17 INEXPLICABLE "CELEBRITY" LOOKALIKES

It must be awful to have a publicly-known face. Mr Biffo saw Nigel Havers in WH Smiths at Euston Station yesterday, and inadvertently did an unmissable double-take.

​Can you imagine being on the receiving end such behaviour, day in  day out?

Worse still - can you imagine having a famous face, but not actually being famous? Having people recognise you purely for the achievements of somebody who you happen to look like a bit? Fortunately, some have turned this to their advantage by working as a celebrity lookalike - and here are 17 of them.

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17. BRIAN TURNER

"Who's Brian Turner?" you may be asking. And we have the answer for you: He has appeared regularly in his role as a chef on BBC2's Ready Steady Cook since 1994. Well... thank you, Wikipedia. Now we can't wait to hire him to entertain the guests at our nephew's 8th birthday party, by stomping up and down and scratching his arms!

16. CHARLIE DIMMOCK

Celebrity gardener Dimmock was once the face of the BBC's Ground Force, and the subject of countless tabloid newspaper headlines for her decision to garden whilst braless (you could even make out the outline of her nips!!!!!). In recent years - according to her Wikipedia entry - she has enjoyed "some success" with ITV Meridian series River Walks. Perhaps you could hire her to appear at your garden party, or to just hang out in a bush near your house. Braless. 

15. HARPER BECKHAM

Nobody knows what Harper Beckham really looks like, due to privacy laws preventing the newspapers from publishing photographs of celebrity children. No doubt, therefore, young "Harper Beckham" here is coining it in as a variety of famous offspring. Hire her now to inaugurate your garden trampoline!

14. CILLA BLACK

The late Cilla Black - our very own Princess of Blind Surprises - may no longer be with us, but her lookalike still is. And judging from her headshot, she appears to specialise in having a "lorra lorra" constipation. Book her today to cough loudly through your letterbox!

13. JILLY COOPER

Romantic horse novel author Jilly Cooper is 78 now, and - let's face it - could drop dead at any moment from old age, or a disease, or by falling down the stairs. If she hasn't already. Fortunately, she will be outlived by her very own lookalike, who sort of vaguely resembles what Cooper might've looked like about 30 years ago. Why not book her to mingle with the guests at your horse's cremation?

12. MINI HARRY STYLES

What's cuter than a Harry Styles lookalike? How about an 8 year-old Harry Styles lookalike!? Send the girls inappropriately wild at your next One Direction party with this tiny mute. Also available to shudder and twitch on your driveway!

11. PETER STRINGFELLOW

We're sure that keeping your hair in a Peter Stringfellow style is well worth the two or three bookings you'll get every other decade... Why not book him to bang and shuffle around in your loft while you're trying to sleep?

10. JOHN LESLIE

Former TV presenter John Leslie is nowadays an estate agent, or a tramp, or something. You could book him as part of a double-act with another former presenter. Someone such as, oh we dunno... someone such as...

9. ULRIKA JOHNSON

Why not hire her to squawk and bray in a large golden cage!?

8. PAULA YATES

Paula Yates may have died of a heroin overdose nearly 20 years ago, but her lookalike has never been more in demand! Also doubles as a young Margi Clarke doppleganger. Available now to accompany you to yacht clubs and Brands Hatch.

7. DIRTY DEN

This man may not look much like TV's Leslie "Dirty Den" Grantham, but that's ok. He's still available for Skype chats, and eating things he finds behind your fridge.

6. SAMANTHA JANUS

If you've always dreamed of having a party where everyone repeatedly asks one of your guests "Sorry - who are you meant to be?", why not book this Samantha Janus semi-lookalike? She could spend the evening lingering behind a curtain, or eating buffet food, or something.

5. RAISA GORBACHEV

Also works as an Edwina Curry, this Raisa Gorbachev lookalike is going to earn you envious glances when you turn up to your child's open evening with her on your arm.

4. TONY BLACKBURN

Not only does this man look rather like 60s DJ Tony Blackburn, but before arriving at your dinner party he'll even gather his own wood, so that you may burn him at the stake.

3. GREEN GRASS OUT OF HEARTBEAT

The gentle, 1960s police drama Heartbeat may have disappeared from our screens five years ago, but the character of Green Grass has never disappeared from our hearts. Why not pay to have him peer at you in the bath?

2. ROLF HARRIS

The career of entertainer the multi-talented Rolf Harris stretches back to the 1950s. Since then, he has been a painter, a musician, and a TV presenter. He also fronted commercials advising children on the benefits of swimming. He is a skilled didgeridoo player, a convicted paedophile, and formerly an MBE, OBE and CBE. Hire him now to eat worms out of a jar while you concentrate on your housework.

1. ROLF HARRIS

This lookalike represents Rolf Harris during the height of his career/crimes. Why not hire him to yell wordlessly from a patch of waste ground outside your place of work?

Click for further info/to hire Rolf Harris:
http://www.splitting-images.com
http://www.lookalikes.info/homepage
http://www.fakefaces.co.uk