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20 SUPER-HERO MOMENTS WE WANT TO SEE IN THE MOVIES

5/10/2015

5 Comments

 
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Some might be predicting the end of the super-hero movie, but with decades of material to cherry-pick from the comics, we can't see Marvel and Warner Bros - or whoever makes the DC Comics films - running out of steam anytime soon.

Captain America: Civil War, Doctor Strange, Batman Vs Superman, Suicide Squad, Daredevil, Jessica Jones... and on and on and on. No wonder we're all getting bored of them. "Well, you've changed your tune since the previous paragraph". SHUT UP!

Here are ten classic comic moments that we'd love to see on screen. "There aren't ten - there are twenty". BE QUIET, WHOMEVER YOU ARE!

20. SPIDER-MAN and LUKE CAGE vs PLANT MAN
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With Luke Cage - aka Power Man - soon to appear in Marvel's upcoming Netflix series Jessica Jones, and Spider-Man making his Marvel Cinematic Universe debut in Captain America: Civil War, surely this epic confrontation can't be far behind? "Coconuts to YOU!".
19. DOCTOR OCTOPUS EATS CHICKEN
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Doctor Octopus has already made an appearance in one Spider-Man movie, but if he ever appears in another we demand to see him like this: begging for other people's chicken pieces.
18. AUNT'S MAY'S STICKY SURPRISE
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Having a teenage nephew living with you can be a rollercoaster of emotions. Not least when you accidentally touch the sticky stuff that's leaking out from beneath his bedroom door. Come on, Marvel. Let's see this on screen!
17. LUKE CAGE IS A "CRAZY BLACK MAN" ACCORDING TO DOCTOR DOOM
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We can only hope that the TV version of Luke Cage is as characterful and as nuanced as he is in this comic confrontation with Latverian despot Doctor Doom.
16. THE WASP HAS ONE THING ON HER MIND
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Women, eh? Even when The Human Top is behaving like a fool they've only got one thing on their mind... We beg Marvel not to forget this should The Wasp make an appearance in the next Ant-Man movie.
15. THOR MAKES LOKI WET
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The cinematic incarnation of Loki is best known for using the somewhat frown-inducing phrase "Mewling quim". If only The Avengers had read the comics - they'd have known his nonsense could've been stopped by a simple cup of water to the face.
14. LOIS LANE CAN"T SIT DOWN
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Superman and Lois Lane are next set to appear in 2016's Batman Vs Superman. We await the scene where Lois Lane has an encounter with one of those special "night robots"...
13. EVERYONE LAUGH'S AT THE JOKER'S BONER
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The latest cinematic incarnation of The Joker is played by pop singer Jared Leto in next year's Suicide Squad. We're looking forward to seeing how many boners he can make over the course of the film's running time.
12. ROBIN EXPOSES HIMSELF
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We don't believe there's any movie on the way which features a version of Robin, Batman's youthful sidekick. Based upon this comic book scene, it's probably just as well. Dirty Robin.
11. ROBIN GETS GAY FOR DINOSAURS
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And here we find Batman berating Robin for getting gay over dinosaurs. Good grief, Batman - he's just a kid!
10. BATMAN DOES HIS BEST TO SOUND GAY
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Certainly, Batman trying his best to sound gay would be a radically different take on the character's voice than Christian Bale's gravelly rasp. We nervously await Ben Affleck's interpretation.
9. BATMAN WISHES YOU A HAPPY BIRTHDAY
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Whether it's somebody's birthday or not, we want our movie Batman to do this at least once in every scene.
8. CAPTAIN MARVEL'S ALTER-EGO DONS THE PERFECT DISGUISE
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Not to be confused with Marvel's Captain Marvel - of whom there is a movie in the way - this moment finds the DC Comics hero of the same name disguising himself as no-less a jaw-dropping figure as "Rastus Washington Brown from Alabam".
7.  WONDER WOMAN PLACES VANITY OVER FREEDOM
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Wonder Woman will also be appearing in Batman Vs Superman. Though - judging from that movie's title, and the above comic book moment - she'll be standing on the sidelines worrying about chipping the shellac on her nails.
6. KANG THE CONQUEROR PRODUCES AN IMPOSSIBLE NOISE
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We know that Doctor Who's TARDIS goes "Vworrrp! Vworrp!", but - interestingly - time travelling Marvel villain Kang the Conqueror has a weapon which makes the noise "TARDIS!". Now try imagining what that sounds like in real life.
5. THE HULK SMASHES A CAR AND IT MAKES THIS NOISE
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We all love the Hulk. But did you know he has another power besides being a real strong green guy? Indeed, he can make inanimate objects call out domestic locations just by smashing them. "LIVING ROOM!"... "KITCHEN!"... "PANTRY!". Let's get this on screen, Marvel!
4. AND HULK ISN'T THE ONLY ONE WITH THIS POWER...
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3. WONDER WOMAN'S POWERS OF MIMICRY
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If Wonder Woman doesn't mimic a slight tapping noise, by chattering her teeth, when she appears alongside Batman and Superman next year, we shall be appalled. Tap tap tap tap... "What's that? It sounded like somebody vibrating their teeth - let's get outta here!".
2. BATMAN AND ROBIN MUST PUT ON RUBBERS
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We don't know why Spider-Man's Aunt May is giving advice to Batman and Robin, but clearly she's learned a lesson or two from the incident with her nephew's sticky fluid.
1. AQUAMAN PRODUCES BITTER MILK
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And finally we comer to Aquaman - another hero who is due for an appearance in the apparently over-stuffed Batman Vs Superman. We hope that appearance is exactly as it appears in this comic panel - squirting bitter ungulate milk onto a boy.
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5 Comments
pfspleen
5/10/2015 03:47:01 pm

'ten classic comic moments'?

Good stuff again though.

Reply
pfspleen
5/10/2015 03:48:02 pm

Doh.
Nothing to see here, move along, MOVE ALONG!

Reply
Uncle Mentuss link
5/10/2015 07:52:25 pm

Only Luke Cage could get away with talking down to Doctor Doom like a pimp keeping his "ho" in order.

Reply
Stacey King
5/10/2015 08:54:09 pm

I guess when The Wasp turns up at picnic it going to take more than a rolled up news paper to dissuade him from hovering just behind your right ear and trying to land on your jam sandwich?.

Reply
colincidence link
7/10/2015 02:48:50 pm

Aquaman's boy friend has a sweet beard.

Reply



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