Christmas is coming, and the goose is having an anxiety attack: what can it possibly buy its goslings this year? What can it get them that none of the other goslings will have?
What do geese even like getting for Christmas anyway - other than getting to live, obviously?
Here are 18 toys from elsewhere in the world that you can be certain none of the other goose children will own...
What do geese even like getting for Christmas anyway - other than getting to live, obviously?
Here are 18 toys from elsewhere in the world that you can be certain none of the other goose children will own...
18. NEW STYLE NINJA TORTOISE
The S belt buckle is intriguing - it either stands for "Style", or is the initial of this particular New Style Ninja Tortoise's name. May we suggest "Signorelli"?
17. POLITIC PAT MAGNETIC TOYS
You've all played the Politic Pat games... and now you can stick Pat and his friends on your fridge. Or just leave them outside a hospice, guy.
16. SENSE OF RIGHT ALLIANCE
With movie team-ups being the thing these days, a Sense of Right Alliance film would be the ultimate crossover. You've got a blue version of the car out of Cars, the Blue Power Ranger, Superman - who's rolled up his sleeves ready for action - Batman, Spider-Man, and a Terrified Shrek...
15. BEAR OF THE INTEREST
"Please play under the adult inspect to protect". Well indeed, for this "new style toy" is actually a "high class weapon"; The Bear of Interest shoots infected sharps out of its eyes.
14. CLUES & MONSTER
Blues Clues and Pokemon together at last - because everyone (no-one) was demanding it!
13. MIGHTY CAR
Nobody will dare tamper with your bins when they see the battery-operated Mighty Car parked on your driveway - with its five lights, driver brandishing an axe and rifle, and its "moving up and down automatically".
12. UNCANNY EMBRYO
The Uncanny Embryo creeps in the dark, apparently... a feature that is most definitely not suitable for anyone under three years of age.
11. AMUSING DUCK
Yes - is true!!! Amusing Duck does lay egg!!! Another in a series of toys with a strong sense for playing!!!
10. DEMON DONKEY
Demon Donkey doesn't just come with a hairbrush so that you may scrape her plastic wings, but also her special friend "Fun Neddy Lovely"...
9. CHICKEN, DUCK BUBBLE HAMMER WITH TERRIBLE VOICE WHISTEL
Well. This literally has it all going on - veritably the Swiss Army Knife of Chicken, Duck toys.
8. SUPER COCK
This changes "frsm" cock robot... but into what? Something you throw in the bin after a minute.
7. DALLAS WAR-GODS
Now you can re-enact the mystery of which Dallas War-God shot JR... Our money is on Fire-Rain Bike.
6. ANUS RUCKSACK
Seems a bit harsh, but - y'know - even lion cubs have one. That's how nature works.
5. ROCKING ELMO
There's not a kid alive who wouldn't crap their hands upon unwrapping a Rocking Elmo...
4. BENIGN GIRL SUPER TELEPHONE
Rush-released to market following the failure of their "Hostile Girl" range.
3. HOUSE M,d. RUCKSACK
That's pretty much every base covered. The other side has a picture of David Beckham riding a dugong, captioned "Strictly Come Dancing".
2. JOKE BREAST
Why would anybody need an uneven number of Joke Breasts? The clue's in the picture. It's the ultimate prank!
1. HAIRY HURLERS
The "Hairy balls you hurl". As opposed to the hairy balls you don't hurl...
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