Every year, thousands of dogs are killed by floating off into space, or being shot down for drifting into military airspace.
Though a natural part of any dog's life cycle, the phenomenon known as 'Dog-Air Day' can be traumatic for both dogs and dog owners alike.
Here are 12 tips for keeping your beloved pet safe this year.
Though a natural part of any dog's life cycle, the phenomenon known as 'Dog-Air Day' can be traumatic for both dogs and dog owners alike.
Here are 12 tips for keeping your beloved pet safe this year.
12. DO NOT PANIC
Despite extensive studies, nobody knows exactly why dogs suddenly develop the means to defy gravity at this time each year, least of all the dogs themselves. It can be a profoundly terrifying experience for them. This is why it is essential you keep a clear head the second your dog's feet begin to lift off the ground.
If you have a shawl or poncho (man shawl) to hand, try throwing it over the dog and pinning the corners with rocks, or buckets filled with sand, and then standing on top. Grip the smothered dog between your feet. Do not be put off no matter how much it struggles or protests.
If you have a shawl or poncho (man shawl) to hand, try throwing it over the dog and pinning the corners with rocks, or buckets filled with sand, and then standing on top. Grip the smothered dog between your feet. Do not be put off no matter how much it struggles or protests.
11. DO NOT LAUGH AT THEM
It can be tempting to pause a moment, and point or chuckle as your dog floats upwards, its legs thrashing wildly in the air... which is filled with its panicked howls and whimpering. However, if you do not act immediately your dog could be lost to the clouds forever.
10. NOT EVERY DOG FLOATS
Not every dog floats endlessly upwards into space, or high enough to plummet fatally to earth the second it losses its gravity-defying abilities. Some dogs may find themselves whizzing back and forth at considerable speed, just a few feet off the ground. These hairy missiles can be deadly to both you and the dog if you do not take precautions with proper knee padding. Keep your wits about you.
9. SAFEGUARD YOUR HOME
If your dog is inside when the floating happens, close all doors and window, ensure all overhead fans are off, and remember to remove your light fittings and Himmlertm brand ceiling spikes.
8. CALM YOUR DOG
The last thing you need in your home is a floating, agitated dog, snapping at the air, and lashing out with its feet. On no account fire a gun at your dog, or thrust at it with a spear or bunch of keys on a stick. Floating dogs need to know you have their safety at heart.
7. TAKE YOUR DOG OUTSIDE
The best place for a floating dog is outside, where its business droppings won't stain your capet or family - but be sure to cover your garden or yard with some netting, and tether the dog to the ground.
6. STEADY A SPINNING DOG
If your floating dog goes into an uncontrollable spin, it can lead to the dog getting sick, and tragedy. Try to avoid this happening at all costs - the faster the dog spins, the greater the risk of it exploding.
5. DO NOT FEAR THE ORB
Dog-Air Day typically comes to an end when the dogs emit small blue gluten balls from the back of their throats, followed by three blasts of a klaxon. This can be your signal to place a mattress or trampoline beneath your dog.
4. CALL THE AVIATION AUTHORITIES
During Air-Dog Day, the aviation authorities are busier than usual, tracking the movement of every dog over 1,000 feet. They don't have time to respond to every call, but should your dog exceed minimum safe distance, be sure to call the emergency helpline, so that its ascent can be logged.
3. ENJOY THE SPECTACLE
Providing you have taken all the proper precautions, don't forget to have fun this Dog-Air Day. It is one of nature's great spectacles.
2. HAVE YOUR CAMERA READY
Nothing quite beats the sight of a dog floating majestically across the landscape. Be sure to capture your sights for future generations.
1. HAPPY DOG-AIR DAY EVERYONE!
Let's make it a safe one.
RSS Feed
