Women, eh. Always causing trouble, with their wanting to be treated equally, and their... boobs and feelings.
Apparently, these days it's considered real bad to behave as if women deserve fewer rights than the rest of us, and so men must pretend otherwise. What a charade.
Not so long ago, things were different, more honest - it was a time when men could stride around the globe, smoking big cigars, drinking beer with their friends, driving open-topped cars, and just generally being great and rugged without anybody spoiling their fun. Here are 16 ads from the days before everything got utterly ruined by the Feminazis.
Apparently, these days it's considered real bad to behave as if women deserve fewer rights than the rest of us, and so men must pretend otherwise. What a charade.
Not so long ago, things were different, more honest - it was a time when men could stride around the globe, smoking big cigars, drinking beer with their friends, driving open-topped cars, and just generally being great and rugged without anybody spoiling their fun. Here are 16 ads from the days before everything got utterly ruined by the Feminazis.
16. KELLOGG'S PEP
You know what they say: cuteness is next to obsessive compulsive disorderliness. "Clean... clean... must... clean away the ugliness... must... stay... loveable... Need more vitamins!".
15. PALMOLIVE
If women get old it's their own stupid fault. At least there's some nice, oily soap which'll fill in their wrinkles, so their husbands don't have to look at their horrible, dry, sagging, faces. Thanks, Dr Dafoe!
14. CHASE & SANBORN COFFEE
God forbid any wife fails to "store-test" for fresher coffee - for she will be in for a well deserved beating upon returning home. And/or a bit of naughty slap and tickle...
13. SCHLITZ BEER
"Come, wife, let us get drunk so that I do not have deal with your troublesome emotions."
12. TIPALET CIGARETTES
Even to the grave, when she also dies of lung cancer brought about by passive smoking.
11. CAPTAIN MORGAN RUM
...And then back away towards the toilets, while winking rapidly and frantically licking your lips.
10. SERAX ANTI-ANXIETY MEDICATION
Look at her, trapped in a prison of housework. No wonder she has anxiety... but what can you do? You can do this: dose her up to the eyeballs so that she stops complaining and eating her fingers.
9. MORNIDINE ANTI-NAUSEA MEDICATION
Life was a nightmare when she had that nausea. You just went all hungry and that until lunchtime, when she was finally able to drag her miserable face out of the toilet and prepare you a sandwich.
8. JELL-O
"Stupid woman! I've told you not to touch my car. Look what you've done to - ohhhhh! Pudding! Nom nom... Wait - why does this pudding taste like husband poison?"
7. LUX WASHING POWDER
"Because I stink, dear."
6. LUX WASHING POWDER
In case you missed it... the implication here is that Dot has really smelly privates, and it's preventing her from having lots of casual sex.
5. SILVA THINS CIGARETTES
They forgot to add... "...And they don't talk back".
4. CONOCO SUPER MOTOR OIL
Spray her with whatever you like - she doesn't care. Because she's a slut.
3. LUCKY STRIKE CIGARETTES
Look at that big, dark shadow behind her. It's possibly a metaphor for the shadows on her lungs. Still... at least she's not fat, eh.
2. RICE
"What are you doing? Why have you brought all this rice into the bed? This was not what I was expecting when you said you were going to give me a treat. Look at it - the rice is going bloody everywhere. What the... why is there rice in my pillowcase?! Have you got rice in your fists...? There's even rice in your ears! For god's sake... have you been taking your Serax? Why aren't you saying anything? God... are you crying...?"
1. MR LEGGS SLACKS
Or at the very least one's severed head, which you can use to wipe your shoe on.
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