While we've nothing against people doing intentionally bad things for the sniffs and the giggles (just look at this website, for pity's sake), there's something a tad irritating when it's merely being done with the sole intention of provoking some whooping YouTuber into making a Let's Play video.
Nevertheless, it's a trend that seems determined to continue, and we felt it was about time somebody made a list of some of these so-called "joke" games.
Why? Because these days, lists are all anyone reads. Want to get the kids into religion? Just bring out a new version of The Bible that's written entirely in listicle form: "10 Things Jesus Did At The Wedding In Cana LOL"! Plus, let's not forget that God started all this list nonsense with his so-called "10 Commandments You Totes Need To Obey".
Finally: does anyone know the number of a good anus doctor? It's for a friend (his name is "Sphinctus Bum-Tear").
Depressingly, the five games in question - a couple of them featuring a laser beam-emitting dog, a mediocre fruit machine, a barely functioning racing game, and a thing involving an uncontrollable weasel - weren't even bad enough to warrant being awarded a so-bad-they're-good label. This was one of those bad things that was just plain bad. You know: like finding an old leather glove in a bin, and sucking the fingers in front of your mother.
Our struggles with Trespass have never quite left us, and we can confirm that both games play in an eerily similar way (basically, picking up objects merely knocks over other objects, and - in this instance - typically leads to the death of your patient). Ripe YouTube fodder; it's like an episode of casualty as filmed by a drunk with a GoPro.
Apparently, over a million copies of Goat Simulator have now been sold, proving that bad can sometimes be good if you do something sufficiently bad. Although, we suspect that line might not stand up in court.
Typically, this leads to them behind dragged across the ground, or literally disappearing off screen. We have submitted a proposal to the Olympic Committee for future Olympic events to adopt this bungee method.
On the plus side, doing well at this game allows you to proclaim that you have "Bear skills, bruv". We suggest you follow-up this statement by removing your own head with a bread knife.
Ostensibly a sort of open-world survival horror game, the tone is all over the place - supposedly dramatic scenes are underscored by jaunty music, the dialogue is burdened with non-sequiturs, the plot lurches from one weird, conversational encounter to another, it's full of bugs and quirks, and the main character seems to suffer from some sort of profound mental illness.
It's an utter mess, yet somehow Deadly Premonition is more than the sum of its parts - whether there's self-awareness behind it is anybody's guess, but it succeeds in somehow massaging a ramshackle collection of awful elements into a peculiarly entertaining classic of its genre. That genre being 'games designed by lunatics'.