtual balls to throw after the free supply runs out, be they the Poké or Pachinko kind.
- I have a back problem that can relapse and put me in a wheelchair. I have no interest in getting invested in a 'move around' game that doesn't have an accessibility mode.
All valid points, I suppose, Wheatsheaf. Chip Shop Man makes another:
REVEAL:
RING PIECE
Nostalgia is big in games at the moment. Do you recall any smells that are inextricably linked to certain games you've played? If so, how did this connection arise? Thanks.
Stuart Lindsay
Nostalgia is big in games at the moment. Do you recall any smells that are inextricably linked to certain games you've played? If so, how did this connection arise? Thanks.
Stuart Lindsay
That's so weird. I was thinking the other day about how smells can trigger memory, and actually thought about how I have no game-related smells. Most of my smell-nostalgia is derived from sniffing books or comics; the fresh scent of a new one, or the musty aroma of one that had been in storage for a while. Also: smelling tramps. But no... games are, sadly, stink-free for me. Anyone else? I'm genuinely interested to know.
PEACE OF MIND
I went to Devon a week or so ago. On the way, I played World Of Goo on my phone (I wasn't driving). The thing that really spooked me out was some woman relieving herself at the services somewhere on the M5 motorway... on a grass embankment by the car park.
We only stopped for similar reasons but we went inside where that sort of stuff is 'meant to happen'. We got back to the car and World Of Goo had somehow made my phone reset and I'd lost all my progress.
Stupid phone.
Gaming Mill
I went to Devon a week or so ago. On the way, I played World Of Goo on my phone (I wasn't driving). The thing that really spooked me out was some woman relieving herself at the services somewhere on the M5 motorway... on a grass embankment by the car park.
We only stopped for similar reasons but we went inside where that sort of stuff is 'meant to happen'. We got back to the car and World Of Goo had somehow made my phone reset and I'd lost all my progress.
Stupid phone.
Gaming Mill
Sad story. Press reveal for another.
REVEAL:
MIND THE GAP
You were name-checked very favourably by the chaps who now run your offspring website known as GameCentral recently (linkypoos!). I wonder what you think of your partially successful progeny?
Timmypoos
You were name-checked very favourably by the chaps who now run your offspring website known as GameCentral recently (linkypoos!). I wonder what you think of your partially successful progeny?
Timmypoos
I never looked at GameCentral - or anything on Teletext - after I quit Digi. It was just all a bit too raw, frankly. Also, I didn't want to have an opinion on it, in case it was rubbish, and I didn't like it. I didn't want to be in that awkward position if anyone asked me what I thought.
But... these days I'm kind of proud that GameCentral is still going. I do look at it on the Metro site from time to time, and they're good enough to namecheck Digi occasionally. God bless them. I'm glad it has remained popular.
Good letters this week, children.
But... these days I'm kind of proud that GameCentral is still going. I do look at it on the Metro site from time to time, and they're good enough to namecheck Digi occasionally. God bless them. I'm glad it has remained popular.
Good letters this week, children.
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