
Then again, for every three good Star Wars films there seem to be three terrible Star Wars films, so... y'know. Stuff.
Anyhow, having displayed to you the good of Star Wars gaming, now we drag the bad into the light: the most bad Star Wars games ever made.
Of course, the "highlight" of Star Wars Kinect - a collection of barely-playable mini games - was the Dance-Off. If you ever wanted to be a hot-stepping Darth Vader, Boba Fett or Han Solo, and prance along to horrible, pun-led remixes of modern chart hits, then please throw yourself off a cliff. It's people like you who were responsible for this ghastly travesty of entertainment.
Ever heard of cognitive dissonance theory? It's a bit of a thing these days - a way to explain how people can hold two contradictory beliefs or values, and how they cope with that. Ie; "I can't possibly be a misogynist... I'm fighting for ethics in game journalism... I'd never try to emotionally destroy someone through social media for no valid reason - I'm a good person".
Basically, we so couldn't believe that a Star Wars film could be so bad that we dissociated, and made excuses for it. We still remember stumbling out of the cinema in a bit of a confused daze, trying to find the few decent moments to focus on.
It was probably a full year or two before we could finally accept the sheer awfulness of what we'd just witnessed.
Which is a shame, as a proper, full-blooded, Star Wars racing game should be a thing of wonder. We've yet to get that, though - despite a few disappointing efforts (Pod Racer wasn't half bad). Instead we got this: bobble-headed versions of Queen Amidala and Darth Maul speeding through Munchkinland.
Bits of this one-on-one fighter kind of worked - we're still holding out for a fighting game that revolves entirely around lightsabres - but then you'd have full-on punch-ups between, say, a laser sword-armed Darth Vader and a bare-fisted Princess Leia. Which we could've forgiven if, say, the game had been a bit better. But it wasn't. It just made us cry into our Return of the Jedi cereal bowls.
Considering the game was called Yoda Stories, it featured barely any Yoda and no story. Admittedly, it was designed to be a quick desktop distraction, but the later Game Boy Color version highlighted just how weak and repetitive it was. Star Wars should be big and epic, and widescreen - reducing it to the size, metaphorically speaking, of a damp postage stamp, just misses the point.
FROM THE ARCHIVE: