Every year when I do a series of E3 round-up articles - whether it's tongue-in-cheek or sincere - it gets less hits than if I just put a list of a old things for you to remember.
In all honesty, I might not bother next time. I have a love/hate thing when it comes to E3 anyway. I mean, I've never visited the show... but I find the online coverage - the pre-show presentations - overwhelming enough as it is.
And not just overwhelming... but underwhelming. When I see all the new games rolled out in a production line, for me it just highlights the weaknesses in the approach of where the industry is at currently.
Here are six reasons in particular why this year's E3 left me feeling disenchanted.
In all honesty, I might not bother next time. I have a love/hate thing when it comes to E3 anyway. I mean, I've never visited the show... but I find the online coverage - the pre-show presentations - overwhelming enough as it is.
And not just overwhelming... but underwhelming. When I see all the new games rolled out in a production line, for me it just highlights the weaknesses in the approach of where the industry is at currently.
Here are six reasons in particular why this year's E3 left me feeling disenchanted.
SUPER SMASH BROS. ULTIMATE
So, there's a new Smash Bros. - Super Smash Bros. Ultimate - on the way, which includes every character who has ever appeared in the series, including all the ones not owned by Nintendo. I've never gotten into Smash Bros., despite trying my best - it feels like a chaotic, random, mess, the outcome of battles being dependent on the luck of the button-mash more than anything else.
Nintendo's interminable big announcement mostly focused on the fact that Ridley's going to be in it. Who's Ridley? The big alien boss from Metroid. Right... and? That sound you hear is my shoulders shrugging so hard that I almost dislocated my arms.
I get that Smash Bros. fans have been asking for years that Ridley be a playable character, but is that really the element Nintendo should be pushing as Ultimate's USP? Judging from the mindless cacophony of online whooping... maybe it is.
Still, given that the game is essentially a special edition of Wii U Smash Bros., it's literally "Malibu Stacy - NOW WITH NEW HAT!!!!!"
Also: if this is Nintendo's sole big Switch release for the remainder of the year... sod them.
Nintendo's interminable big announcement mostly focused on the fact that Ridley's going to be in it. Who's Ridley? The big alien boss from Metroid. Right... and? That sound you hear is my shoulders shrugging so hard that I almost dislocated my arms.
I get that Smash Bros. fans have been asking for years that Ridley be a playable character, but is that really the element Nintendo should be pushing as Ultimate's USP? Judging from the mindless cacophony of online whooping... maybe it is.
Still, given that the game is essentially a special edition of Wii U Smash Bros., it's literally "Malibu Stacy - NOW WITH NEW HAT!!!!!"
Also: if this is Nintendo's sole big Switch release for the remainder of the year... sod them.
WHY DO MOST TRIPLE-A GAMES LOOK ALIKE?
It doesn't matter whether they're set in medieval times, or a fantasy realm, or outer space, or the present day... games have become sort of homogenised. I dunno if they're all using the same lighting and specular effects, but this hyper-realism is making games blend into one, big, amorphous mass for me.
It doesn't help that we basically only get games set in forests, post-apocalyptic cities, or shiny sci-fi super-bases. I'm so bored of climbing up mountains, watching sunsets, and getting lost in the woods. I'm desperate for games to employ some of the creative thinking you see from Hollywood. Genre has seemingly been replaced by off-the-peg locations, into which they plug no small amount of chaos.
It's notable that the only big, big game which has stood out to me thus far is Kojima's Death Stranding - because it uses a clear, less-is-more, approach that allows the production design to really come to the fore. The atmosphere showcased in its trailer is entirely different to everything else.
It doesn't help that we basically only get games set in forests, post-apocalyptic cities, or shiny sci-fi super-bases. I'm so bored of climbing up mountains, watching sunsets, and getting lost in the woods. I'm desperate for games to employ some of the creative thinking you see from Hollywood. Genre has seemingly been replaced by off-the-peg locations, into which they plug no small amount of chaos.
It's notable that the only big, big game which has stood out to me thus far is Kojima's Death Stranding - because it uses a clear, less-is-more, approach that allows the production design to really come to the fore. The atmosphere showcased in its trailer is entirely different to everything else.
I DON'T LIKE HOW THE INDUSTRY REVELS IN VIOLENCE
This really leapt out at me this year - particularly when it came to the Microsoft and Sony panels. There was a lot of blood on show, a lot of death, a lot of particularly brutal and gratuitous violence. Yeah, we get violent TV shows and movies, but do they ever bother showing violence in such detail in trailers?
I dunno. It made me feel a bit sad, and - if I'm honest - slightly ashamed of the industry that we're still in a place where gore and brutality is seen as a key selling point of the experiences on offer.
It really jumps out when the games are all rolled out side-by-side, as they tend to be at E3, and they go from one balletic gore sequence or grunty, real-life-ish, murder to the next. Games could be so much more.
I dunno. It made me feel a bit sad, and - if I'm honest - slightly ashamed of the industry that we're still in a place where gore and brutality is seen as a key selling point of the experiences on offer.
It really jumps out when the games are all rolled out side-by-side, as they tend to be at E3, and they go from one balletic gore sequence or grunty, real-life-ish, murder to the next. Games could be so much more.
CUT-SCENES... SO MANY CUT-SCENES...
Admittedly, there was a clear, concerted move towards showing more actual gameplay at the big press conferences (almost too much gameplay at times; some Sony demos went on for ten minutes, and the Super Smash Bros. Ultimate one seemed to last about a week).
Nevertheless, a lot of games were represented purely by cinematic sequences. Some of them were very good - Beyond Good & Evil 2, for instance - but a lot of them were the same old po-faced, darkly-lit, gravitas (Shadow of the Tomb Raider, say).
It doesn't matter how good your cut-scenes are, games are an interactive medium. We play with them - we don't sit back and simply watch them. It baffles me that so many titles are still being hyped on the strength of their cinematic alone. And how depressing that the cinematics tend to showcase such shallow, terrible writing - all striving for a sense of heavy, world-ending, portent... or - in a few notably wince-inducing instances - going for wacky.
Even in 2018, games still struggle to feature mature storytelling, and they really fail to do comedy.
Nevertheless, a lot of games were represented purely by cinematic sequences. Some of them were very good - Beyond Good & Evil 2, for instance - but a lot of them were the same old po-faced, darkly-lit, gravitas (Shadow of the Tomb Raider, say).
It doesn't matter how good your cut-scenes are, games are an interactive medium. We play with them - we don't sit back and simply watch them. It baffles me that so many titles are still being hyped on the strength of their cinematic alone. And how depressing that the cinematics tend to showcase such shallow, terrible writing - all striving for a sense of heavy, world-ending, portent... or - in a few notably wince-inducing instances - going for wacky.
Even in 2018, games still struggle to feature mature storytelling, and they really fail to do comedy.
INDIE GAME OVERLOAD
Microsoft seemed so keen to brag that it was showcasing 50 new games at E3 that it pumped out half of them in a bewildering montage. Rather than get me excited, it just made me miserable that so many indie games - most of which looked far more original and interesting than the big tentpole releases - were being given such short shrift.
That said, the one game which really stood out to me amid Microsoft's barrage (because it was one of the few non-franchise titles they actually dedicated some time to) was Tunic - an isometric, Zelda-like RPG. It's telling that it's the work of one person.
That said, the one game which really stood out to me amid Microsoft's barrage (because it was one of the few non-franchise titles they actually dedicated some time to) was Tunic - an isometric, Zelda-like RPG. It's telling that it's the work of one person.
WE'RE ALL SO ENTITLED
And that includes me. We live in a time of unprecedented choice and unprecedented quality. There has never been a better time to be into video games. There's something for everyone - from small, quirky, innovative titles, to the hugest blockbusters. Enormous teams work for years on these massive, expensive, immersive experiences... and yet, still all we ever do is complain. We're the worst.
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