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the digitiser friday letters page

31/5/2019

10 Comments

 
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It's Friday, kids! This weekend, young Larry Bundy Jr makes his comeback to the Digi Channel, after wall-to-wall Biffo and Gannon for the past weeks.

We're both still in the latest videos, mind - which drops, as they always do, at 2pm Friday afternoon. So, depending on when you read this - it might already be live! Imagine!

It's going to be a busy few months in the Digiverse; we've got a couple of months' worth of videos in the bag, waiting to be unleashed, Gannon and Eli have Cheapshow as an ongoing concern, we'll be preparing for Digitiser Live, appearing on stage at Steve McNeil's Video Game Game Show Show on June 18th, getting DVDs, t-shirts and whatnot ready for backers (once we've filmed the live show), Gannon's off to the Ghostbusters fan convention in LA to host a panel, and then we'll be moving towards whatever it is we end up doing with Digitiser The Show Series 2. 

And I'm possibly looking at doing a podcast. 

As always, it's because of your support that we're able to do all of these things. We hope that, in the future, we can dedicate even more time to them - but we can only do that if we continue to grow. Which we are, steadily, but even with a fanbase as passionate as this one, we can only get so far.

So, if you like what we do you can always support us on Patreon (and get exclusive blogs and early access to videos), but the lifeblood is really going to be getting bums on seats/eyes on videos/this site. So, as ever... if you can do anything to recommend us to new people... it would mean a lot.

Something that we're going to be looking at is doing some collabs with other YouTubers, which might bring some new people into the fold.

For whatever reason, even though we're not the biggest channel, people always seem keen to slum it on Digi, but it'd be nice to know who you'd like to see make an appearance on the channel. Maybe you can even put in a good word for us. We love Slope and Kim Justice et al, but UK retro gaming is a bit of a bubble, so we're going to have to try and break outside of that.


​If you'd like to appear here, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone, or you've got a picture of a bin you wish to share, please send your filthy emails to this place here: digitiser2000@gmail.com​​​​​​

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14 TERRIBLE ALBUM COVERS THAT COULD BE TERRIBLE GAME COVERS

30/5/2019

18 Comments

 
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It is well established that the game covers of yore weren't always great works of art.

Indeed, many of them appeared to have been either put together from clip-art by a four-year old, or scrawled in crayon by a smelly GCSE art student, or someone who got a cheap airbrush for Christmas. 

However, the same thing could be said of the musical world too; for every Unknown Pleasures or The Velvet Underground & Nico, there's a... well, there's a load like these - which appear to fall in the intersection of the Venn diagram of covers that would work just as well for old games as they would for terrible albums.

Behold this thing of which I speak!

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REVIEW: ANTSTREAM (BETA)

29/5/2019

14 Comments

 
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I've spoken before about how I was never big into pirated games as a kid. Maybe I'm just better than everyone else, or maybe I like looking down my nose at people, or maybe I'm just burdened with an overabundance of empathy, but piracy never sat right with me.

Actually, maybe it's just that I like to comfort myself with the thought of all my former schoolmates going to Hell when they die - if they haven't already...

​LOL!!!!!!

I'm not going to lie; of course I've played emulated games, but only when there was no alternative. There have been so many lost, obscure, games that I never thought I'd get to play in any sort of official capacity, it felt like I wasn't doing any harm. You know: like eating some chips out of a bin.

But now... step forwards Antstream.

Streaming is the future of gaming, but Antstream also believes it's the past; this new service, which went live to backers yesterday, is a retro gaming streaming service, featuring hundreds of officially-licensed old games - some more esoteric than others.

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RARE NINTENDO ULTRA MACHINE TOY!

28/5/2019

1 Comment

 
Biffo and Gannon get to grips with the rare Nintendo Ultra Machine or Slugger Mate - a baseball batting toy released in 1967. The inevitable ball jokes abound!
1 Comment

13 GAMES TO GET FOR YOUR OCULUS QUEST

28/5/2019

6 Comments

 
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I can feel it... I'm becoming a VR convert. With its lack of wires, and almost complete lack of motion sickness, the Oculus Quest is proving to be the hardware that finally convinces me that VR can take off. I mean, it's actually a bit scary how much I'm enjoying it. I actually get excited to play on it, and that hasn't happened to me with games in a very long time. 

CUT TO 10 YEARS LATER:

A bloated and sickly-looking Mr Biffo is strapped into a VR bodysuit and helmet, cleaning his groin with an empty crisp packet on the end of a pencil.

Here are 13 apps that you should consider getting for the Quest. Why 13 and not a nice round number? I would've done more, but I need to go upstairs for a poo!

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ELECTRONIC VIRTUAL HORSE RACING!

27/5/2019

1 Comment

 
Biffo and Gannon's attempt to review an electronic horse racing game gets off to an explosive start when Biffo almost sets himself on fire for some reason - and rapidly goes downhill from there...
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THE DIGITISER FRIDAY LETTERS PAGE

24/5/2019

3 Comments

 
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It is now less than two months until Digitiser Live, which is very exciting. If you're going, I recommend you getting there early (more on that below) and making sure you grab your drinks, and take your seats as soon as you can, because the pre-show show will be something of a treat for fans of Digi, Found Footage and Biffovision combined.  

I can also announce that the brilliant Sooz Kempner is one of our special guests on the night. I saw her recently at Steve McNeil's Video Game Game Show Show (which Larry, Gannon, Ashens and I will be appearing at next month), and aside from being incredibly funny, she's a massive games fan. Particularly of Sonic The Hedgehog. You can expect to see her take part in a certain Sonic-themed... something...

In other news... I hope you're all now subscribed to the Digi YouTube channel. If not, head over there immediately, as you won't want to miss this weekend's video... Trust me on this...


If you'd like to appear here, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone, please send your dank emails to this place here: digitiser2000@gmail.com​​​​​​

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REVIEW: VADER IMMORTAL - EPISODE 1 (Oculus Quest)

23/5/2019

9 Comments

 
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I'm going to state this upfront; I've got a really bad back.

That has nothing to do with Vader Immortal, but everything to do with how I'm getting on with my Oculus Quest. Several hours on the thing yesterday, playing the likes of Superhot and Space Pirate Trainer - both of which required a degree of ducking and weaving - has buggered up my coccyx. 

Oh, the joys of middle-aged gaming in the 21st Century. Also: ha ha - "buggered up my coccyx"!!!

For all the pain I'm in - and it's quite a lot of pain, but I don't need your sympathy thanks (I take my dopamine in a different form) - it's testament to the immersive qualities of the Quest that I didn't even notice I was actually doing some sort of exercise.

Albeit by moving my body in a way that it clearly didn't want to be moved.

"Oh, why's he whinging about his back? Just get to the review FFS."

It hurts, alright?!?! Plus, wiping my bottom later is going to be a painful chore.

Furthermore, I'm most surprised that I'm able to use the headset for extended periods without getting nauseous. Even my wife played on it at length last night, and usually she only has to turn the page of a magazine to get motion sickness.

​Fortunately, most of Vader Immortal Episode 1 is relatively sedate - a creepy, atmospheric, interactive slow-burn, that we're being told is now an official part of the increasingly overwhelming Star Wars canon - and you're able to get through the first part of this three-part series in one sitting/standing.

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REAL FEEL ELECTRONIC TENNIS!

22/5/2019

1 Comment

 
In a new low, Biffo and Gannon barely take a look at Tiger's Real Feel Tennis electronic game - and make you an offer that you'll probably want to refuse...
1 Comment

REVIEW: OCULUS QUEST

22/5/2019

16 Comments

 
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I've not been shy of expressing that I think virtual reality is flawed at its very core.

It doesn't matter how good it gets, the fundamental idea prevents it from ever becoming the society-consuming technology we've seen in so many sci-fi dystopias. 

It's like... I dunno... inventing a dog dirt flavour ice cream; You can keep improving the flavour to make it more authentically dog dirt-tasting, but if people don't want to eat dog dirt-flavoured things then it's unlikely there's much you can do to change their minds.

Not even if, on some level, they're impressed that somebody has a) Had the audacity to make and sell a dog dirt-flavoured treat, and b) Managed to so accurately simulate the taste and texture.

That, for me, is why I've sort of been a VR-sceptic; even if they can solve my motion sickness, that doesn't change needing a space in my house where I'm not going to knock things over, or be filmed secretly by my amused family, who can then show me the video so that I can go into a 24-hour depression and start looking up liposuction clinics.

A product that makes me vomit AND a figure of fun AND insecure about my body? Sign me up!!!!?!!!

But anyway...

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CASUAL AND HARDCORE GAMERS ARE NO MORE, APPARENTLY

21/5/2019

25 Comments

 
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Digitiser may be but a blot on the pop cultural landscape, but there's one major contribution we probably made to video game culture: I'm pretty sure we were responsible for the creation of the terms "hardcore" and "casual" gamers.

You see, when I was at school, "casual" was a phrase to describe a stylish, if unchallenging, sort of person - floppy fringe, nice trousers, smart jumper and shirt, shiny shoes; nice boys and girls, basically - so it was part of my vocabulary. However, I had my mum, and her Tetris addiction specifically, in mind whenever I referred to casual gamers. 

Casual/Hardcore has become so ubiquitous now that I hesitate to claim it came from me, but I can't think where else it might've started. Indeed, Digitiser used to use casual rather sneeringly, looking down our noses as those for whom gaming wasn't the be-all and end-all, and implying a certain elitism.

We never really meant it, or even particularly cared, but as the years wore on it became clear that there were those who really took it seriously. For them, there was a badge of honour in being a "hardcore" gamer - and everyone else was in some way deficient.

Even though the casuals were the ones with an actual life and families and that...

So, if we created the casual/hardcore terminology - which has since spread around the world - then I'm sorry. But - hey - it's okay: because now there aren't just two types of gamers. 

According to gaming and esports analysts Newzoo, there are now as many as EIGHT types of gamer! 

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STEAM REVIEWS ROUND-UP - WITH PETER GABRIEL!

20/5/2019

3 Comments

 
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​Steam games roundup – guest post by SUPER BAD ADVICE... with comments from Peter Gabriel!
 

"Noot noot! Hello everyone, I’m prog rock legend and latterday Colonel Sanders lookalike, P. Gabriel. I’m here today to talk to you about a subject I have no interest in at all – video games on the PC gaming service, Steam! 
 
"In fact, I think they probably only asked me because I once had a hit with a song called Steam, so it might all be an administrative error.

​"It wasn’t as good a song as Sledgehammer either, to be honest, but it did pay for me to make another 5 albums of world music no one bought. Anyway, on with the reviews and my showbiz goss! Nooooooot!"

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REVIEW: MINI REPLICA MEGA DRIVE/GENESIS

20/5/2019

1 Comment

 
Biffo and Gannon have a look at the Retro Electro miniature replica Sega Mega Drive, and take a terrifying diversion into the supernatural...
1 Comment

THE DIGITISER FRIDAY LETTERS PAGE

17/5/2019

22 Comments

 
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If you're coming to Digitiser Live on July 20th, and you're able to get along to Harrow Arts Centre early, the lovely David Walford is putting on a sort of "Digi Fringe" event - which he has kindly offered to sponsor - for teletext artists and others in the Digi community who might have something they want to showcase.

We'll have more information soon, but if you're interested in showing off something - a game, a website, anything - drop us a line and we'll pass your details onto David. 

Also, while we're on the subject of Digi Live... one of the segments we're planning is a sort of Antique's Roadshow thing. So, if you've some weird old gaming-related tat you want to bring along for us to assess on stage, that would be this: highly awesome. 

Please bring the tat, otherwise we'll have another 15 minutes to fill. 


​If you'd like to appear here, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone, or you've got a picture of a bin you wish to share, please send your filthy emails to this place here: digitiser2000@gmail.com​​​​​

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review: shakedown hawaii (switch, pc, ps4, ps vita - switch version tested)

16/5/2019

3 Comments

 
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Yes: you read that right. Shakedown: Hawaii, the sort-of-sequel to Retro City Rampage, is also available for the PS Vita. Why? Nobody knows.

It doesn't matter.

​I've never been to Hawaii. I mean, why would I have been? It's really far away.

I have seen Lilo & Stitch, however, which is set in Hawaii, probably, so I feel like I've been there. Unfortunately, this still makes it hard to assess the authenticity of the Hawaii depicted in Shakedown: Hawaii. It mostly looks like your usual top-down city, but with a few more beaches and palm trees and that. 

Trying to research some context for the game didn't help much either. I found out that leprosy used to be a bit of a thing there, snakes and billboards are banned, and the island of Oahu boasts the largest "pineapple maze" in the world. Impressive, given we all know how much competition there is for that particular world record!!!!!?!!!!!!

Also, there are only 12 letters in the Hawaiian alphabet, which is why the Hawaii's state fish, the "Humuhumunukunukuapuaʿa", reads like the result of somebody falling asleep on their keyboard.

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