In which Obi-Wan "Ben" Kenobi pranks his flatmate...
In this special edition of Digitiser Makes, we show you how to build your own VR headset from things you'll find at home - with another unplanned appearance from Mr Biffo's Neighbour. If you enjoy this video, please share, like, and subscribe for more.
Nothing warms the heart like the smiling, happy face of a child. Be they frolicking on a slide, splashing in a gutter, eating worms, or pretending to kill one another with toy weapons, there is no greater balm than the sound of a child's laughter
And so, as our gift to you, we once again celebrate the profound artistry that is children's face painting. Enjoy, friends.
It has taken us all year, but we think we're finally on the verge of sorting out Digi2000 t-shirts.
Currently, we're looking at doing an initial wave of two designs - the logo shirt on the left (or a version of it - that's just a prototype), and a design featuring one of our stupid slogans.
If the first run of shirts sells well, we're planning further waves which will include character shirts, and other Digi-related gubbins. We're also thinking about doing desk calendars for Christmas, if there's interest in those. If we can get the first batch of shirts up and running soon, we're even hoping to have some with us to give away at the Play Expo next month.
But now? Now we want to know what you wish to have on the second of our first two shirts. Please click below to register your vote!
So, Mario is 30. Nintendo's iconic bouncing plumber has reached his third decade. But how much do we know about him when he isn't having adventures?
We know he's a plumber. We know he's Italian-American, and likes coins, and has a brother called Luigi... but that's about it.
Mario very kindly agreed to take us through an average day in his life - at last shedding light on this enigma of video gaming.
So here's a thing. Those of you lovely people who have been with Digitiser2000 since the start - and we've been going for almost a year now, lest we forget - will have noticed a subtle shift in recent months.
In short... we stopped trying to compete with the major games websites. Basically... we no longer run games news, which we were at one point trying - and mostly failing - to keep up with.
Given that we're essentially a 1.5 man/woman operation, there was no way to compete anyway, so it was stupid of me to even bother trying. We don't have a budget outside of our Patreon/Paypal donations, and much as I'd love to do Digi2000 full-time - and short of somebody offering me a full-time wage for it - I do like my job, and I've got a responsibility to pay the bills.
But I think Digi2000 now is more true to itself now - it was always set up to be a thing that scratched an itch for me, one that wasn't getting scratched elsewhere... get it out of my system, so my other work benefited. Digi2000 lets me write how I want to write - amuse and enlighten myself first, and hope others enjoy it too. A sharp increase in our readership over the last month suggest it's a better strategy going forward anyway.
So. Here's what I want to say: in the last week there have been several gaming news stories which have dropped my jaw with their sheer banality. Am I out of touch, or is much of what gets reported on when it comes to games just, like, really, really, really boring?
Word up! Freak shows haven't gone anywhere. Now we just pretend they're something else, like Most Embarrassing Bodies, or Benefits Street, or BBC3.
We might be shocked by this gallery of Victorian freak show posters, but at least there's a weird sort of honesty about them; "Here are some people who look different from you, so that you can gawp at them".
Times haven't changed all that much - we've just become better at lying to ourselves... Wait. That sounded rather sincere and cynical didn't it? Maybe we've sobered up at last. Dear god... we're starting to feel things again! Quickly, mother - the gin!
Who doesn't love a monkey? They're literally nature's cheekiest imps. The way they scurry and scamper... why, we could watch them all day going about their silly business.
But what if they weren't going about their silly business? What if they were dead, and someone had stuffed their skin with wire, and sawdust, and stuck a branch up one of their holes, and then their fur and skin started to deteriorate, to slither away like sheets of damp fleece? Not so cheeky anymore.
Here are at least 15 monkeys of the sort we have just described. We make no apologies for the monstrous prospects that shall be absorbed into your subconscious, should you choose to view the remainder of this article. You have been cautioned...
The whole country is gripped with Corbynmania, as the new Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn overturns decades of tradition by barking during the National Anthem, rolling around on the graves of fallen soldiers, and dragging himself around like a dog with an itchy bottom in the middle of Prime Minister's Questions.
Allow us to add further to the mystique of this singular politician, by presenting a selection of images of him mistakenly accompanied by random quotes from notable video games. He seems like he has a good sense of humour, so we're sure he'll see the funny side.
Last night the BBC premiered The Gamechangers, a drama apparently aimed at sexing up the making of Rockstar Games' controversial Grand Theft Auto San Andreas.
Even before the show's screening it was courting the ire of the game's makers - with Rockstar threatening the BBC with a writ, banning it from using footage of its games.
After the showing, Rockstar's official Twitter account sent the BBC the following message: "Was Basil Brush busy? What exactly is this random, made up bollocks?".
Others on Twitter have since come out to lampoon the show's Hollywoodisation of game development, factual distortions, and other liberties. Here are just 10 things The Gamechangers got utterly wrong.
We've all known that bloke haven't we - the one who knew someone who knew someone who can get dodgy DVDs?
When Mr Biffo was a youth, his local dodgy video man used to drive down his street in a special little van. He was like Santa Claus, if Santa Claus was suave, and a criminal. Once, Mr Biffo saw the dodgy video man delivering bread for Warburtons - evidently his day job - and the magic was dispelled.
Alas, the bootleg DVD market must surely be in freefall now, with the advent of illegal downloading. And that's a real big shame, because no bootleg DVDs means no bootleg DVD artwork, of the sort we highlight for you here... in this lissssst.
Hello. I'm a popular comedian called The Man's Daddy. Apologies for my shaky handwriting, but I can't stop trembling: I've been gripped with existential terror ever since the election of new Labour leader Jeremy "Beadle" Corbyn.
I heard that he presents a threat to our national security, economic security, and my family's security, and wipes his bottom on Remembrance Day poppies, and uploads the videos to a Tumblr account jointly run by ISIS and the Provisional IRA and a Dracula.
The only way I know how to cope with the imminent destruction of our way of life is by writing excellent jokes, mocking and undermining Corbyn's wayward, dangerous, lefty ideology. Please assist my campaign further by laughing at these jokes, and writing to your local MP describing your laugh. Anyway, here are the jokes, ok? Ok then. Bye. Yeah - bye. See you soon. Ok. Bye? Bye. I hope my jokes are ok, yeah.
Today's the day that billions of Destiny fans get their hands on The Taken King - a massive expansion that promises to rewrite the rules of the much-loved online shooter, and open the game up to those who were originally put off by its relentless grind, dull storyline, and repetitive nonsense.
Here's Digi2000's ultimate and exhaustive guide to all the changes you can expect.
Nowadays, most people pretend to be too mature and sensible to be amused by the scatalogical.
Those of us who do revel in the comedic potential of, say, holding down your own father and trumping onto his eyelids, are seen as juvenile, puerile, somehow less sophisticated.
And yet, a few hundred years ago, farting was seen as such a legitimate form of entertainment that there were even professional farters employed by royal courts.
Most of us have heard of the great French flatulist Le Petomaine, who died in 1945, but go back even further and you'll find the likes of Roland le Fartere entertaining King Henry II (and making a good enough living from it to be able to afford a 30-acre estate in Suffolk), and references to "musical farters" in the book City of God - written by no less than Saint Augustine himself.
William Langland's 14th Century allegorical poem, Piers Plowman, even appears to rank farting as a valued social attribute akin to playing the harp: "As for me, I can neither drum nor trumpet, nor tell jokes, nor fart amusingly at parties, nor play the harp".
Indeed, farting - and other bodily functions - can often be found illustrating medieval manuscripts. Here's a whole bunch of them (NSFW, if your employer is likely to be appalled by mostly bad drawings of monks having a poo).
We realised the other day, while playing Mad Max, that the modern equivalent of the platform game is the open world, UbiSoft-style map-mopper (we really do have to come up with a better name for the genre).
Once upon a time - in the wake of Super Mario Bros. world-swaddling success - every other game was a me-too platformer with a cartoon lead.
Now, every other game finds you riding around huge environments looking for stuff and raiding bases, while playing as a gritty male lead. It seems to be the default genre for most major releases... and just as everyone got a bit blasé about platform games towards the end of their golden period, so too we find ourselves starting to suffer giant map fatigue.
Regrettably, we're even sensing a hint of that ennui setting in with Metal Gear Solid V now - arguably the pinnacle of the genre, but still of the genre regardless.
However, while the 2D platformer fell out of fashion, Nintendo and Mario creator Shigeru Miyamoto never really gave up on it - continuing to find new ways to contort the rules they had laid down. And now? Now it is your turn to wear the perfumed skin of Mr Miyamoto.
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