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PROOF THAT AMIGA OWNERS WERE THE WORST PEOPLE WHO EVER LIVED

1/3/2018

61 Comments

 
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I've written before about Digitiser's history with the Amiga. Indeed, it's one of the first things that comes up whenever I'm interviewed. In short: Digi didn't cover the Amiga initially. Amiga owners complained in their thousands. We relented and got our bosses to buy us an Amiga, but we continued to grumble bitterly, and then - when the Amiga did go under - we gloated and continued to troll Amiga owners, because it was funny.

Thing is, when we started writing Digi, we had nothing against the Amiga or Amiga owners. I mean, why would we? What sort of lunatic would hate a computer?! How broken would you have to be to launch a vendetta against a computer and its entire user base?!

I mean, to be honest I even regretted that I'd chosen the Atari ST over the Amiga. It had probably been down to some latent loyalty from owning an Atari 2600 years before, but it soon became clear to me which system had the best games catalogue.

Regardless, we didn't see the Amiga as a priority. Anyone could see that the games industry was moving towards a PC/console-centric place, and the Amiga had been knocking around in one form or another since the mid-80s. 

Unfortunately, pointing that out didn't stop Amiga owners from hating us, and it didn't stop us trolling them, and that certainly didn't stop Amiga owners telling us we had an obligation to cover the Amiga, and complaining about us to our bosses and television watchdogs, and trying to get us sacked.

I never understood it. If they wanted Amiga reviews there were plenty of magazines they could go to! Were these people also writing complaints to, I dunno, Mean Machines and Super Play?! Why us?!

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THE WEIRDEST VIDEO GAME CROSSOVERS EVER

28/2/2018

16 Comments

 
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My favourite ever Hanna-Barbera cartoon was the little known Laff-a-Lympics. Unfortunately, it was hardly ever shown, having only lasted a single series, plus an even more obscure follow-up, Scooby's All-Stars. It was an ambitious coming-together of the company's better known characters, with Scooby and his gang competing alongside the likes of Yogi Bear, Hong Kong Phooey, and Captain Caveman.

It was basically a cartoon version of the formula that Marvel Studios is now mining to great success, and which video games has seen most visibly in Nintendo's Super Smash Bros. games.

We've also had Mario + Rabbids, and the at-one-time-unthinkable pairing of Mario and Sonic in a bunch of official Olympics tie-ins, in addition to the likes of Capcom, Square and Disney, and Konami mashing up various franchises.

Here are ten more of the lesser-known gaming crossovers.

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WHY IS THE NINTENDO SWITCH SO LOVED? - by Mr Biffo

27/2/2018

36 Comments

 
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Truth be told, I've not played a lot of games this year thus far. 

Well, not a lot of new games. I've been in a bit of a retro gaming phase of late, primarily to strap myself into the right mindset for Digitiser The Show, but also because most big releases are so darned intimidating.

They loom above me, formidable and imposing. I mean, much as I'd like to say I've climbed the biggest mountain in the world... I can't be arsed to spend months training, and sacrifice my free time. And for what? To say I've done it? What then? All that slog... and what do I have to show for it?

​I'll tell you what: a frostbitten "nipsy".

Retro gaming offers short, sharp, blasts of gaming. To extend the analogy, they're more like visiting a climbing centre, or going up some stairs, than scaling Mount AAAverest. Also, I don't need to have to dig a hole in the snow to do my mucky business.

Oddly, the idea of playing new games has proven more appealing than the reality. I haven't stopped buying them... I just haven't gotten around to playing any. My copy of Monster Hunter World languishes in its shrink-wrap, and I can't see myself unboxing it anytime soon.

Partly, it's also down to the hardware the games come on. I've had my Xbox One and PS4 unplugged for a while, and the wires have become knotted into a mass of black spaghetti, and I need to charge the joypads, but my PS4 joypad has a wobbly connector, and... well... they've been off long enough that I'll have to download massive system updates, and... yes, these are small things, easy to overcome, probably, with a bit of patience, but they just add up a level of faff that stops me from bothering.


Which is why, when I finally broke my drought at the weekend, it was the Switch that I turned to. Yeah, that's right, it's going to be one of those articles. You know: one of the ones where I go on about how great the Switch is. 

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ARCADE PROMOTIONAL FLYERS ARE ALL A BIT WEIRD

26/2/2018

14 Comments

 
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Come fly with me... come fly, come flyer way! 

We don't tend to think about this, but arcade machines don't just appear in arcades out of thin air. The arcade owner has to actually buy the machines. They cost loads; a brand new Mario & Sonic at the Winter Olympics unit will set you back around £13,000. Think about how many coins will need to go in the slot for the arcade owner to break even. At least 13,000!

One way in which arcade machine manufacturers attempt to sell their hardware to arcade owners is via the use of promotional flyers. They've become something of an art form in and of themselves, though frequently... they're of dubious quality. 

Here are ten random examples, which have been dissected needlessly.

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THE DIGITISER2000 FRIDAY LETTERS PAGE

23/2/2018

24 Comments

 
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Two weeks today - at 7am on the 9th March - we'll be launching the Kickstarter for Digitiser The Show. I feel ready for this. Mr Biffo's Found Footage, in a lot of ways, happened by accident, but this time... the moment has been prepared for. 

If you haven't already, sign up to our newsletter - there'll be updates coming very soon - and please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more exclusive teaser videos. And, it goes without saying, share, share and share more; if this is going to be the big, grand, ambitious gaming series we all want, we need as much support as we can get. As a team, we can all make this happen.

But enough about that: if you'd like to appear here, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone, please send your filthy emails early to this place here: 
digitiser2000@gmail.com

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EVERY WRONG THING NINTENDO EVER DID WRONG

22/2/2018

27 Comments

 
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So, Nintendo is at it again: releasing a thing which makes all the rest of the games industry look tedious and predictable. The shortly-to-be-released Nintendo Labo is a load of cardboard slivers that you'll be able to fashion into add-ons for its unquestionably brilliant Switch console. Soon, cardboard pianos, houses, exoskeletons, swooshers, vab-dabs, hnnngs and troi-trotties will be yours to build with your son - Creamy Eduardo.

However, such is the nature of creativity that hitting the bullseye on a big, risky, idea like this means generating a lot of other ideas, many of which will be less-warmly received. Nobody's perfect, and Nintendo, despite its peerless reputation, has made many a wrong-headed move.

​Here are ten of the company's biggest mess-ups.

Nintendo? More like BINtendo!!!!!!!! 

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WHAT ELSE DID TOMOHIRO NISHIKADO DO BESIDES SPACE INVADERS?

21/2/2018

7 Comments

 
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CHEER UP, LOVE...
Tomohiro Nishikado isn't a name you hear very often. And if you did, to Western ears it would just sound like somebody having a funny turn.

And no - that's not racist...

It's just a fact.

However, "Tom-Tom" Nishikado should be remembered, because he gave us what I proudly declare to be the single greatest video game of all time: Shaq Fu (Space Invaders).

Part of the reason his name might not be better known is that Nishikado was forbidden, at least initially, from revealing his part in the creation of the modern games industry. His contract with his bosses at Taito meant that Space Invaders, and the games he created prior to its release, were credited to the company rather than any individual.

This was standard policy at the time for the industry, and game creators only began to get their dues when a bunch of disgruntled Atari employees sodded off to form Activision in the late-1970s. 

Another reason that Nishikado isn't a household name is that, sadly, he never again scaled the heights of his iconic creation. After it became a worldwide hit, others took his baton, greased it up, and slid it in out of a gloryhole while playing a slidewhistle - leaving Taito playing catch-up with both game design and technology. Nishikado himself stayed off of the radar, slithering around behind the scenes as a jobbing producer for Taito, before setting up his own development studio, Dreams, in the mid-90s.

Here, then, are some of his other - less heralded - works.

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WHY SPACE INVADERS IS THE BEST GAME EVER - by Mr Biffo

20/2/2018

19 Comments

 
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Space Invaders is the best game ever. I don't say that lightly. I mean it literally and sincerely; it's really, really good. 

I realised this last weekend, when I played it for the first time in, y'know, forever. I think, like all of us, I'd been taking Space Invaders for granted for far too long. Its ubiquity as the spark which ignited the Golden Age of Gaming has overshadowed what a work of genius the game actually is.

Yes, it was a whole bundle of firsts, and it's important in all manner of ways, but there's a reason why it's Space Invaders and not, say, Gun Fight, that has endured. And that reason is this reason: like The Beatles, or The Sex Pistols, or Star Wars, or the iPhone... it was in and of itself brilliant; not just for the time, but for all time.

I've played so many old games that I remember fondly, and now I sort of come to expect them to be broken, straining at the restrictions of the hardware, or glitchy, or trying too hard to experiment, or just damned impossible.

​Space Invaders, much to my surprise, isn't like that; it works as well now as it did then. 

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10 GAME SEQUELS THAT SHOULD NEVER HAVE SWAPPED PIXELS FOR POLYGONS

19/2/2018

24 Comments

 
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There was a point in the games industry when pixels tumbled out of fashion, and everybody wanted to caper and romp to the lusty beat of a brand new Disco King. To wit: the bold new craze that was The Polygon Shuffle.

Having seen the successful transition the Mario series had made from two to three dimensions, publishers adhered themselves swiftly to the bandwagon with something approaching gay abandon, using naught but the flimsiest of justifications as a tether.

Fact is, the technology was still finding its feet. Whereas 2D gaming had been perfected in the decades preceding this graceless transition, many great game franchises were almost ruined by rushing headlong into the gaping jaws of 3D (not to be confused with the gaping jaws of Jaws 3D: a bad film).

Too little thought was given as to how they should best translate 2D gaming mechanics into three-dimensional environments. Few developers employed the sort of careful consideration Nintendo had clearly lavished on Mario. Regrettably, it was a time of great darkness, and few of these games have weathered the "annals" (ha ha) of time.

Here are but ten of them. Ha ha: "but-ten" (bottom).

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THE DIGITISER2000 FRIDAY LETTERS PAGE

16/2/2018

28 Comments

 
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Man... this week was a slog. Last weekend's Play Expo really took it out of me. My exhaustion collided with a bunch of work deadlines, and finalising a bunch of important Digitiser: The Show things which spun out of Play. 

As you've probably seen, Friday March 9th has now been earmarked as the date we launch the Kickstarter. Clearly, there's a real hunger for a proper gaming show at the minute, if the slightly terrifying buzz around it is anything to go by. It's a good buzz though. Not like a bad buzz, like a giant wasp, or anything.

We will endeavour to provide you with sweet treats... and make something that's accessible, without compromising the Digitiser spirit.

If you haven't done so already, please sign up for our newsletter, which will let you know about Digitiser: The Show things as and when we think of them. You can find the link in the sidebar, or at the bottom of this page.

​It goes without saying that your support - even if it's just spreading the word, sharing, retweeting - will go a long way to make this possible. The more we raise, the more we'll be able to make this like a proper proper gaming show.

But enough about that: if you'd like to appear here, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone, please send your filthy emails early to this place here: 
digitiser2000@gmail.com

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28 Comments

the long sad history of Star Trek games

15/2/2018

31 Comments

 
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And lo, the first series of the latest iteration of Star Trek has come to its conclusion.

It's fair to say that Star Trek: Discovery has split audiences like a deck of nerds (cards), leading to debates over whether it's good or not, whether it squats like Mr Motivator all over Star Trek canon, and whether it's too different or too much the same. All I know is that I've watched the first half of the first season, and I can't get past the shiny spaceships, un-naturalistic performances, barking-mad Klingon politics, and how awful it is.

And I hate that I don't like it, because it's a sci-fi show with great production values.

Much as Star Trek fans are torn over Discovery, I've always had a bit of a love/hate thing with Star Trek. I enjoyed the campiness of the original series, loved Wrath of Khan, was sort of into The Next Generation, but wished they didn't do so much moralising, and then gradually got bored with the whole franchise until the recent reboot films, which didn't feel much like Star Trek at all, and thus I enjoyed them a lot more.

My relationship with Star Trek games - and there have been many (too many to include in this article) - pretty much mirrors this. Here's a whistlestop tour through the history of the Star Trek gaming universe.

​Set phasers to "badness"!

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ANNOUNCING DIGITISER: THE SHOW

14/2/2018

38 Comments

 
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As we get closer to fulfilling one Kickstarter campaign - the epic year-and-a-half project that was Mr Biffo's Found Footage - so we approach the start of a new one; Digitiser: The Show is coming.

Interestingly, as we've been putting the final pieces in place, Channel 4 announced Playing For Time, a four-part series in which comedian Rob Beckett and celebrities are stranded in the past, and will need to complete a level of a classic game in order to return to the present day. It might end up being amazing, but... on paper at least, it's seems to be the antithesis of what we're aiming for with Digitiser: The Show.

Many of you backed, and watched, Found Footage, so you know by now that I don't do things by halves. My aim with Digitiser: The Show is nothing less than a full-blooded web series that wouldn't look out of place on TV.

It's oft mentioned that the gaming show people most want to see is effectively "Top Gear for games"... yet nobody has tried it thus far. Because I'm clearly insane, that's the level of ambition we're aiming for. Albeit imbued with the essence of the video game shows we used to see on TV - Games Master, Bad Influence! - and the spirit of Digitiser.

I'm hopeful that if enough of you get behind this, we can produce the show that we all want to watch.

LESSONS
I learned a lot from doing Found Footage, but I also met a lot of talented people. All of that combined with my own 20-odd years of experience working in TV will hopefully result in a slick, professional, but anarchic, end product.

Obviously, that's only going to be possible if we manage to raise a big chunk of money (the biggest lesson I learned on Found Footage is that telly isn't cheap). Whatever happens, we'll still be making a show... but if we don't reach our goals, it'll just be the three of us sat on a sofa talking about old things.

The three of us? Yes: because Digitiser: The Show will have three hosts.

Aside from myself, there'll be Paul Gannon - a self-confessed non-gamer, who many of you will recognise from Barshens, Cheapshow and Found Footage. I first met Paul last year at a comedy night held at the Centre for Computing History in Cambridge, where he did a very funny, very warm and likeable, stand-up set. 

After Paul hosted the Found Footage premiere last year, I knew I wanted him for the show.

Joining us will be none other than Gameplay Jenny, who some of you may know from the YouTubes, where her Let's Play videos showcase the grounded, but funny, demeanour she's going to need when Paul and I are misbehaving.

Alongside the core trio, we'll have a team of roving gaming hounds, who'll join us for certain segments. Many of them you should recognise... but more on those in due course, along with more details of what the show actually is. We've got some big ideas, some big name guests lined-up, and some big topics to tackle - none of which, as you'd expect, we'll treat with any degree of respect or reverence.

And characters? It's Digitiser. Of course there'll be characters...

The funding campaign will launch on Friday March 9th at 7am - one day before the famous Mario Day! In the meantime, enjoy the teaser video.
38 Comments

REVIEW: SHADOW OF THE COLOSSUS (PS4)

13/2/2018

8 Comments

 
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GUEST REVIEW BY SUPER BAD ADVICE

Sony’s Team Ico aren’t exactly what you’d call prolific. Since forming in 1997 they’ve only made 3 games, and one of them took 9 years and ended up being finished by another developer (presumably because the original designers died of extreme torpor).
 
But if you’re only going to make 3 games, what a trio to make. Ico, Shadow of the Colossus and The Last Guardian are all much-acclaimed titles – the first 2 especially. It’s no secret that Ico and SotC are considered all-time classics.
 
With that in mind, you might think Sony doing an update of the best of the bunch with zero involvement of the original team is a bit risky, no? It’d be like making a ‘modern’ version of The Empire Strikes Back that’s the exact same film, only with a load of photoshopped-in iPhones and Darth Vader redubbed by Stormzy. 

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I DO LIKE TO BE BESIDE THE SEASIDE: PLAY EXPO BLACKPOOL 2018 ROUND-UP - by Mr biffo

12/2/2018

15 Comments

 
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Knackered... but it was worth it.

I've done a few of these retro gaming events now, though I think Play Expo Blackpool was the first time I really 'got it'... and I barely had the opportunity to play any games (just one quick two-player go on Asteroids - narrowly beating my friend Mark). 

So, my review of the event itself wouldn't be very interesting - though I was deeply envious of everyone who got to spend time in the sprawling gaming area. I had to rush home early, so there wasn't the time to play even on the Sunday, or attend any of the other panels. I would've loved to have been at the Spectrum Next and YouTuber chats.

However, I can talk about the atmosphere - which, for the most part, felt warm, communal, and welcoming. I hope I get the chance to go again as a punter.

Ostensibly, I was there to be interviewed by The Retro Hour podcast boys, but either side of that I was running from one meeting to another all day, giving interviews, and trying to piece together the component parts of the Digitiser web series Kickstarter (among other things). I really enjoyed the panel, and tried to find new ways to tell stories I know I've told before.

They do take it out of me though. My default mode is trying to be invisible and not draw attention to myself. I'm always happier when somebody takes the spotlight from me, but when I do panels, I kind of unconsciously switch into performance mode, and become a slightly more heightened version of myself. It can be a bit exhausting, but thank Gawd for adrenaline...!

In the evening we had a bit of a meet-up - preceded by a quick last-minute change of venue, which I hope didn't inconvenience too many people - and I remain blown away by how nice everyone was. I did my best to talk to you all and be coherent, despite my brain and body crumbling in on itself. Sorry if my eyes were rolling back in their sockets at any point.

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THE DIGITISER2000 FRIDAY LETTERS PAGE

9/2/2018

25 Comments

 
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Unless you're reading this on Sunday, then there's still time to come along to Play Expo in Blackpool, where TV's Mr Biffo will be holding court on stage at midday on Saturday - and revealing all about our plans for this year's Digitiser web series. Also: his bare midriff. 

Even if you can't make it, and you happen to be in the area, why not join us in the evening
 at The Highlands Pub in Bispham, just down the road from the convention centre, from 5.30pm onwards? You can get tickets to the show here. 

But enough about that: if you'd like to appear here, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone, please send your filthy emails early to this place here: digitiser2000@gmail.com

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