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A SPECIAL GALLERY OF SINCLAIR USER COVERS...

10/8/2016

13 Comments

 
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Though it eventually became the sort of whimsical 80s games magazine that many of us recall with fondness, Sinclair User began life as a more serious computing publication, dedicated to all things ZX81 and Spectrum.

Here we present a gallery of some of the magazine's finest early covers, in honour of the ZX Spectrum Vega project getting into some difficulty...
This "Bumper Christmas Issue" couldn't be more exciting.

​As if the cover image of two nondescript children carrying some gold foil and a ZX81 wasn't sufficiently thrilling, this issue also promises "Searle's thoughts on the future", a feature on the limitation of imports, and the announcement of who won the cricket competition!!!!

Who did win? Perhaps it was Searle himself!
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These six look like they're in the sort of gang that you'd find in a mid-70s Children's Film Foundation romp - potentially running their petty crime-busting operation from a den they've built out of an old tube train carriage.

​They have nicknames like Brains, Wingnut, Polecat and Searle, and known collectively as The Good Buddies Club.

The boy on the left, in the blue shirt? He just wants to be a lamprey. 

"Lamprey, stop sucking the train windows!"

<SUCK SUCK SUCK>
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Pop goes the micro, yeah? Three of these men could just about be imagined as members of a mid-80s pop group. However, one of them looks like he only had about two more decades of freedom before Operation Yewtree curtailed his activities.

The one with the curly hair and glasses appears to be a "Friend of Searle"....
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There's no way the boy in this image wasn't originally drawing a penis. Let's hope Searle doesn't catch him!
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"Searle, help me! My medication is wearing off!"
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"Calm down, Searle, calm down, la. I can't talk now, because I'm being run over by a truck, like."

Look! According to this cover, "Spectrum" has joined The Good Buddies Club! Spectrum was always our favourite character, especially in that episode where she foiled the dognappers by poisoning all the local neighbourhood dogs.
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This issue promises "Eighty Shades of Colour" - hinting at some sort of Spectrum-based S&M shenanigans within.

​Indeed, the fellow on the cover already appears to be wearing some sort of special bondage harness and stirrups in preparation. And he's even brandishing a cloth, to wipe up Searle's dirty drips.
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The most disturbing aspect of this image isn't that this repulsive letch appears to have been hiding in someone's bin, with romantic intentions. It's that he's wearing Searle's favourite neck scarf!
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Another rip-roaring bonanza issue, to celebrate Sinclair User's first anniversary.

From the cheery "user of the month" demanding to know who dares claim that Sinclairs are child's play, to the promised investigation into Sinclair distribution. What a jamboree! But wait... where is Searle!??
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FROM THE ARCHIVE:
​12 BOOTLEGGED 16-BIT GAMES FROM THE GOLDEN ERA OF PIRACY
10 BRILLIANTLY WRONG BOOTLEG DVD COVERS
11 LITERALLY CRAP STATUES
13 Comments
Kelvin Green link
10/8/2016 09:27:02 am

#6 is a bit worrying: "Spectrum anger grows"; anger about what? I'm also concerned by the issue's inclusion of "mindgames"; was Sinclair User a front for the CIA's project MKULTRA?

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Ste Pickford
10/8/2016 02:14:11 pm

Blimey, that was a trip down (QL) memory lane. I think I remember all of those covers.

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Paulvw
10/8/2016 03:29:18 pm

So America had the great video games crash and we had Sinclair User. Oh Man, the 80's were rough.

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David W
10/8/2016 04:20:40 pm

"Thank you for calling the Weird Al Appreciation Society. How may I help you today?"

"Speak up please, I can barely hear you over the traffic..."

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Frank Chickens
10/8/2016 04:33:55 pm

#9 is going to be in so much trouble when Mr. T finds out.

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Penyrolewen
10/8/2016 07:11:32 pm

I don't remember any of the covers although I did read Sinclair User- preferred Crash though. Better covers too! Incidentally, my brother sometimes works with Oliver Frey, who did those covers, and I was not surprised, looking back at some of them, to find that Frey is also very 'big' in the gay art scene.
To return to Sinclair User, I don't remember the covers but I DO remember Battle 1917 (on the 'pop' cover). I typed that bugger in at least 3 times, debugged it, checked it myself (wasn't too bad at BASIC) but did I ever get it to run? Of course not. Thanks for all THOSE wasted hours, Searle.

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charlie link
10/8/2016 09:59:11 pm

Aww man. This has made me feel all wistful about Searle. Can't somebody bring him/her back?

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chalrie link
10/8/2016 10:01:35 pm

It's a him. And there's a beard involved.

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Stay
10/8/2016 11:34:47 pm

Issue 11 - "Home arcades the next craze" yeap they certainly are and sometime in the next year I hope to build one of my very own barcade table top.

Tis proof the more things change they more they stay the same. Just like the political shift to the right. We will know when we get their because the term craze will be fully resurrected.

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Dan Whitehead
11/8/2016 08:41:26 am

I think we can all agree that even in these dark days, the biggest backwards step the human race ever took was not putting more Morris Dancers on the cover of computer magazines.

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Granthon Peep
11/8/2016 01:16:25 pm

One of my earliest and thrillingest computer-stuff memories is of my Da' taking whole long boring evenings to type in the listing to "Award-winning Battle 1917" (#4, May 1984,) and somehow eventually getting it all to work right. The @ sign represented tanks, I think; your forces were at the top, and the computer-controlled ones at the bottom, and in-between was (randomly generated?) terrain of bare earth, marshland, forest, rivers.

Pretty sure it required an on-screen key to decipher what all the symbols meant.

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Penyrolewen
11/8/2016 01:37:49 pm

Your dad must have been a genius! Glad it was worth all his effort. I used to love typing in programs- this was before I could afford to buy games, when buying a book containing 25 program listings represented far better value for money.

I remember 'sink the Bismarck' with particular fondness. Your 'cannon' was at the bottom left of the screen. It was invisible. There was a line of dark blue to represent the sea and the rest of the screen was light blue (or 'cyan'). The Bismarck, represented by 4 blocks, appeared randomly along the sea. You typed in a value for angle of trajectory then a value for velocity. A trail of dots then traced the path of your shell. If it hit the ship, you got a congratulatory message.

This was around the time of the Falklands conflict, and, awfully, my brother and I changed the code so the game was called 'sink the belgrano' and the congratulations read 'ole! Glug'.....

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PaulEMoz link
11/8/2016 09:01:48 pm

That one with the Morris dancer on the cover must have been the lowest-selling issue of all time.

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