 It has been yet another busy week on Digitiser 2000, stuffed to our mouldy rafters with gaming loveliness and general no-boring nonsense.
We know how hard it can be to keep up with all the to-ings and fro-ings of the site, so here's everything you may have missed over the past five days:
0 Comments
 Hello. I'm a popular comedian called The Man's Daddy. You're probably wondering what I'm doing here, and why. Answers to all of your questions will be answered momentarily...
...And now the moment has arrived: I am here to tell you some jokes. These are not any old jokes - these are special sexist jokes about mother-in-laws, that I wrote back in the 1970s when it was considered acceptable to hate women (before everything was ruined). Where are the jokes I mention? That's an easy one: here they are now. Ok. Well. Bye then.  A hipster, yesterday We had an excellent and enthusiastic response to our polls about Digitiser t-shirts, but we'd like your feedback one more time if that's alright, dear.
Basically, the issue is this: we sort of need to know what sizes to be ordering before we buy the t-shirts, as we don't want to be left with about 500 XXL shirts, when people only wanted Medium. It's expensive enough as it is, and we're not expecting to sell thousands - and the previous poll was helpful, but not conclusive. So, yes, we're running yet another poll.  Digitiser 2000's Mr Biffo was a special guest on the lovely Midnight Resistance podcast earlier this week, courtesy of its fragrant and charming hosts Andi and Sean.
If you would like to hear him talk troublingly about poisoning animals, his thoughts on point and click adventure Broken Age, and eating pork scratchings out of a condom... you can go here: MIDNIGHT RESISTANCE PODCAST  Here's a real funny thing that you'll probably hate us for: we've always considered Majora's Mask to be our least favourite Zelda game.
At the time it was originally released, back in the year 199X, it felt like a sort of lesser remix of the peerless Ocarina of Time. Many of its elements - re-living the same three days over and over, the weird melancholy that permeated the world of Termina (a dark shadow of the series' traditional Hyrule setting), Link being transformed into different creatures - felt like they broke much of what we loved. Now, looking back, we were probably stupid to feel that way. But then, we've got stupid running through our veins.  Why, I'm so angry I could vomit up a 50lb fly. And not any old fly: but a proper dirty one, that's been sniffing round a pile of worryingly dry dog sick. DRINK MORE WATER, YOU STUPID HOUND. Drink so much you actually drown.
So anyway. Something I've been thinking about a lot recently (recently = since about five minutes ago) is this: consoles are well boring now, aren't they and that innit? Whatever happened to the days when we got consoles that looked like car engine components, or DJ decks?  Our second zombie game review this week - and it's only Wednesday - doesn't exactly reassure us that the whole zombie thing isn't being done to death. Or un-death. Ha ha? No. No "ha ha" here.
However, this remastering (for the purists, a - if you will - "Re-Mastering of Unlocking") is at least a "new" (more on that in a moment) version of the game that started it all.  These days, it seems that almost any game can be considered a target for greedy movie producers. As one of the biggest-selling mobile titles of recent years, it was only a matter of time before Flappy Bird got the Hollywood treatment.
Digitiser 2000 has been given a sneak peak at the script for the upcoming movie based upon "Dong" Nguyen's popular creation.  Nintendo is weird. We just don't get it. The company seems almost wilfully and deliberately stubborn at times. You know: like one of those idiots you went to school with who would avoid doing the stuff everyone else was doing, just because everyone else was doing it (jokes on you, idiot: while you were "enjoying" your Husker Du albums and Kurt Vonnegut books - we were all watching Expendables 2 - BOOM!). But why IS Nintendo so weird?
 Digitiser 2000's first ever competition, paid for out of our Patreon fund, in case you think all of that money is going on gin - was a moderate success. You may recall that we asked for you to dress up as your favourite Digitiser character. Much to our surprise, some of you actually did that. We can't pretend we were swamped with entries, but the quality of some of them was so absurdly high that it more than made up for things. We really struggled with who to award the top prize to, but ultimately had to choose the entry that displayed the most creativity and effort. But it was a close call.
As stated, the runners-up receive a digital portrait drawn in a Digi style, while the grand winner receives a framed physical portrait, a £50 Amazon voucher, and a copy of the Pudsey The Dog: The Movie DVD, defaced by its writer. Winners will be contacted shortly for their details. Here's the gallery:  There are numerous reasons why Digitiser 2000 will never be a hit with The Kids. First among these reasons is that we don't really get Let's Play videos.
Admittedly, this is not entirely a consequence of "old fartage" - we've never enjoyed watching other people play games. Indeed, back in the days of the Gamesmaster TV show, the challenges were our least favourite bits. We'd endure Jet from Gladiators playing Bubsy the Bobcat, but wish they'd just hurry up and get to the reviews and features.  Let's face it, hardcore gamers are the worst sort of people to be in a relationship with - if not the worst sort of people full stop.
If they're not ignoring you because they're playing games, they're pretending to not ignore you while secretly thinking about playing games. Unfortunately, many of us do get sucked into a relationship with this wretched human scum without realising, because they're generally smart enough never to mention Katamari Damacy on a first date. By the time we become aware of their horrible obsession it's often far too late.  As you are doubtless already aware, Dying Light isn't yet available to buy in shops, for the following terrible and annoying reasons: <INSERT CHOICE OF CONSPIRACY THEORY HERE>.
However, it is out now for download, at full retail price, if you simply cannot wait for physical product, because you really, really, really always have to have your zombie things NOW.  So, last week Sega announced it was offering voluntary redundancy to 300 of its staff. Globally, the corporation's US operation is likely to be hardest hit, as it moves its operation from San Francisco to southern California.
While troubling for the company as a whole, more worrying still for Sega's dedicated hardcore of weird fans (and, as unlikely as it sounds, they do still exist), it's repositioning itself as a smartphone and online PC game business. |
This section will not be visible in live published website. Below are your current settings: Current Number Of Columns are = 2 Expand Posts Area = Gap/Space Between Posts = 12px Blog Post Style = card Use of custom card colors instead of default colors = 1 Blog Post Card Background Color = current color Blog Post Card Shadow Color = current color Blog Post Card Border Color = current color Publish the website and visit your blog page to see the results 
Follow us on The Facebook
Archives
December 2022
|
RSS Feed
