Greetings, dicks. Doctor Ashley Tagg here again.
Sorry to be back so soon, but the head of the faculty, my good friend Professor Lawrence Katz (for some reason, all the students call him "LOLCats" and claim that we should appear together in a TV detective show called "Hashtag and LOLCats" - I don't know why), asked me to share something with you.
Lawrence has invented a powerful strain of pathogenic bacteria which only infects the straights. He's very much hoping his creation will be transmitted virally to the world, thus hastening the fall of society, as a joke. Consequently, he's chosen the single most viral thing imaginable to be the carrier of his virus - a list of amusing animal pictures.
Sorry to be back so soon, but the head of the faculty, my good friend Professor Lawrence Katz (for some reason, all the students call him "LOLCats" and claim that we should appear together in a TV detective show called "Hashtag and LOLCats" - I don't know why), asked me to share something with you.
Lawrence has invented a powerful strain of pathogenic bacteria which only infects the straights. He's very much hoping his creation will be transmitted virally to the world, thus hastening the fall of society, as a joke. Consequently, he's chosen the single most viral thing imaginable to be the carrier of his virus - a list of amusing animal pictures.
I'm afraid to say that if you have read this far, there's a very high chance that it is too late for Yu (that is - Roald Yu, a straight I know who is also my lab assistant).
Notice: don't make the same mistake Yu did, and please be sure to check your shits for signs of internal bleeding.
Finally, I thank you with all my heart for taking the time to consider this list, and your kind help with the work of my esteemed colleague. Here is the full list of pictures and symptoms. Goodbye, Yu.
Notice: don't make the same mistake Yu did, and please be sure to check your shits for signs of internal bleeding.
Finally, I thank you with all my heart for taking the time to consider this list, and your kind help with the work of my esteemed colleague. Here is the full list of pictures and symptoms. Goodbye, Yu.
STAGE 1: THE PUFFENING OF THE HOLES.
STAGE 2: CURIOUS BUM SMELL.
STAGE 3: BI-CURIOUS BUM SMELL.
STAGE 4: FRONT PANTRY DRYNESS.
STAGE 5: LIPS IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES.
STAGE 6: PERSISTENT COLLYWOBBLES.
STAGE 7: NIP ROT.
STAGE 8: COMPULSIVE RUMOURMONGERING.
STAGE 9: REVERSE BULIMIA.
STAGE 10: NIMOY'S DILEMMA.
STAGE 11: BERTIGO'S VERTIGO.
STAGE 12: BEES IN YOUR URINE.
STAGE 13: TOTAL DEATH.
RSS Feed
