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20 VINTAGE ALBUM COVERS THAT'LL UPSET YOUR STOMACH

28/9/2015

12 Comments

 
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​We miss the days of the vinyl LP - when album art was something special, and could be pored over while listening to the accompanying music.

​Of course, album art has been on a downward trajectory ever since CDs were released - and now, with the advent of streaming, it's more or less irrelevant. 

But still - as these 20 painfully misguided artworks attest - not every album could be an Unknown Pleasures, a Darkside of the Moon, or The Velvet Underground & Nico...

20. JIMMY RHODES PLAYS FOR DEBORAH
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"Keep playing, Mr Rhodes, or I won't tell you where I buried Snuggles - and she's fast running out of air..."
19. FREDDIE GAGE - ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAD
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"When I say dead they're not literally dead. They're just dead to me. That'll teach them not to invite me to Hank's baptism."
18. SAVETA JOVANOVIC - LAZNOJE, LAZNO, SVESTO JETVOJE
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"I have my father's legs. And a bearskin hat."
17. SHUT UP AND DANCE - DANCE BEFORE THE POLICE COME!
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"Oh man! We're were so busy murdering everyone in the club, we forgot to do our special dancing..." 
16. HEINO
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"Heino loves the poodles. Heino has one... two... three of the poodles."
15. LIONEL BLAIR - AEROBIC DANCING
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"Look at me, everyone! I'm on an album! Look at me! I said look at me - look: I'm doing stuff!"
14. BOYS TOWN GANG - CAN'T TAKE MY EYES OFF YOU
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"No. She's slipping down again, lads. You're just going to have to support her upright, or we're never getting through this."
13. WASNATCH - FRONT TO BACK
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"Blow harder, Wasnatch - you still haven't dislodged all of the pork pie."
12. THE AFTERNOON TEA-BAGGERS - JOY
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"Is it after midday yet...?"
11. MARIA LEONORA - FORSAKEN DOLL
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"Parklife!"
10. DON & SAL - MAKE ROOM FOR JESUS
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"If you don't think His hands will fit, Sal, you'll just have to make room..."
9. DAVE McKENNA/THE WILBUR LITTLE QUARTER - OIL & VINEGAR
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"There's no point complaining. You were the one who wanted to go vegan... mmfff-fmmmff-mmff."
8. HARRY BREWER & HIS QUINTET - MALLET MISCHIEF
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"That's it. I've had about all I can take of your mallet mischief, Harry. Unless you tell the police what you've done, I'm ending it all!"
7. DAVID & RHONDA BEAN - SOMETHING HAPPENED TO DADDY
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"Why won't you tell me what happened to daddy, Uncle David?"
6. EASTMAN-ROCHESTER SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA/HOWARD HANSON - PINOCCHIO
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"I'm a-Pethefenny, Pinnocchio's a-little-a-brother! Hee hee! Pinnochio a-lives in the woodchipper now!"
5. GERHARD POLT - LEBERKAS HAWAII
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"Pineapple ring, anyone?"
4. THE MINISTERS QUARTET - LET ME TOUCH HIM
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"Go on - please."
3. TENNESSEE ERNIE FORD - HE TOUCHED ME
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"It was the one second from the left. And I loved it. Ding Dong."
2. NANCY HARMON - "DOUBLE PORTION" ALBUM
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"Why were they all laughing? I was just giving them a double portion of the organ. I wanted His spirit to be upon me... etc."
1. CATUI - IRMAO DE COR
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"It roughly translates as 'I AM looking at the camera'..."
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
20 VINTAGE ALBUM COVERS THAT MIGHT MAKE YOU FEEL ILL
15 STUPIDEST STAR WARS EXPANDED UNIVERSE CHARACTERS
15 THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH THE VIRTUSPHERE
12 Comments
Ben
28/9/2015 01:19:12 pm

I ROFLMAO'd all over the floor. Now what do I do?

Reply
gonebeface
28/9/2015 01:53:53 pm

My eyes!!!!

Reply
Paddy Hill
28/9/2015 02:27:27 pm

I thought someone had been rummaging through my collection - but I wasn't sure until this! ;)

Reply
Tarquin
28/9/2015 02:47:29 pm

It's amazing how accurate Vic and Bob were with Mulligan and O'Hare...

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Dick Wager
28/9/2015 06:24:20 pm

Thinking the same lol

Reply
SirFatty
29/9/2015 11:48:28 am

Great collection of album covers.. your *jokes* are lame at best. And I'm being generous.

Reply
MrFatty
29/9/2015 02:14:38 pm

Due to my last comment I have had my knighthood revoked.

Reply
Granthon N
29/9/2015 04:11:25 pm

Slight shenanigans on Nancy Harmon's effort:

http://www.christianaudiobooks.org/aaallen/nancyharmonft.jpg

Doesn't sound all that bad either: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fr_bTFEovyc

Reply
Chris
29/9/2015 07:43:25 pm

http://cps-static.rovicorp.com/3/JPG_400/MI0001/891/MI0001891196.jpg?partner=allrovi.com

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Alex
30/9/2015 04:40:27 pm

Loving Heino's Wikipedia entry. Apparently his family bought him an accordion in 1948, even though they were so poor they couldn't afford. it. Dammit Heino, is this how you repaid their faith???

Reply
Alex again
30/9/2015 04:43:58 pm

my God. He covered Rammstein on his last album.

And almost everyone he's had sex with (and a daughter) has died.

It's gripping stuff.

Reply
Valery Wonk
2/10/2015 03:06:20 am

All of these albums are better than "Be here now" by oasis.

Reply



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