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ARE THESE THE MOST PERVERTED GAMES OF ALL TIME?

7/6/2016

7 Comments

 
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Far be it for us to label an entire country as a bunch of filthy perverts, but it's pretty apparent that Japanese culture has a very different attitude to "the matters of the rude" than we do in the West. Indeed, it seems that much of what is considered acceptable over there would be borderline illegal in the UK, and often with good reason.

We all know about the bouncy breast physics in games like Dead or Alive - but what of the games that are considered too esoterically lewd and dodgy to ever be released outside of Japan?

Here we round up just a few of them...
CHO ANIKI KYUUKYOKO MUTEKU GINGA SAIKYOU OTOKO (PlayStation - 1995)
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The very definition of homoerotic, the Cho Aniki series - the first three games were released in the same year - were side-scrolling shoot 'em ups.

Surreal and bizarre, the series reached peak oddness with Kyuukyoko Muteku Ginga Saikyou Otoko (roughly translating as "Super Big Brother - The Ultimate Most Powerful Man in the Milky Way").

Backgrounds and enemies were digitised sprites comprised of muscular, naked men (such as the pneumatic monstrosity above, or a wall of bare boys kneeling on one another's backs). Notably, your ship would transform between stages, sometimes depicted as a spinning nude in tiny pants, or - for some reason - God: the most super Big Brother there is.
SUMMERTIME HIGH SCHOOL: A YOUNG MAN'S NOTES - HOW A NEW EXCHANGE STUDENT LIKE MYSELF RAN INTO HIS CHILDHOOD FRIEND ON THE SCHOOL TOUR, THEN FOR SOME REASON BECAME SUPER-POPULAR WITH THE GIRLS FOR HIS DAILY SCOOPS ON THE SCHOOL PHOTOGRAPHY CLUB EVEN THOUGH HE ONLY TAKES PANTY SHOTS, AND WHAT HE THINKS AS HE GOES ON DATES DURING HIS SUMMER OF ISLAND SCHOOL LIFE. (PlayStation 4/PlayStation 3 - 1995)
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Probably the game with the longest title of all time, there's little point debating whether or not Summertime High School crosses a line: it does.

Described by its developer, D3, as an "open world high school love adventure", it happens to be an open-world high school love adventure which stars a wretched pervert.

Set on an open-world island, the main character is set tasks by a local "journalism" club, which typically requires him to take photographs of young girls' underwear. Sometimes, knocking them to the ground would reveal your target's knicks, or you could slither between the legs of someone while they were chatting, or hanging out at the beach in a tiny bikini.

One token concession to morality and legality was made: if you got caught, you would be taken into police custody, or sent to see the school counsellor. The jaunty title song, soundtrack, and cutesy graphics watered down what is - whichever way you look at it - one creepy and shady game.
​
Nevertheless, it was no niche release, and proved to be a sizeable hit in Japan. And yes, there is a turtle coming out of the girl's bottom.
MUSCLE MARCH (Wii - 2010)
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Appearing on the Wii Store in 2010, Muscle March found the player chasing a thief, who had stolen his friend's bodybuilding protein.

In gameplay terms, it resembled the TV game show Hole In The Wall, albeit with less Dale Winton, the mahogany hunk; the thief would smash through buildings, and the player was required to contort themselves - with the help of the Wiimote and nunchuck - to fit the shape the thief left in his wake. 

Though not all the characters were oiled muscle men in tiny posing pouches - there was also a female bodybuilder and, inexplicably, a "cheerful polar bear" - most of them were... with their toned buttocks jiggling salaciously as they ran after their quarry.

Released by Namco, it's a long way from Pac-Man. 
CATHERINE (Xbox 360/PlayStation 3 - 2011)
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A puzzle platformer with one of the most original premises of any game ever, the player assumes the role of one Vincent Brooks, who begins suffering from surreal nightmares after his girlfriend, Katherine, begins to talk of them settling down. When he begins an affair with a mysterious girl called Catherine, the nightmares become more intense, guilt-ridden, and bizarre - before Catherine is revealed to be a horrible succubus.

As each platform stage ends, the player is required to make moral decisions which affect the path of the story - as Vincent is confronted with the news that Katherine has missed her period and may be pregnant, her attempted suicide, and managing his alcohol intake (which affects his performance in the levels).

​Not quite as shameless as some of the other games listed here - it is nevertheless shows a boldness on the part of Japanese game developers to tackle subjects that the West typically shies away from. 
VENDETTA (Mega Drive - 1991)
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A traditional side-scrolling beat 'em up, in the Final Fight/Streets of Rage mould, the Japanese release would be censored before making it to the West.

Though beat 'em ups aren't strangers to homosexual characters - traditionally insensitively depicted as weird bosses (see Streets of Rage 3's outrageously camp and preening Ash, for one example) - Vendetta is the only documented beat 'em up where the character is repeatedly dry-humped by leather-clad oddballs.

​Weirder still, when left to their own devices, these bare-chested opponents are so overcome with lust that they will also attempt to hump streetlights into submission.
THE HOUCHI PLAY (Xbox 360 - 2012)
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Potentially even creepier than Summertime High School, The Houchi Play casts the player as a 56 year-old married sex pest, who must creep up on "women" who are "dressed-up" as school girls, nurses and geishas in a "cosplay bar".

Why? Because he gets sexual gratification from being verbally abused by them. Which sounds like an attempt to disguise the dubious nature of his actions.

It's basically the schoolyard game of statues as played by an ageing degenerate: if your prey turns around, you character has to stand stock-still. Drinking alcohol gives him the courage to move faster. And if that isn't sending out the wrong message to easily influenced idiots... 
GAL GUN (Xbox 360/PlayStation 3 - 2011)
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An on-rails shoot 'em up set in a high school, the player assumes the role of a regular school boy who gets shot with Cupid's arrow, making him irresistible to girls.

His aim is to find true love before the effects of Cupid's magic wears off. And he does this by keeping wave after wave of girls at bay by shooting them with "pheromones" - which causes them to drop to their knees in a sort of loved-up stupor. Camera angles make the most of short shorts and shorter skirts - because looking at your teenage classmates' knickers is acceptable when one is looking for true love, apparently.

In short; Jesus, Japan...!
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
10 TERRIBLE RETRO "SEX" GAMES
CHART CAT: 10 Most Sensual Game Characters
6 BIZARRE JAPANESE ARCADE GAMES


7 Comments
Hamptonoid
7/6/2016 12:37:48 pm

I thought catherine was a brilliant game. A bit odd, admittedly, but I liked it...and I'm not some demented sex pervert, honest.

Reply
CdrJameson
7/6/2016 07:49:39 pm

Catherine is widely available over here. I liked it too. Although the platforming was irritating at times, it was worth it for a game where you have to play as the ineffectual Vincent, mostly in his pants.
And the unusual nature of the dream-opponents.
And the odd confessional booth that seemed to also be a rocket-powered toilet-lift (although not being Catholic, possibly all confessionals are like that?)

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Wicked Eric
7/6/2016 12:47:51 pm

I almost have a grudging admiration for how gleefully perverted that pantyshot game is.

Reply
Damon
7/6/2016 01:43:08 pm

How did RapeLay not make this list?

Reply
Mr Biffo
7/6/2016 02:09:58 pm

I believe I've covered it before...

Reply
Paul Jon Millions
7/6/2016 02:26:29 pm

Cho Aniki has the best art direction of any series. It should be what games are all ripping off to this day, instead of hiding the homoeroticism beneath layers of boring space armour.

Was always amused/horrified by the offensive gay stereotypes in Streets of Rage 3 and Vendetta. "LOL look at these lads in their leathers and moustaches and camp mannerisms!" as if the designers are oblivious to the fact all the other characters in scrolly fighters are basically muscled-up leatherdaddies and scene clones as well. Though maybe this was them admitting it in a crass, unsubtle way?

Mike Haggar is pretty much one of Tom's Men.

Reply
neil
8/6/2016 03:54:49 pm

the most read article of the week?

Reply



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