DIGITISER
  • MAIN PAGE
  • Features
  • Videos
  • Game Reviews
  • FAQ

ARNOLD PALMER TOURNAMENT GOLF: A POSTHUMOUS TRIBUTE TO A MEGA DRIVE CLASSIC

26/9/2016

19 Comments

 
Picture
Arnold Palmer is dead. He was a golfer. I know that, because one of the first games I ever bought on my Mega Drive was Arnold Palmer Tournament Golf. I'd never heard of him before that, and I don't remember hearing much about him since. Until the news broke this morning that he had died.

Even the game gave little away about this golfing enigma. He featured on the box artwork, and the title screen, brandishing a meaty fist, but beyond that... he was nowhere to be seen. There wasn't even the option to play as Arnold Palmer: your character was just some anonymous guy wearing a stupid flat cap.

Of all the Arnold Palmer golf games you could imagine being made, Arnold Palmer Tournament Golf would rank among the least Arnold Palmer-y. Indeed, it probably featured the absolute bare minimum of Arnold Palmer-ness required to get away with even being called an Arnold Palmer golf game.

Sega had something of a habit of adding a token celebrity sportsman to their games, once they hit markets outside of Japan. Arnold Palmer Tournament Golf had been released in Japan as Ozaki Naomichi Super Masters - a game which contained precisely no Arnold Palmer.
Picture
MR LOAN PEDLAR
​Whether Arnold Palmer, Tommy Lasorda (baseball) or Pat Riley (basketball) ever saw or played the games, to which they allowed their names to be attached in return for some money, remains in doubt.

Sadly, we can't ask Arnold Palmer. He's dead now, you see, and his secrets go with him to the grave. He was 87, and his name was an anagram of Mr Loan Pedlar.

Until I played Arnold Palmer Tournament Golf I had never heard of birdies, or eagles, or a par, or - ha ha - bogies. I'd never played golf, barring crazy golf on summer holidays (crazy golf? Talk about overselling something - maybe if they'd shrieked and thrown hairbrushes at you while you were putting your ball towards the hole shaped like a windmill...). I wasn't a golf fan. Indeed, I wasn't a fan of sport of any stripe. Everything I know about golf is derived entirely from Arnold Palmer Tournament Golf. 

So why even buy it if I wasn't a golf fan? It was slim pickings in those early Mega Drive days. Beyond Golden Axe, I was struggling to justify the £189.99 I'd spent ordering it from Special Reserve.

Altered Beast was a travesty. Super Thunder Blade and Super Hang On hadn't been much better. Buying Arnold Palmer Tournament Golf - just as I had John Madden Football - was an act of desperation, borne from guilt. I had an infant daughter, who I should've been saving my money for, and I'd splashed out nearly £200 on a toy that I was struggling to enjoy. So... of course I had to spend more money to try and get my money's worth.

Plus, I didn't even know what sort of games I was going to like in this era of "mean machines", so anything that got a decent review was a potential purchase. I dare say that Arnold Palmer Tournament Golf had been given a 90%-ish score in C&VG.

Picture
GOLF FANTASY
Oddly, while it might seem on paper like an incongruous fit with me, I ended up really liking Arnold Palmer Tournament Golf. It was relaxing. It was easy to play.

As a result, over subsequent years I continued to flirt with golf sims, but they became increasingly more authentic and realistic.

The more hardcore they became, the harder I found it to stay engaged with them. The casual golf sim player was being pushed out, in favour of courting the dedicated fan.

There was something shamelessly arcade-y about Arnold Palmer Tournament Golf - a fact that was underlined by its famous Fantasy Zone easter egg; miss a hole 100 times, and it unlocked a level of Sega's pastel-hued shoot 'em up.

TILED FLOOR
Some years ago, I hired a golf club bar for my daughter's 18th birthday party. When I went in to pay for the booking, I hadn't noticed that the clubhouse was divided into two areas, delineated by one side being carpeted garishly, and the other having a plain tiled floor. 

Without realising I'd done anything wrong, I stepped a foot or two onto the carpeted section, and was asked by a snooty member sat at the bar to step back over onto the tiled side. I was wearing trainers, you see, and these were banned in the members area. He continued to sneer at me while I waited for the payment to go through.

Suffice to say, it didn't endear me to golfers: Arnold Palmer had always looked so friendly on the box of the Mega Drive game, but in that moment I realised I'd been sold a lie. The golf world was one of rules and privilege. A place where I am no longer welcome. Except... for that one time I was, when Arnold Palmer Tournament Golf had embraced me with a pair of light blue golf trousers.

Rest in peace, Arnold Palmer. BOGIES!

FROM THE ARCHIVE:
​A TRIBUTE TO ARCADE SHOOTING GALLERIES
GRANGE HILL: THE MOST DEPRESSING GAME EVER
10 VINTAGE GERMAN ATARI ADS EXPLAINED
19 Comments
alb
26/9/2016 12:10:58 pm

Ha! I once got chucked out of a golf club bar at a private do for not wearing a tie....on a collarless shirt.

Reply
Hoboerotica
26/9/2016 04:06:41 pm

I once got kicked out of a golf club for pouring gravy onto my "chicken in a basket" The basket was not designed for retaining gravy, you see and it went all over the floor.

Reply
Spiney O'Sullivan
26/9/2016 06:38:48 pm

I would rate golf 1/10. Less fun than Superman 64.

Reply
Gaming Mill link
26/9/2016 07:45:25 pm

I was once thrown out of a golf club bar after being caught 'getting frisky' with the barmaid who also just happened to be the wife of the resident pro.

Reply
Kelvin Green link
26/9/2016 09:12:42 pm

The first thing I thought of when I saw the news was the Mega Drive game. That probably makes me a bad person.

As does wondering what Arnold Schwarzenegger's Tournament Golf would be like.

Reply
Acid_Arrow
26/9/2016 09:24:20 pm

I was thrown out of a golf club for doing a poo in the 18th hole. It was just so inviting.

Reply
Timymopos link
26/9/2016 09:51:47 pm

If you still have access to a Wii or Gamecube I highly recommend playing Super Mario Golf. Me and the wife put hundreds of hours into that game, classic Nintendo brilliance.

Reply
Rakladtor IV
27/9/2016 02:26:44 am

Having never been ejected from a clubhouse, my worst experience at a golf club was treading in a wasp nest, getting stung multiple times on one ear and literally having wasps in my pockets.

Reply
Chris Wyatt
27/9/2016 07:49:03 am

My first golf game was the imaginatively titled Golf on the Gameboy. It features Mario, so it is kind of a prequel to Mario Golf really.

I think my family thought I was weird for wanting it, but I thought it looked cool, and it turned out to be a fun game.

On a school trip, I stupidly lent my Gameboy to someone, and some bullies got hold of it and chucked that game out the window. It was on the roof, so no chance of getting it back.

It's a common game so later I picked up a 2nd hand replacement for free, in good nick, and peace was restored.

Reply
Nocturne
27/9/2016 02:12:21 pm

I don't know when we passed the point where it was suddenly alright for us all to accept that Altered Beast on the Mega Drive was a steaming heap but I for one am glad.





RIP Arnold Palmer.

Reply
Rak IV
27/9/2016 04:15:40 pm

Altered Beast gets way more hate than it deserves. Solid arcade port, 2 player simultaneous, improvements over the arcade game. Sheesh.

Reply
Spiney O'Sullivan
27/9/2016 11:29:51 pm

What was wrong with it? I recall liking it as a kid. But then, back then I also thought Sonic the Hedgehog would be a dominant force in gaming forever...

Reply
Rak IV
28/9/2016 02:50:08 am

A factor is how the western Altered Beast allows continues, making it super easy to beat. The Asian version limits the player to one credit and is a decent challenge to finish, requiring the player to engage the game properly instead of just monging through it.

Come '91 it's a pack in, developed in '88, getting juxtaposed against Sonic and coming off as slow in comparison. Quickly beaten using continues and put away. It's understandable how a lot of people have a low opinion of it, but I bet those who came in during the sonic era would appreciate AB more had they first experienced it around 89. Certainly much better than shit like Last Battle.

Stuart
28/9/2016 12:15:54 pm

It must be the Japanese version on the Wii Virtual Console and the Megadrive Ultimate Collection on the Xbox 360, because there's no continues in either of those (although the arcade original is included in the latter, which gives you unlimited credits). For the re-releases, I wonder why us Europeans got the Japanese one rather than the original we were used to?

On the Megadrive, I remember a friend and I used a cheat to select different beasts than those allocated for each stage. We always picked the dragon for the last level because we thought it was hilarious seeing the rhino boss charging back and forth across the screen uselessly.

Rakladtor IV
28/9/2016 05:31:19 pm

Nah turns out I had that wrong, seems all regions got the same deal with AB having no continues. I was getting confused with Strider, where the Asian version doesn't allow continues

Chris
28/9/2016 10:09:26 am

I've played lots of golf games - Leaderboard, Nick Faldo's Golf, Sensible Golf, Wii Sports Golf, that other more serious Wii golf game.

I've never played any actual real life proper golf, and have no interest in doing so.

I don't know why I've played so many golf games.

I have, however, enjoyed all the golf games I've played (even Leaderboard on the Speccy, which I imagine just looks like somebody has sneezed on the screen these days)

I've also never heard of Arnold Palmer until now.

Reply
colincidence link
28/9/2016 11:46:55 pm

How do you join a golf club?
Attach the handle to the stick bit, and that bit to the head.

Reply
Chris Wyatt
29/9/2016 09:05:24 pm

I've played golf probably about twice, but last time I got about 3 birdies (albeit on an easy course). I think I might be a golfing natural but I'm yet to befriend anyone *boring* enough to play it.

Reply
Kara Van Park
3/10/2016 10:08:40 pm

I don't have any golf anecdotes.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    This section will not be visible in live published website. Below are your current settings:


    Current Number Of Columns are = 2

    Expand Posts Area =

    Gap/Space Between Posts = 12px

    Blog Post Style = card

    Use of custom card colors instead of default colors = 1

    Blog Post Card Background Color = current color

    Blog Post Card Shadow Color = current color

    Blog Post Card Border Color = current color

    Publish the website and visit your blog page to see the results

    Picture
    Support Me on Ko-fi
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    RSS Feed Widget
    Picture

    Picture
    Tweets by @mrbiffo
    Picture
    Follow us on The Facebook

    Picture

    Archives

    December 2022
    May 2022
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    November 2020
    September 2020
    July 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014


    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • MAIN PAGE
  • Features
  • Videos
  • Game Reviews
  • FAQ