There's nothing more beautiful, more moving, than the miracle of birth, they insist. But "they" can't ever have witnessed a birth first hand. It's not like it is on TV you know: they don't come out looking like a well-scrubbed six month-old.
They erupt in a tsunami of human viscera and dirt, accompanied by cries and screams of distress, while at least one of the participants is off their face on drugs. It less resembles a miracle than a massacre in an opium den. Here are 20 cakes which sum it up perfectly. WARNING: Some of these images might put you off your dessert.
They erupt in a tsunami of human viscera and dirt, accompanied by cries and screams of distress, while at least one of the participants is off their face on drugs. It less resembles a miracle than a massacre in an opium den. Here are 20 cakes which sum it up perfectly. WARNING: Some of these images might put you off your dessert.
20. HOW'S YOUR NAPPYTITE?
19. "SAVE ME THE FOETUS..."
18. PUSH, VALENE, PUSH! PUSH, VALENE, PUSH! IT IS TIME FOR GOLLUM TO EMERGE.
17. WELL. SOMEBODY IS GOING TO NEED STITCHES...
16. MMMM... STRAWBERRIES AND SPRINKLES.
15. "I AM COMING FOR YOU, MOTHER..."
14. "WE DID EVERYTHING WE COULD... INCLUDING BAKING YOU THIS CAKE OF CONDOLENCE."
13. "MOTHER, WHAT DOES THAT BUTTON DO?"
12. "SURPWISE!"
11. "EEE! EEE! I BRING TO YOU THE GIFT OF FRESH FRUIT."
10. SOMEBODY'S GOING TO CHOKE ON THAT PIERCING.
9. BUNGEE!
8. <WINK>
7. A RARE SEA ANENOME.
6. WELCOME, HADDIE. NOW PLEASE GO BACK IN, YOU UTTER HORROR.
5. <NOM NOM> "MOTHER TASTES LIKE BEEF."
4. LINSAY CAN'T PUSH. FOR SHE IS TRIPPING OFF HER FACE.
3. "CONGRATULATIONS! IT'S A BEAUTIFUL, BOUNCING, KIM JONG UN!"
2. CUT OFF HER HEAD, AND IT DOUBLES AS A CAKE OF HUMPTY DUMPTY SMOKING A CIGAR.
1. "YOU'VE REMEMBERED TO PACK YOUR BIRTHING CONVERSE AND GUN HOLSTER, HAVEN'T YOU, JOANNE?"
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