Given that eating is probably the greatest pleasure in life, I rue the fact I'm not offered more edible items for review. There's a depressing irony in that when I did finally get offered something to eat, it was a flavourless pill of some sort.
Brainzyme was promised to us as a product that is "scientifically proven to support cognition and concentration" and is "perfect for gamers and those who need to focus on games for long periods of time such as pro gamers or games reviewers".
Frankly, such a miracle product couldn't have come at a better time for me. The last couple of months have been relentless work-wise, as I rushed to finish half a dozen work commitments, keep Digitiser2000 afloat, shoot the remaining bits and bobs for Found Footage, and prepare for the finale. As is always the way when you come out the other side of a very full-on period, my energy and adrenaline levels were utterly depleted last week, and then - inevitably - I started to get ill.
What I really needed was some sort of enzyme which promised to help me "get smart" and "get more done" and reduce my tiredness. Step forward Brainzyme.
Saturday morning, my first proper day off in months - with said tiredness in full effect - I knocked back three Brainzyme pills on an empty stomach as instructed, and waited to turn into an all-conquering monster of energy and productivity, with veins popping on my head, as fire erupted from my nostrils, and I solved equations and punched through walls while running through Roget's Thesaurus from memory.
Though to be honest I'd have been happy if I'd just turned into someone who had the energy to pick up a joypad and play a few games for the first time in ages.