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16 JAW-DROPPINGLY SEXIST VINTAGE ADS

29/9/2015

6 Comments

 
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Women, eh. Always causing trouble, with their wanting to be treated equally, and their... boobs and feelings.

Apparently, these days it's considered real bad to behave as if women deserve fewer rights than the rest of us, and so men must pretend otherwise. What a charade.


Not so long ago, things were different, more honest - it was a time when men could stride around the globe, smoking big cigars, drinking beer with their friends, driving open-topped cars, and just generally being great and rugged without anybody spoiling their fun. Here are 16 ads from the days before everything got utterly ruined by the Feminazis.

16. KELLOGG'S PEP
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You know what they say: cuteness is next to obsessive compulsive disorderliness. "Clean... clean... must... clean away the ugliness... must... stay... loveable... Need more vitamins!".
15. PALMOLIVE
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If women get old it's their own stupid fault. At least there's some nice, oily soap which'll fill in their wrinkles, so their husbands don't have to look at their horrible, dry, sagging, faces. Thanks, Dr Dafoe!
14. CHASE & SANBORN COFFEE
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God forbid any wife fails to "store-test" for fresher coffee - for she will be in for a well deserved beating upon returning home. And/or a bit of naughty slap and tickle...
13. SCHLITZ BEER
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"Come, wife, let us get drunk so that I do not have deal with your troublesome emotions."
12. TIPALET CIGARETTES
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Even to the grave, when she also dies of lung cancer brought about by passive smoking.
11. CAPTAIN MORGAN RUM
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...And then back away towards the toilets, while winking rapidly and frantically licking your lips.
10. SERAX ANTI-ANXIETY MEDICATION
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Look at her, trapped in a prison of housework. No wonder she has anxiety... but what can you do? You can do this: dose her up to the eyeballs so that she stops complaining and eating her fingers.
9. MORNIDINE ANTI-NAUSEA MEDICATION
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Life was a nightmare when she had that nausea. You just went all hungry and that until lunchtime, when she was finally able to drag her miserable face out of the toilet and prepare you a sandwich.
8. JELL-O
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"Stupid woman! I've told you not to touch my car. Look what you've done to - ohhhhh! Pudding! Nom nom... Wait - why does this pudding taste like husband poison?"
7. LUX WASHING POWDER
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"Because I stink, dear."
6. LUX WASHING POWDER
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In case you missed it... the implication here is that Dot has really smelly privates, and it's preventing her from having lots of casual sex.
5. SILVA THINS CIGARETTES
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They forgot to add... "...And they don't talk back".
4. CONOCO SUPER MOTOR OIL
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Spray her with whatever you like - she doesn't care. Because she's a slut.
3. LUCKY STRIKE CIGARETTES
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Look at that big, dark shadow behind her. It's possibly a metaphor for the shadows on her lungs. Still... at least she's not fat, eh.
2. RICE
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"What are you doing? Why have you brought all this rice into the bed? This was not what I was expecting when you said you were going to give me a treat. Look at it - the rice is going bloody everywhere. What the... why is there rice in my pillowcase?! Have you got rice in your fists...? There's even rice in your ears! For god's sake... have you been taking your Serax? Why aren't you saying anything? God... are you crying...?"
1. MR LEGGS SLACKS
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Or at the very least one's severed head, which you can use to wipe your shoe on.
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
  • 21 TERRIFYING CLOWNS THAT MUST NEVER BE SEEN
  • WHAT'S UP WITH GARGOYLES?
  • 10 PEOPLE WHO HAVE NEVER PLAYED DARK SOULS​
6 Comments
Happy chap from East Kent seaside town (3,7)
29/9/2015 12:08:13 pm

...and now we can't even have eye catching game adverts like that Battlecruiser 3000ad one with the lass with no knicks on, or the Barbarian one with the Page 3 burd and Wolf off Gladiators and that. They just want to turn all games into boring walking simulator dating games or something.

It's treating people with respect gone mad!

Reply
BrigadierBanjo
29/9/2015 01:37:18 pm

This reminds me of when I visited Disney World as a kid. But I don't like to talk about it.

Reply
Granthon T
29/9/2015 04:28:51 pm

What I took away from this is an unsuspected new definition for the word "dainty".

Reply
ChorltonWheelie
29/9/2015 06:12:13 pm

Swap Dove or Oil of Olay for Palmolive, any of the the 'Detox' bollocks for Kellogs PEP, 'Whooooaaaagh Bodyform' for Lux powder, Prosac for Serax and Lynx for Tipalet.
Its not gone away just changed.

Reply
Mr Biffo
29/9/2015 06:32:21 pm

Couldn't agree more.

Reply
alan
3/10/2015 10:19:09 am

I can remember my dad scelping merry hell out of my mothers backside,really having at it she was in tears for hours after i loved my dad but christ that was distrubing a few months later though my mum did have her revenge when she knocked him out cold with a heavy frying pan,spark out hee was given my mum was 6 stone wet through against a man of imense strength it was bizarre.

Im lucky im as sane as i am with those 2 for parents

Reply



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