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A DAY IN THE LIFE: SUPER MARIO

18/9/2015

7 Comments

 
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So, Mario is 30. Nintendo's iconic bouncing plumber has reached his third decade. But how much do we know about him when he isn't having adventures? 

We know he's a plumber. We know he's Italian-American, and likes coins, and has a brother called Luigi... but that's about it.

Mario very kindly agreed to take us through an average day in his life - at last shedding light on this enigma of video gaming.

7.45AM
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"Woo-hoo! It's a-me - Mario - in-a my little-a-bed! I'm a-havin' a dream-a about-a my a-brother Luigi. Stupid-a Luigi is-a-up-in-a-tree a-drinking a-shampoo. Silly-a-Luigi! Time to a-wake-a-up-a, Mario! You got a big-a-day ahead of you!"
8.15AM
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"Breakfast time! For my a-breakfast-a I have-a the big-a bowl of a-mushrooms. Super greasy, just how I a-like-a-them!"
8.47AM
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"Now it's a-time to a-go to a-work in my Super Mario Kar! Woo-hoo!"
10.33AM
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"Here's a-my big-a-job of the day - at a the Council-a Thrift Shop! The lady on-a-the-phone said they got-a blocked-a pipe-a. Woo-hoo! My speciality!"
10.42AM
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"Uh-oh! This is-a-big-a job than I expected! They got a real-a-big-a-blockage of-a-da-poopee! They even-a-selling it for-a $1.99. Who's-a-gonna buy-a-that!? Not-a-me! Whoo-hoo!"
12.57PM
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"Phew! All done! Now-a-I just-a-gotta clean up-a-my-hands!"
1.46PM
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"Woo-hoo! Lunch-a-time! But uh-oh - the restaurant-a-say they gotta close. Not-a-problem. I just-a-go into the forest to find-a-some wild mushrooms. Deeeeelicious!"
2.51PM
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"Ohhh... ohh... I don't-a-feel-a-so-good..."
3.10PM
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"What's-a-happening to-a-me?!"
3.33PM
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"I don't-a-like-a-thiiiiiiiss!"
5.16PM
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"Phew! That's-a-better. Hey - what's-a-this? It's-a-the-pet-a-shop. Let's-a-go-inside!"
5.18PM
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"Yes! Puppies! I-a-love-a-the little fluffy guys! I should-a-get-a-one for Peach!"
5.20PM
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"Hey - what's-a-that-cute-kid a-looking at in that-a-tank?"
5.21PM
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"TURTLES!!!!"
5.23PM
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"I take-a-that-a-tank outside and I-a-smash-it-a-to-pieces! Take that, stupid-a-turtles!"
5.24PM
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"And then the-a-pet-a-shop-a-man come-a-out-of-a-the-shop and he starts-a-shouting, saying 'Why-a-you-do-this?! What-is-a-wrong-a-with-you?!', and I say "I hate-a-the-turtles! I'm-a-gonna kill them all! Every-a-last-one-of-a-them in-a-the-Mushroom Kingdom!'. And he says 'What are you even-a-talking about!? What-a-Mushroom-a-Kingdom?'"
5.25PM
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"So I need a power-up a-pretty-a-fast, so I start-a-banging my-a-head against the bricks! But - uh-oh! - no power-up or a-coins come out of-a-the-bricks! And the pet-a-shop-a-man he says 'You're a-out-of-your-mind, a-buddy! You're are-a-seriously wrong-in-a-the-head', and he goes a-back-into-the-a-shop-a!". Mama mia! What a day!"
5.55PM
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"So I-a-go-back-a-home, and I make-a-the-nice-a-bowl of mushrooms for my-a-dinner. Woo-hoo!"
7.18PM
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"Good-a-night-a, everybody!"
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
  • 12 LUCKY KIDS WHO COULDN'T BE HAPPIER ABOUT THEIR MARIO FACE PAINTING
  • 10 MOST HORRIFYING VIDEO GAME COSPLAYERS
  • 10 REAL-LIFE SUPER MARIOS
7 Comments
lilock3
18/9/2015 12:05:39 pm

Looking forward to "A Day in the Life: Bowser"; I imagine he gets into some scapes, that rascal!

Reply
Simon
18/9/2015 03:09:03 pm

This is the funniest thing you have ever put up on here (even better than the spoons)

Reply
Mr Biffo
18/9/2015 05:03:11 pm

Huzzah! It's been oddly ignored though, compared to some other recent stuff.

Reply
Granthon Y
18/9/2015 07:21:17 pm

I was not hopeful. Then I saw the poo. Oh man!

Reply
ChorltonWheelie
18/9/2015 07:38:06 pm

It's not been "Oddly Ignored" (the name of my new single by the way); it's Omarta.

" Funny-a-how? I-a-mean, funny-a-like-o I'm-a-clown-a? I amuse-a-you? I-a-make-a you laugh? I'm-a-here to fuckin'-a amuse-o you? How-a-da fuck-a-am I funny-o? What-a-da fuck-a-is-a so funny about-a me-o? Tell-a-me. Tell-a-me what's-a funny."



Reply
Mr Biffo
18/9/2015 07:57:26 pm

Chorlton's gone mental.

Reply
TANK THUNDERCHILD
23/9/2015 08:37:36 pm

3:33 pm :)

Reply



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