It can't have just been me who felt the fabric of reality tremble slightly upon the news that the proposed Tetris movie has now been expanded into a trilogy. It's the sort of askew Hollywood thinking that is beyond parody. Well... almost.

Here's how producer Larry Kasanoff broke it to Empire magazine: "The story we conceived is so big. This isn’t us splitting the last one of our eight movies in two to wring blood out of the stone. It’s just a big story. We want the story to be a surprise, but it’s a big science-fiction movie. 

"We’re not going to have blocks with feet running around the movie, but it’s great that people think so. It sets the bar rather low! I came up with the idea as I was thinking about Tetris and the theme of creating order out of chaos."

He concluded: "I guarantee you it’s not what you think.”

Kasanoff might be familiar to some of you as the producer of the Mortal Kombat: Conquest TV series, and as the director of straight-to-DVD animated epic Foodfight!...

It was never, ever, my plan to create something which became as popular as Digitiser. I'm humbled that people loved it. I'm humbled when people say they like my work today. I feel privileged and blessed. 

In a way, I'm as much a fan of Digitiser as you are. I loved it, I loved working on it, and it's back now because of that love - yet it's a two-way thing. It wouldn't be here now if we didn't all love it, or at least really like it. You and me both. Unless you're someone who doesn't love it, in which case... why are you even reading this? Go away.

I know that might risk sounding weird, or egotistical, or arrogant, but it's not meant that way. I mean, for one thing, I suspect I probably love Digi in a slightly different way to you, for rather different reasons. It has a different meaning for me. 

It might be coincidental, it might not, but the times in my life when I've felt most grounded and secure were the times when I had Digitiser or Digitiser2000. 

In-between those two points, things went a bit wrong, and so did I, and I had to go away to sort all that out. And that's what this is about: how sometimes having a direct mainline to the public can be the worst possible thing for an individual, whether you're a YouTuber, journalist, or games developer... How deeply vulnerable it can make you.

So, earlier this week I offended Dino Dini and his fans, and yesterday Jeff Minter - creator of such legendary original works as Attack of the Mutant Camels, Return of the Mutant Camels, and Revenge of the Mutant Camels, decided to have a cheeky little pop at me on Twitter.

I don't know why. Maybe it's because, 20 years ago, I suggested that some of his games might've been - *ahem* - "inspired" by some other games. But that's okay. It's good to hold grudges.

If this week has taught me anything, it's one thing: veteran game designers are incredibly touchy, they have a rabid fanbase, no ability to laugh at themselves, and that criticising them is fantastic for Digitiser2000's hits. In this instance, it seems as if the only responsible thing to do - because there's nothing more entertaining or dignified than middle aged men having a public spat - is to insult some more of them.

In this time of great uncertainty and negativity, we all need something to cling to. And for me it's the hits! 

Alright... I'm going to say it, because nobody else seems willing to go there, but... Daisy Ridley's a bit, well, sort of not that good, right? Or, at least, a bit wrong for Rey... (he says charitably).

I mean, we all love The Force Awakens and that - and we need to love it, after the Prequels - so I can understand there being some sort of collective denial. Certainly, she's sweet and nice, and gets better as the film goes along, and she's not quite Mannequin Skywalker bad, but... well... y'know. She's borderline being a bit sort of rubbishy. A bit shit.

It's not just me who thinks that is it? Please tell me it's not just me. Please tell me you're not all going to look at me, and cluck your teeth, and go "Don't be mean to her - she has a sweetness and gentle vulnerability, and we're not letting a bully like you bring her down." 

I know you won't like me criticising her in this way, because you're the big, brave, protector of poor, defenceless, vulnerable, young women, and I can hear the hackles of your rescuing tendency going up from here.

Has any console add-on ever been as big as the console it appears on? Suffice to say, Sony will certainly be keeping its flippers crossed for PlayStation VR, which launches in October - especially given that Microsoft has given up on its much-derided Kinect.

The history of the games industry is littered with the discarded, barren, husks of good intentions and bad ideas. Join us now as we step upon this carpet of flaking shells. A-crunch-a-crunch-crunch.

So here's a thing. When I reviewed Kick Off Revival - sorry, Dino Dini's Kick Off Revival - at the weekend, it was entirely in good faith.

​I don't always bother with sports games, but I bought it assuming it'd be an arcade-y, retro-tinged, easy-to-play, old school, football game - precisely the sort of football game that somebody like me, who doesn't really enjoy the sportio of footballio, would like.

It was only once I started playing that it all came flooding back - a testament, perhaps, to how faithfully it recaptures the spirit of the the series. I'd forgotten how, almost 30 years ago, I'd played Kick Off, and not understood the fuss. In fact, I'd actively disliked it.

At the time, I blamed myself, obviously. I mean, I do that a lot. The fact that I didn't like a game, which had received so much acclaim, was probably my fault for not liking football.

And because I didn't like football, I didn't really follow everything that subsequently happened between Kick Off and Sensible Soccer - the full extent of which I only really learned over the past few days, when people started telling me to brace myself, because I'd given Kick Off a bad review...

Tickets are now on sale for Block Party 2016: The Teletext and Digitiser Festival! Taking place on Saturday October 1st, at the wonderful Centre for Computing History in Cambridge - a magical place full of old computers and consoles - it'll be an intimate day of teletext and Digitiser nostalgia and fun.

Due to availability, we're only able to offer a limited number of tickets to the daytime workshops and panels, which will have a focus on the broader world of teletext. However, day tickets will also grant access to the evening event, which will offer hours of Digitiser-related madness - plus special guests.

Buy your tickets now!

The provisional schedule is as follows:

11am - 4pm: Teletext workshops and demonstrations. These include:

TeletextR Podcast Live 
Attend a live recording of the Teletextr podcast, the internet’s premier (and only) teletext podcast. Who knows who might pop along?

Teletext Designers Panel 
Just how do you make a teletext page? Can you make my own? Well, wonder no more, for the teletext artists are here to explain all. Dan Farrimond, Steve "Horsenburger" Horsley, and myself - Paul "Mr Biffo" Rose - will be answering your questions.

Teletext Time Machine Recovery Demo
Capturing teletext pages from VHS and Betamax is, amazingly, entirely possible. Bring your old tapes and see what gems are hidden in the VBI signal, as teletext archeologist Jason Robertson presses reveal.

In addition, we'll have a gallery of teletext pages, vintage editions of Digitiser, and an interactive Bamboozle for you to play around with - and lots more. Plus! Drop in to the Teletext Block Party booth for a sandwich, a chat, and a live teletext editing session.

4-5pm: Break

5.30pm - 10pm: The Digitiser Spectacular!

5.30pm:
Doors open for evening events.

6pm - 7pm: Screening
A screening of what? Whatever it is... you won't want to miss it, probably.

7pm - 9pm: The Ultimate Digitiser Panel-Me-Do
Special guests Violet Berlin, Tim "Mr Hairs" Moore, and Gavin "Mr Udders" Lambert, join myself and our host, top stand-up comedian Chris Coltrane, for two hours of interactive talks about all things Digitiser.

9pm - 10pm: Secret!
What will this be? All we can say is that it'll be the Digitiser dream/nightmare you always wanted to experience.

10pm: Pub!
Venue TBC, join us at a nearby hostelry for a nightcap and nude drinking games.

​All events and guests are subject to availability, and to be confirmed.

FURTHER INFORMATION
Click here for tickets.
Click here for hotels near the venue.
Click here for details of how to get there.
Additional details will be announced closer to the event. If you have any questions, please email us here.

If for any reason you are unable to attend, please let us know at the earliest possible convenience, as there may be others who would like your ticket.

Not every game can be the biggest game of all time. Indeed, many games don't even have the luxury of being the second or third biggest game. Some of them do this thing: really badly. 

Here are 10 you might've forgotten were a ruddy great flop.

Dreadful old people... you remember Kick Off don't you? Released at the dirty-end of the 1980s, for the Amiga and Atari ST - before being ported to everything else, one way or another - it was the connoisseur's football game. 

To be honest, I was always more of a Sensi Soccer boy. But... y'know, for a few years there, Kick Off was the football game for the discerning. Obviously, the few times I tried to play it, I found the damn thing impossible to control, and gave up... but that's me. If something's difficult, I find it best not to persevere.

​And this is why the floor of my home is littered with the discarded pieces from jigsaw puzzles, ripped-up sudoku books, and musical instruments. 

It's possibly fair to suggest that part of Kick Off's popularity was its branding. It wasn't just Kick Off... it was, we were told often, Dino Dini's Kick Off. Not anybody else's. Somehow, we all knew it was the Kick Off that Dino Dini done. Yes, that's right: THE Dino Dini. You know: the Dino Dini who made the game Dino Dini's Kick Off.

Dat's not all Dino Dini done dough. In the five years after Dino Dini's Kick Off, Dino Dini done Dino Dini's Player Manager, Dino Dini done Dino Dini's Kick Off 2, Dino Dini done Dino Dini's GOAL!, and Dino Dini done Dino Dini's Soccer. 

That extensive and diverse CV has given Dino Dini (it's short for "Dinosaur Dinisaur") the right to finally - almost 30 years after the first Kick Off - receive the recognition he always deserved. Kick Off Revival is not just Kick Off Revival. It is - as the series always should've been branded - truly, trademarkedly, Dinosaur Dinisaur's Kick Off Revival.

My mum, dad, sisters, nephews, nieces, brother-in-law, and cousins all voted Leave. As far as I can tell, pretty much the only members of my family to vote in favour of Remain were me, my partner, and my three daughters. Ever the black sheep, I have now tarred my closest loved ones with the same sticky brush. 

This EU Referendum was a nasty, nasty campaign. It divided us more than any other issue I've seen in my lifetime. From many on the Remain side there was an unpleasant sense of haughtiness, and the sense I got from many Leave voters was anger. They were angry at how they saw their country changing, angry at feeling powerless, not having a voice, and angry for being called racist, or stupid, or ignorant, by condescending "left-wing intellectuals". 

If the goal of the Remain campaign was to make their opponents entrench their position by patronising them, then good work.

This is a win for the disenfranchised, for those who feel they've lost control of their lives, who wanted to hit back at a sneering establishment, who they felt didn't have their interests at heart, who they didn't feel understood them.

"Decent, ordinary, people", the awful, anything but ordinary and decent, Nigel Farage has called them this morning, and... much as it pains me to admit... he's sort of got a point. 

However, the win for Leave is also a win for Farage, Gove, Johnson... rich white men, who mostly have only their own interests at heart; the very definition of the sort of establishment figures that many on the Leave side claimed to despise.

Sonic the Hedgehog will always be inextricably linked with Digitiser, in my mind. The first event Mr Hairs and I ever attended was the launch of Sonic 2, at Hamleys toy store in London.

On our first day on air, following the index page, the first thing on the first page of the first section was a large graphic of Sonic - an attempt to assure readers that we could be every bit as visual as print mags.

And then, of course, we upset an enormous number of Sega fans because we dared to give Sonic 3 a mere 72% score - at a time when all major releases were all supposed to receive a minimum of 90%, by law.

I even stole liberally from Doctor Robotnik when it came to finding an antagonist for Turner The Worm, the teletext cartoon strip what I wrote and drew.

By the time I stumbled into Digitiser, I was already a fan of the 'hog. I couldn't afford the game when it first came out - on this very day, 25 years ago - but I'd read about it. I'd seen the screenshots. I had a friend who'd seen it running on a stall at Wembley Market, and pumped him so hard for information that he suffered a collapsed bowel.

​I kept asking whether it really was as good-looking as it had been in the magazines. And get a load of this information: it actually was.

You don't hear as much about games piracy as you used to. It's still a thing, probably, but the industry certainly doesn't bang on about it as much as it did back in the 80s and 90s. Back then, we were informed that the scale of piracy was such that it added 50p to the price of every game, and that software pirates were worse than murderers. 

Consequently, publishers experimented with ways to make life difficult for these social degenerates, coming up with ingenious and increasingly desperate solutions. Here are just a few of them.