Can you smell that? It can only mean one thing: Ba-Nar-Vel-Oo (Christmas) is almost upon us, preparing to tear the flesh from our backs with its peppermint talons, and cheeky mouth.
Of course, Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without the Christmas things, and foremost among the things is the brown sauce - where would we be during Christmas lunch without lashings of brown sauce? This sauce is followed closely in the pantheon of the Christmas things by the Christmas music.
Whether it's the intangible shrieks of Boney M, or the alarming balladry of Boney F, we all have our favourites. Here are 15 more Christmas records that you may wish to add to your collection.
Of course, Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without the Christmas things, and foremost among the things is the brown sauce - where would we be during Christmas lunch without lashings of brown sauce? This sauce is followed closely in the pantheon of the Christmas things by the Christmas music.
Whether it's the intangible shrieks of Boney M, or the alarming balladry of Boney F, we all have our favourites. Here are 15 more Christmas records that you may wish to add to your collection.
15. MERRY CHRISTMAS - With The Mom and Dads
One... two... four? Four actual dads, and only one actual mom? We suspect there was at one time a second mom, and she passed away (died) from pleurisy and heresy. This is why we see the last remaining mom holding her friend's favourite blue lab coat.
14. STAN AND DOUG JUST GO NUTS AT CHRISTMAS
Look at them there, just going nuts. And by "nuts" we clearly mean "weeks away from committing suicide in that wretched squat".
13. CHRISTMAS WITH KICO
Oh, Kico, with your multiple hues of facial hair...
12. EILERTS JUL
Oilers Jul translates literally as "Elvis Rolling in His Grave".
11. GOD JUL - Onskar, Mats, Lasse, Margret, Gerd and Towa
Looking at this image, you'd think Lasse was the group's alpha. You'd be wrong. For it is in fact Mats... Mats is the alpha - and Gerd, Margret and Towa all know it.
10. A FIRST CHRISTMAS RECORD FOR CHILDREN
Followed swiftly by a First Wet Bed For Children.
9. NUTTIN' FOR CHRISTMAS and SUZY SNOWFLAKE - Featuring Kenny and Corky
Looking at how Kenny is trying to get Corky to notice him, and how Corky insists on reading his book of carols with his legs crossed, we don't think there's going to be a great deal of "nuttin'" this Christmas. Sorry, Kenny.
8. THE SOUND OF CHILDREN AT CHRISTMAS - Hugo & Luigi with their Children's Chorus
That sound? A low, rolling, bass tone that rumbles out of your speakers, inducing uncontrollable diarrhoea.
7. CHRISTMAS ALBUM - Archie Wood and his Friends
Oh, Archie... You lonely, lonely man...
6. COOL CRAZY CHRISTMAS - With Homer & Jethro
There's not a great deal about mental illness that could be considered cool, but "crazy" Homer and Jethro successfully challenge that assertion. Just look at the cool way Homer is holding that ball, or the cool picture of Santa on the mantelpiece, or Jethro's cool xylophone, and the way he conceals his parts with a teddy bear... Cool!
5. HI-FI CHRISTMAS PARTY - Domenico Savino and his Orchestra and Chorus
It's Santa's version of the old hole-in-the-bottom-of-the-popcorn-tub trick.
4. HAPPY HOLI-DEE - Lenny Dee
With his Santa suit and puppies, Lenny Dee is trying a little too hard to get children to sit on his lap.
3. 24 SINT NICOLAASLIEDJES - Rhythmische Begeleiding Gazemengen Door Het Kinderkoor
Yes, we know that Black Peter is a Dutch tradition. We know it's appalling. And so do the children in the audience here, who appear to be imploring the players to stop their offensive, and outdated, charade.
2. KLAPPA PA! - Thore Skogmans Julskiva
Mmm... look at all that delicious raw and smoked meat. And a fruit platter, and a plate of dry biscuits! Truly, a Christmas feast fit for Klappa Pa himself!
1. CHRISTMAS AT THE ORGAN - With Christopher Bowes
Once again, Christopher Bowes spends Christmas alone with his organ.
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