Let's not faff around like idiots; here are all the games I'm looking forward to this year, and several I couldn't give less of a plump fig about.
They make me think of apples!
The fact that these orbs are often at the top of extremely tall buildings, and that in order to reach them you have to transform into an insanely powerful superhuman, is the USP of these games.
If I'm brutally honest, what we've seen of Crackdown 3 is all a bit neon-and-chrome for my tastes, but it looks as if it'll be more of the same tongue-in-cheek power fantasy, only even more insane-ier.
The excellent Odyssey reintroduced many of the same mechanics to the series, and while it's a splendid game - probably my favourite of 2018 - you're still not a pirate, with the funny hat, and the big coat, and the "Yaaaarrr"-ing and the doubloons, an ting.
Skull & Bones, however, is all pirates all the time. I've got a few reservations, admittedly; I worry that the focus will be too much on ship combat, whereas Black Flag and Odyssey keep it varied with your shore excursions. Nevertheless, it's certainly gorgeous, and that seawater looks good enough to drink.
Mmm. So good. So salty...
The first game ended on a cliffhanger unlike any you'll find elsewhere; specifically, an emotional cliffhanger. That's what Naughty Dog do best; the action beats, just like in the best movies, have an emotional foundation. It's never just action for the sake of it; they make you care.
And I care very much about The Last of Us Part 2.
What gets me excited isn't so much that EA listened to all those who want a decent, story-led, single-player Star Wars game in the wake of the risible "That'll do" nature of Battlefront 2's single player campaign, so much as it's being developed by the studio responsible for the Titanfall series.
Titanfall 2 had one of the best single-player adventures since Half-Life 2 - a salvo of clever ideas and original action. Surely there's nothing more true to the spirit of Star Wars than that?
And yet, somehow, it's getting a sequel. I can't say I loved Rage, and all the glimpses of Rage 2 so far have felt like it's trying a bit too hard to be edgy, but I nonetheless played Rage a lot during a rough few months, and consequently I've got a soft spot for it.
Just pull back on the crunching rock guitars, yeah? It doesn't make you seem any cooler.
Metro: Exodus takes the series out of the Moscow subways and puts the action into open countryside. Whether it can reverse the malaise I feel towards open world forests and mountains remains to be seen, but if they can keep the tension as high as the previous games, then I remain optimistic.
It'll be huge, of course.
Kojima fails to explain: "Most of your tools in action games are sticks. You punch or you shoot or you kick. The communication is always through these ‘sticks.’ In this, I want people to be connected not through sticks, but through what would be the equivalent of ropes. But of course you will be able to use the sticks too.”