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5 ORIGINAL VIDEO GAME APOCALYPSES

15/5/2015

6 Comments

 
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As some of you may be aware, Mad Max: Fury Road is released in cinemas this weekend. Fuelling our never-ending lust for post-apocalyptic fiction, the  Mad Max series can take credit for inspiring countless post-apocalyptic video games

Borderlands, Fallout, Stalker, Rage - it just never gets old... although it does sometimes feel as if originality is in as short supply following the fall of civilisation as oil, water and soap.

Still, we've trawled the mutant-infested wastelands to find five post-apocalyptic video games that attempted to do things differently.

5. 8 EYEBALLS
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NES platformer 8 Eyeballs is set hundreds of years in the future, in a world ruled by the Great King, who wields the power of eight magical gems - the eyeballs of the title - that were forged in the heart of eight nuclear explosions. 

Unfortunately, eight "Evil Dukes" have stolen the Eight Eyeballs, and banished the Great King to the wastelands. Enter Orin the Falconer and his pet bird, Cutrus (like "citrus" but more unwieldy to pronounce), who is the only one who can reunite the Eyeballs on the Altar of Peace, by first entering the House of Ruth. Or something. 

It's like the weird fever dream of somebody who went to bed after eating a lemon, and reading 'Seven Brides For Seven Brothers' while on acid.
4. FUTURE TATICS
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In the interests of full disclosure, it should be mentioned that Digitiser2000's Mr Biffo wrote the script for ZedTwo's Future Tactics.

Despite that, even he doesn't really know what the story was all about - something to do with the entire multiverse being a computer simulation, and some machine that had malfunctioned and inadvertently rewritten the 'code' of our universe so that it resembled a sort of quasi-medieval fantasy realm. Also there were aliens, and a robot called Wardwarf. And a main character called Low, who was named after the David Bowie album. 

Who knows what it was all about? That's what happens when you try to be too original and clever for your own good.
3. HATOFUL BOYFRIEND
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A dating sim involving super-intelligent birds, who have taken over the world after mankind is almost completely wiped out by a mutated strain of bird flu. The game takes place in a high school called St PigeoNation's Institute.

It's basically Planet of the Apes, but with loved-up birds going on dates.
2. S.C.A.T. - SPECIAL CYBERNETIC ATTACK TEAM
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A bog-standard, post-alien invasion apocalypse riff, notable for its fantastically-named main antagonist Vile Marmort, the blatant naming of its protagonists (Arnold and Sigourney), and the equally blatant innuendo of the title. It's a shame there was never a sequel called Special Hyper Invasion Team, or P.I.S.S. Squad, or something.
1. ROGUE TRIP: VACATION 2012
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Do you remember where you went on holiday in 2012? We went to Somerset, and ate fish and chips, and got bitten by a horse.

It was nothing like Rogue Trip: Vacation 2012, which is more Mad Max via Crazy Taxi - with players embarking on vehicular duels in a variety of bizarre transports (including the hot dog-themed truck above). Whereas many post-apocalyptic games feature players fighting over food, medical supplies or ammunition, Vacation 2012 made tourism the most fought-over commodity of the future. 

Like a bunch of demented travel agents, the combatants are squabbling over tourists - who must be kidnapped, and forced to tour the crumbling, hellish sights of the space-year 2012 AD.


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6 Comments
lilock3
15/5/2015 07:16:37 am

Wow. Roll on 2012. Looking forward to it!

Reply
lordmitz
15/5/2015 10:50:02 am

cough cough carmageddon cough cough

Reply
Penyrolewen
15/5/2015 04:40:27 pm

How about 'Apocalypse'? A turn based, 2 player only, war game with nukes on the Speccy. Published by Red Shift. I bought the expansion tapes and everything. Spent many hours playing against myself, naming my ships, army units etc. in a little book. Wow. I really was a spod. But it's alright now, I just write about it on niche websites- oh, hang on...

Reply
Leigh
15/5/2015 05:19:52 pm

For some inexplicable reason, I thought that typing PISS Squad into Google might genuinely reward me with an obscure Japanese retro game and not, you know, just a bunch of people who have a marvellous time pissing in each others' eyes.

Reply
LeighDappa
16/5/2015 08:50:37 am

Best Comment of the Year so far.

:-D

Reply
penyrolewen
16/5/2015 02:50:51 pm

I knew a woman once, in the earlyish days of the net,, who tried to find discount cigarettes online. Cheap fags... Really. She did. Mind you, I was shocked myself once when a kid in a class of 7 year olds I was teaching googled ’polar bear' for an animal project. If you don't know, try it- and then live with that image.




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