It's the quietest time of the year for the video games industry.
With very few games being released, and precious little in the way of big announcements, now is the perfect time to catch up on all those things you've been putting off.
Here are seven activities you could be doing instead of just sitting around waiting for things to pick up again.
With very few games being released, and precious little in the way of big announcements, now is the perfect time to catch up on all those things you've been putting off.
Here are seven activities you could be doing instead of just sitting around waiting for things to pick up again.
7. ORGANISE YOUR WASPS
Let's face it, you should've done this months ago; the wasps are just lying around everywhere, getting in the way, and clogging up your domestic apparatus. Organising them into some sort of order is way overdue.
There are many different methods for organising your wasps - by size, thickness of stripe, pitch of buzz, stingability - but we recommend sorting them alphabetically by name, from Alphabeat-12 to Zzzzz-zuzzzxy-z.
Old egg cartons make the perfect storage for wasps, and are easily labelled; simply pop a wasp in each carton compartment. Just don't forget to mark the cartons "WASPS", or you might mistake them for eggs, and accidentally attempt to make an omelette out of them (warning: you will get stang).
There are many different methods for organising your wasps - by size, thickness of stripe, pitch of buzz, stingability - but we recommend sorting them alphabetically by name, from Alphabeat-12 to Zzzzz-zuzzzxy-z.
Old egg cartons make the perfect storage for wasps, and are easily labelled; simply pop a wasp in each carton compartment. Just don't forget to mark the cartons "WASPS", or you might mistake them for eggs, and accidentally attempt to make an omelette out of them (warning: you will get stang).
6. TRAVEL BACK IN TIME TO SAVE THE LIFE OF YOUR MEDIEVAL ANCESTOR.
It's summer in 1146AD at the moment, so it's the perfect time for a short break.
Just don't come back until you've saved the life of your ancestor, Jemrambledam the Boastful - a ghastly gothic ponce, who you should prevent from drowning in a trough at the first available opportunity. Let's face it - you're going to have to do it one day, and there's no time like the present (or should that be... the past?! LOL!)...!
Fail to do so, and you might return home to find that you and your entire family line have ceased to exist! Très embarrassant!
Just don't come back until you've saved the life of your ancestor, Jemrambledam the Boastful - a ghastly gothic ponce, who you should prevent from drowning in a trough at the first available opportunity. Let's face it - you're going to have to do it one day, and there's no time like the present (or should that be... the past?! LOL!)...!
Fail to do so, and you might return home to find that you and your entire family line have ceased to exist! Très embarrassant!
5. TRACK THE WEIRD BIRD BACK TO ITS LAIR
The weird bird has been coming into your garden more and more, causing trouble. Only last week he knocked over your ornamental sundial and unravelled your tarps, and the week before that he gave your mother-in-law a strange, gentle nibble on her abdomen.
Why not use these quiet months to track the bird back to its subterranean lair so that you can bung up its hole with tissue paper - and then bung up the entrance to its lair with tissue paper?
Why not use these quiet months to track the bird back to its subterranean lair so that you can bung up its hole with tissue paper - and then bung up the entrance to its lair with tissue paper?
4. CHANGE YOUR EATING HABITS
Forget faddy diets; why not change your eating habits for good? By replacing all the foods you don't like (vegetables, fruit, pulses etc.) with things that you do like (dills, sild, Daddy's Sauce etc.) this is one diet that you're guaranteed to stick to!
3. LEARN A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT
There's a whole universe of music waiting to be mastered by you, so what's stopping you? Sure, you could learn to play one of the boring instruments - piano, piccolo, guitar etc. - but why not choose one of the more unusual, esoteric instruments to learn, such as the phontoon, the Jamaican rub-a-dub, or acoustic-electric mobbler?
You're bound to be the hit of your next family gathering when you whip out your mobbler, and give it a series of firm strums.
You're bound to be the hit of your next family gathering when you whip out your mobbler, and give it a series of firm strums.
2. UNLEARN A MUSICAL INSTRUMENT
As difficult as it is to learn a new musical instrument, it's even harder to unlearn it immediately afterwards. You'll waste months just trying to get all that information out of your brain!
1. APPLY FOR YOUR DEATH CERTIFICATE.
Unfortunately, without a council-approved death certificate, you won't legally be able to die. Don't put off filling out your death certificate paperwork until your old age - get it out of the way now, and you won't ever have to worry about it again.
Simply fill in your personal details, select your preferred date, and choose your cause of death. Why not go for one of the more unusual options, such as "head crushed in by strongman", "slithered into path of steamroller", or "choked to death on glove puppet"?
Simply fill in your personal details, select your preferred date, and choose your cause of death. Why not go for one of the more unusual options, such as "head crushed in by strongman", "slithered into path of steamroller", or "choked to death on glove puppet"?
RSS Feed
