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A TRIBUTE TO SEVENTIES FASHION

3/8/2016

17 Comments

 
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"Fashion! Turn to the left! Fashion! Turn to the right! Oooh, fashion! We are the goon squad and we're coming to town! Beep-beep!"

And people called David Bowie a terrible lyricist.

In honour of it being 46 years this year since the dawn of the 1970s, here's some godawful fashion from that era, which mercifully chose to remain there.
It appears to be a photograph from a British mail order catalogue. It's actually a photo taken at the casting sessions for Auf Wiedersehen, Pet.
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It seems a shame that they airbrushed out the knife that the guy being kicked was obviously holding.
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First glance: Astronaut. Second glance: Oh, it's knitted. It's not until the third glance that you see the hen.
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Who are these jumpsuits for? Ah... men. Specifically, men like you who "make things happen". Let's hope those things don't include diarrhoea.
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He's like a character from a German kids TV show, which would've been dubbed unconvincingly into English, and aired on CBBC on weekday mornings in the school holidays.
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Hat: $3.00.
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Things happen when you wear Eleganza. And those things include, but are not limited to, being chased down the street by people pointing and laughing at your collar.
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"Hee-haw! Imma knock God right offa his cloud, Billy!" 
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Presumably the Swedish Army aren't bothered by their enemies sneaking up from behind.
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Why are they called Lo-Rise S'port? Because they have a horizontal opening which allows you to dock with an "S".
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CAPTION: "Bronze Age Tits Invent Soccer".
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Putting the "dung" in "dungarees".
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Frankly, mate, you would've been sexier had you not chosen to expose your nip-nip, yeah?
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"WARNING: DO NOT PLACE IN MICROWAVE". Ok. What about the toaster? Is it alright to shove them into the toaster? What about the barbecue? Can I put them on that? Can I cram it into an anthill?
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Scene from the never-aired pilot of The A Team (then known as The Plaid Team).
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Unisexe? Uni-not-very-sexe more like.
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Apparently, the collar's square neckline encourages shirt collar flaunting. Everything else about it encourages a punch to the abdomen.
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It's hard to pick a favourite, but if we had to choose it'd probably be second from left - the homo floresiensis in blue.
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Roger Moore, demonstrating here why he's considered the most naturalistic actor of his generation. Even when climbing backwards into a swimming pool while wearing a woolly sweater.
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FROM THE ARCHIVE:
10 TERRIBLE CAVEMAN COSTUMES
10 TERRIBLE RETRO "SEX" GAMES
 
10 HEDGEHOGS WITH ATTITUDE
17 Comments
David W
3/8/2016 11:19:43 am

Is that 70s Bill Oddie in the jumpsuit?

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Chirs
3/8/2016 12:52:09 pm

You're all laughing now, but in post-Brexit Britain this is the sort of fashion we're heading back towards.

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Stay
3/8/2016 02:38:03 pm

At least they will be made in the UK once we become the sweatshop/workhouse of Europe. #tophat

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im stupid
6/8/2016 01:44:36 pm

#imStupid

Clockwork Fool
3/8/2016 01:17:03 pm

I would wear a lot of this. Not all of it, not even most. But I would love to be able to buy a lot of these items of clothing.

Not even ironically.

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timmypoos
3/8/2016 09:28:39 pm

Me too, I honestly found most of these outfits rather fetching, apart from Mr Nipvest. Coolest sheep I've seen in a while too, but not *the* coolest.

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ChorltonWheelie
3/8/2016 06:50:08 pm

All safely tucked away in the Wank Bank for later. Hrrrmmmmmm.

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Retroresolution link
3/8/2016 08:10:59 pm

Is that Christopher Walken on the left in the Plaid Team? It's pretty disturbing how the Team have colour/pattern coordinated sheep as sidekicks. Makes Deadpool look normal...

Unfortunately as I'm old enough to have been a kid in the 70s, a little of this fashion nightmare is part of my upbringing. I still fear orange. Everything was orange: Carpets, Curtains (steady), hand-knitted jumpers, crisps, fizzy drinks, oxygen... Maybe that's the reason my eyes are so knackered.

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timmypoos
3/8/2016 09:36:43 pm

A 'Latino'd up' Christopher Walken. Racism was different back in t' day.

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neil
3/8/2016 09:53:20 pm

thank God I wasn't about then because I don't see a single pair of trousers I'd be able to get much higher up than my knees. Not a good look.

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gwen
3/8/2016 11:23:05 pm

Saly i remember some of those pictures,the top one in particular,how did we ever make it out of the '70's?

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Lofty from EastEnders
4/8/2016 10:49:53 am

Pretty sure the dungareed guy on the left is the next Spider-Man.

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Turbojunk
4/8/2016 04:09:35 pm

The jump suit...in the writing it's called a 'stretch terry'. I don't know what this is, but my God I want to

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Spot
4/8/2016 04:13:19 pm

This was awesome. Kickin' jeans alone is going to keep me giggling for a while. There's a guy wearing a orange dyed sack and shorts combo! And why is that one guy just casually flashing his nipple?
Also..a LOT of bulges going on there
Thanks Mr B

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Damon link
5/8/2016 06:39:58 am

I love everything about this.

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Curt
5/8/2016 10:50:41 am

I think some of these are from Liar town USA, a photoshop parody site / hive of insanity the kicking jeans Im sure I saw on there, its worth checking out

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King_rocket
7/8/2016 11:10:30 am

Looking at picture 5 I guess we now know what an Assassins Creed game set in the 70's would look like.

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