The amusement arcades have evolved through the decades, and yet there is one constant, one staple, which remains unchanged: the Penny Falls. It was there before we arrived, and it shall remain long after we are gone. Here, Digitiser2000 pays tribute.
Lo, the Penny Falls, Mankind's cruellest creation, trapping the promise of wealth within a prison of glass. But who is the true prisoner here?
It is us, homo sapiens, a species that believes its futile pursuit of wealth is what sets it above those with whom it shares this planet.
It is us, homo sapiens, a species that believes its futile pursuit of wealth is what sets it above those with whom it shares this planet.
The Penny Fools serves to mock. See the bags of coin on the left ledge. An impossible challenge. You know the odds are weighted against you. And yet that has never stopped you before.
This machine is nothing less than a metaphor, an analogy of the fruitless carrot-and-stick routine of your lamentable existence.
This machine is nothing less than a metaphor, an analogy of the fruitless carrot-and-stick routine of your lamentable existence.
See the boiled sweet. We, the human, evolved to crave the sugars. There is no shame in it. Our ancestors survived on a diet of sugar-rich fruit, evolving to prefer the ripened harvest for its higher sugar content, which supplied more energy.
There is no shame in hungering for the boiled gem, in pawing against the glass, your mournful lowing echoing through the amusement arcade. Embrace it. Embrace your evolutionary drives.
There is no shame in hungering for the boiled gem, in pawing against the glass, your mournful lowing echoing through the amusement arcade. Embrace it. Embrace your evolutionary drives.
The high rollers take to the 10p machines. For them the risks are worth it. It is what rises them above the rabble. That in itself is reward enough, they reason.
Along with the sugar, man desires the fats, to build his reserves for the long, harsh winter ahead. The bacon and the eggs will sate that craving.
But hold: some part of your mind tells you that these are naught but rubber facsimiles. And yet... STILL YOU CRAVE.
But hold: some part of your mind tells you that these are naught but rubber facsimiles. And yet... STILL YOU CRAVE.
The teetering... the endless teetering... OH, WHY WON'T YOU FALL, MY DESIRED MINTAGE?
The one whimsical duck wavers on the brink, as his brethren watch silently from the sides. Will the foolish hero be undone by his bluster and bravado? OR WILL HE RUN OUT OF SPARE CHANGE FIRST?!?
How easy it would be to grab some nearby object and smash through the crystal buffer, to reach through the jagged shard-mouth and grab a fistful of riches.
You would hold them above your head, and you would scream: "I AM DEFINED! YES. I AM DEFINED..."
You would hold them above your head, and you would scream: "I AM DEFINED! YES. I AM DEFINED..."
You imagine the possibilities. You imagine what it would be to own the Paws, or the novelty cameras, or the counterfeit driving licence.
How these treasures would increase your social standing, as you tell the tale around the campfire of the derring do which led them into your grasp. Yet, what defence are stories against the sabre tooth tiger, or cro-magnon invader?
How these treasures would increase your social standing, as you tell the tale around the campfire of the derring do which led them into your grasp. Yet, what defence are stories against the sabre tooth tiger, or cro-magnon invader?
There - at the heart of the coins: a keyring reading "World's Best Mum"! At last, you will have the validation you have long sought! An affirmation of your primal instinct toward procreation, of furthering the species to which you belong.
It is your purpose designate, and it is so close... and yet so far beyond your physical reach.
It is your purpose designate, and it is so close... and yet so far beyond your physical reach.
Our forebears would see the rainbow and they would find ways to explain it to their primitive minds. It was a sign from their gods, or a visitation.
And here, within the jewelled cage, you see the primary coloured crescent imprinted upon the chest of the bear, and it awakens in you some distant memory buried deep in your DNA. You know that, this time, you are not to tamper.
You back away from the glass, uttering your apologies to some long-forgotten deity.
And here, within the jewelled cage, you see the primary coloured crescent imprinted upon the chest of the bear, and it awakens in you some distant memory buried deep in your DNA. You know that, this time, you are not to tamper.
You back away from the glass, uttering your apologies to some long-forgotten deity.
You know the Despicable Me 2 mug will never fit through the coin dispenser, and yet still you try. A test, perhaps, placed before you by the wise and learned ancients, to evaluate the mental faculties of their descendants?
Despite all evidence to the contrary, you push on. Never give up. Never surrender. You will have that mug, even if you must bend the laws of the universe to your will...
Despite all evidence to the contrary, you push on. Never give up. Never surrender. You will have that mug, even if you must bend the laws of the universe to your will...
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