 We're doing it again! Last year's Digitiser Live was such a success that we're stupidly going to attempt to catch lightning in a bottle a second time. Appropriately, the risk of electrocution is high.
We can't tell you much at the minute - we can't even confirm the date - but what we can tell you is that while there'll be a few changes, it'll once again be themed loosely around retro gaming. We're still awaiting final confirmation from the venue, but we're hoping it'll be held at the same North London arts centre as before, which has decent transport links, and isn't in the scary bit of town. Whereas the first Digi Live used Digitiser The Show as its springboard, this year's event will take its cue from the current format of the Digitiser YouTube channel. Having learned a lot from last year, Gannon, Sanja and I hope to invite a stellar array of special guests to join us in the chaos, with the aim of topping the first one in terms of scale and absurdity. We're also talking about holding another Chunky Fringe during the day leading up to the live show, again with the assistance of last year's organisers David Walford and Chris Bell. We also know that for many of you it was a uniquely special social gathering, so we're hoping to make more of that aspect if possible. Already many of you have volunteered your services, but right now we're not looking for help. We're still putting the show together, so don't even know all the details ourselves. Rest assured, if we need volunteers... we'll ask. Tickets will be going on sale soon, but, for now, this is a chance for you to discuss the new live show in the comments. Tell us what you want from the event. Who you'd like to see there. What you enjoyed about the first one. And so on and so forth. Tony Stark is dead. Wolverine is dead. Captain America is old. Thor got out of shape - we need a new generation of super-heroes! Forget Watchmen, The Justice League, Marvel's Avengers and X-Men.
In this week's Digitiser, Biffo, Gannon and Eli Silverman step forwards to save the world via a ridiculous game! It's our very own Snyder Cut (or something). Subscribe for regular videos, and support Digitiser on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/digitiser2000 Buy official Digitiser merch from our store: https://www.redbubble.com/people/digi...  See that image above? It's funny isn't it? But you can all stop tagging me in it now, because I can promise you I've seen it about a thousand times already, and I long ago stopped finding original ways to respond.
Equally... yes, yes. Very funny is the idea that Beanus has a brother who likes peas - but again, I've now heard the joke on average five times per day since the autumn. Also... the whole joke is already that "Beanus" obviously sounds a bit like "penis", so... y'know. It's like telling Kenny Everett - there's a contemporary reference for you - that it'd be funny if his character Cupid Stunt changed the first letters of her name around. Yes. You see... THAT'S THE JOKE. Please. Please... no more. Every day. Every. Single. Day. Please. I'm begging you. PLEASE. Anyway. Let's have some letters! If you want to appear here, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone, please send your filthy emails to this place here: digitiser2000@gmail.com  GUEST ARTICLE by DAVID HESLOP
What did you get up to on your Christmas holidays? I know, I know; we’re already well into January. The decorations are back in the loft, the only Celebrations left in the tin are Mars bars and Bountys, and no one at work will shut up about how they have to spend the month doing a poo on a chemical toilet because it’s “Caravanuary”. But, like an over-enthusiastic primary schooler, I’m here to tell you about my Christmas. Because I got two things: a Bluetooth-enabled Xbox controller (presumably my last one communicated in semaphore) and an invite to Microsoft’s xCloud beta. xCloud, for the uninitiated or plain uninterested, is Microsoft’s still-in-the-oven game streaming service. Currently operating mostly in a closed invite-only beta test, it can be seen as a rival to Google’s controversial Stadia platform. Like many, I read with great interest Mr Biffo’s experiences with Stadia, which went against the prevailing gaming press opinion (and the opinion of lots of people on the internet, presumably all of whom have played it extensively before commenting with such vitriol). I’ve not got Stadia – looks a bit too expensive for what it is from where I’m sitting, but I can very much imagine it works well enough – but I was asked by Mr B to share my experiences with xCloud.  GUEST ARTICLE by SUPER BAD ADVICE
Well it’s a new month, a new year and a new decade. And you know what that means? Yes, that’s right: nothing, given our calendar system starts at an arbitrary point in time with no specific meaning. But as this has been going on for 2000-odd years now it’s probably simpler to just go along with it, yeah? However: the turning of the year also heralds the shambling return of CES – the big annual electronics expo where companies spaff out a load of new rubbish you don’t need, right after you bought last year’s bloody model for Xmas. To show we’ve got our finger if not on the pulse, then at least hovering menacingly near your trembling wrist, here’s our rundown of this year’s most desirable ‘wares’. They’re so hot, they’ll scald your glabella! Biffo and Sanja taste-test a selection of exotic Iceland food and snacks, including curried herring and hákarl aka fermented or rotten shark - famously, one of worst foods in the worlds.
Suffice to say, Biffo barely manages to keep it down... Subscribe for regular videos, and support Digitiser on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/digitiser2000 Buy official Digitiser merch from our store: https://www.redbubble.com/people/digi...  I've given the Digi/Biffo Patreon a bit of an overhaul, adding an extra tier for anybody who is paying $5 or more a month.
I've been toying with this for a while, because I've been wanting to write more regular, more personal, blog posts - and possibly doing vlogs - that didn't fit elsewhere. and I didn't feel entirely comfortable doing it when they'd be accessible to those who might've just signed up on a whim, or out of curiosity. It's going to be the sort of longer-form stuff I'd have once put on Digi, but perhaps sharing a bit more personal insight, talk about my day job... whatever random stuff that wouldn't have fitted easily on this site. Also, we've got more Patrons than ever now - which is lovely, thank you - but the actual monthly amount they bring in has gone down quite a bit. So, it makes sense. Given changes (read the FAQ if you haven't already) that are happening, and given I want to get a lot more serious about growing all things Digi and YouTube this year, and I'm most likely not doing a new Kickstarter anytime soon, we need to find a way to give extra incentive for people who might be able to pay a little bit more. I don't really like hiding anything behind a paywall - or asking for money at all - but hopefully the nature of the posts I'll be making - starting with part one of my 10 Commandments! - will make it worthwhile. And if it works, and more people sign up and pay that little bit extra, then you'll hopefully start seeing it reflected in the content I put out for general consumption. I'm considering other ideas for extra Patreon content, and possibly more tiers. But one thing at a time. Now? Letters! If you want to appear here, or you've something you'd like me to give some attention to in our occasional Plug Zone, please send your filthy emails to this place here: digitiser2000@gmail.com  Somehow, it seems like we're never going to run out of bad game artwork. Such as the troubling cover of Mole Hunter, above - replete with what is presumable a phallic-looking mole, a dead snake, and a hammer-wielding, pin-headed, mole hunter.
Here are another ten.  Hello. I'm a popular comedian called The Man's Daddy. We're already halfway through January, and already I've had an eventful year.
I've spent most of this month on my latest comedy tour. It was a good tour, but also a bad tour, because at one of my shows the audience died. It was so sad. They all boiled to death in the lobby! Anyway, I'm ready now to share with you some of the hilarious comedy jokes I've been telling on tour. I can't be certain, but I think these might be my best jokes yet. Or my worst. Who can say? Either way, I hope you like them. Well, I'd better go. I've got a lot of washing to do. I only got back last night. Well, bye then. Bye. Hope you like these jokes. Yeah, bye. See you soon, yeah? Okay, yeah. Bye. Bye then. Enjoy my jokes. Bye. See you soon, I hope. Bye. In this bumper, definitely-not-for-kids, edition of Digitiser, the idiots Gannon and Biffo enlist the help of puppets to help them understand how COPPA is affecting creators.
Also, they play another round of the card game Game Off, attempting to out-gross one another, while revealing some of their most terrible, most embarrassing, secrets... Subscribe for regular videos, and support Digitiser on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/digitiser2000 Buy official Digitiser merch from our store: https://www.redbubble.com/people/digi...  What's going on with Digitiser over the coming year? Will I appear on your podcast? Will there be a live show in 2020? Check out the brand new FAQ for the answers to all these questions - and many more!
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