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21 AWKWARD OLD ALBUM COVERS

3/6/2016

5 Comments

 
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The art of the album cover isn't what it was. Indeed, now that most of us download or stream our music, there's precious little need for any album artwork whatsoever. Back in the day, part of the ritual of getting a new vinyl record was studying the cover, reading the sleeve notes, the lyrics.

Of course, audio spods are bringing the vinyl back, insisting that the sound quality is better than CD or MP3. Frankly, though, we can't tell the difference. But maybe that's because our ears are blocked with a mixture of leaf mulch and "daub".

In tribute to the golden era of album covers, here are 21 that are best left here: in the past.
21. WHITE PEOPLE. MAN. NO WONDER SO MANY OF THEM ARE RACISTS. THEY'VE GOT FAFF ALL ELSE GOING FOR THEM.
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20. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE COVER NEEDS? A BADLY-DRAWN MICKEY MOUSE AND A FLOATING CARTOON FOETUS..."
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19. THE SHAKERS BREAK IT ALL... SPECIFICALLY, LAWS PERTAINING TO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT AND IDENTITY THEFT.
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18. VLADAMIR PUTIN DOESN'T LOOK HAPPY THAT TED CRUZ IS COMING ONTO HIS MISSUS.
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17. IN WHICH MAXIMUM IMPACT WAS ACHIEVED BY GETTING ROD THE SOD TO DRESS UP AS AN AIDS AWARENESS RIBBON.
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16. MATE, THEY'RE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.
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15. NO, XIU XIU.
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14. WHEN THE LINES BETWEEN SEXY AND SEXUAL PREDATOR BECOME BLURRED.
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13. RHETORICAL QUESTION? "BO SELECTA" WOULD'VE EARNED HIM BIG KUDOS.
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12. IN WHICH WHITNEY DOUGH ANSWERS THE QUESTION "WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO PUT THAT TROMBONE?".
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11. "LOOK AT IT. LOOK AT THE MEATINESS. IT'S A BIG OLD THICK ONE. I REFER, OF COURSE, TO MY BELT."
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10. L-R: PEANUT, CASHEW, DWAYNE, WAYNE and TOT.
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9. "I'M LEAVING YOU, ALLA. YOU'RE SUPERMAN EVERY NIGHT AND EVERY DAY, AND I'VE HAD ENOUGH. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE NORMAL? ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?"

"UP UP AND AWAY!"

"FML."

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8. THOSE ARE KKK HOODS, RIGHT? THAT'S NOT JUST A COINCIDENCE? THAT IS WHAT THEY ARE ISN'T IT? "HA! HA!".
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7. "I'VE COME ABOUT THE CBEEBIES JOB..."
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6. PRESUMABLY, "LANE STEINBERG  & HIS MASSIVELY SWOLLEN HEAD & HIS MALNOURISHED PEGASUS" WAS TOO UNWIELDY.
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5. WE DON'T NEED TO KNOW THAT, CONWAY.
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4. "CLAPPING THE FOOL" - TRADITIONALLY, THE HAPPIEST OF OCCASIONS.
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3. THE MIRACLE BEING THAT TATTOO FROM FANTASY ISLAND JUST MATERIALISED SPONTANEOUSLY, WEARING A DRESS AND HOLDING A ROCKET-PROPELLED GRENADE.
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2. CREEPY ENOUGH... AND THEN YOU NOTICE THE KNIFE.
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1. JUST CALL IT WHAT IT IS, MISTER POOPSY: DIARRHOEA.
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FROM THE ARCHIVE:
20 VINTAGE ALBUM COVERS THAT MIGHT MAKE YOU FEEL ILL
20 VINTAGE ALBUM COVERS THAT'LL UPSET YOUR STOMACH
ANOTHER 21 TERRIBLE OLD ALBUM COVERS
5 Comments
Paul Jon Thrillin'
3/6/2016 12:43:31 pm

Laverne Tripp's knife! Whose neck do you think he'll puncture first?

Coluche? Loluche? Whatever it is, it is frightening.

And I love Xiu Xiu, but that cover is a bad cover.

Reply
bit.bat
3/6/2016 02:59:22 pm

What's Laverne Tripp reading from there?

Reply
Kelvin Green link
3/6/2016 04:50:05 pm

The Necronomicon, obviously.

Reply
Cc
3/6/2016 05:34:21 pm

Great stuff, mr b.
Apart from no. 15 which is just a whole universe of wrong, though surprisingly, musically excellent.

Reply
Charlie link
3/6/2016 09:54:52 pm

Oh whatevs. That XIU XIU one is great!

Reply



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