Of all the facial hair in gaming, none is more celebrated than the moustache worn by "Super" Mario. Such is the breadth of influence had by these whiskers that even the animal kingdom has begun to emulate the ubiquitous Italian plumber.
Here we present a gallery of thirteen animals - mostly cats - that look a bit like Super Mario, if you use your imagination, and squint. No animals were harmed during the making of this article... though we did kick an optician in the back.
Here we present a gallery of thirteen animals - mostly cats - that look a bit like Super Mario, if you use your imagination, and squint. No animals were harmed during the making of this article... though we did kick an optician in the back.
13. LOOK AT THIS NEWBORN PUPPY BOY. ISN'T HE CUTE? BUT WOULD HE BE AS CUTE IF HE WAS WRECKED OFF HIS LITTLE FACE ON PSILOCYBIN MUSHROOMS? IT'S DEBATABLE.
12. SQUEEEEE! SO ADORABLE! NOW IMAGINE HER STOMPING ON A TURTLE UNTIL IT OOZES OUT OF ITS SHELL, THEN KICKING ITS CARCASS ALONG THE GROUND.
11. THIS GORGEOUS LITTLE CHAP IS INSIDE A BOX. NOW PICTURE HIM INSIDE A SEWER PIPE, SCRABBLING AROUND IN THE FILTH LOOKING FOR COINS. DIGNIFIED MUCH?
10. WHAT A CHEEKY LOOKING SCAMP! WE WONDER IF HE'D BE SO CHEEKY IF HE HAD JUST BASHED HIS SKULL OPEN BY JUMPING REPEATEDLY AT A BREEZEBLOCK...
9. AWWWW! WE'RE GONNA MELT! OR, AT LEAST, SUFFER THIRD DEGREE BURNS... LIKE MARIO'S VICTIMS WHEN HE IMMOLATES THEM WITH A FIREBALL...
8. WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO SEE THIS FLUFFY CUTEY SCAMPERING AROUND THEIR GARDEN? WE'LL TELL YOU WHO - ANYONE WHO DOESN'T APPRECIATE HAVING THEIR CAR RAMMED OFF THE ROAD THROUGH AGGRESSIVE DRIVING, MARIO KART-STYLE.
7. TOO MUCH - HE'S UP A TREE! WE ALMOST CAN'T WAIT FOR HIM TO JUMP DOWN, CLAMBER ASTRIDE A LIZARD, AND START FLINGING REPTILE EGGS ALL OVER THE PLACE...
6. WOWOWOWOW!!! WE JUST WANNA SWEEP HIM UP IN OUR ARMS AND GIVE HIM A BIG OL' HUG... TOO BAD ALL WE CAN THINK ABOUT IS HIM DIGGING UP A TURNIP AND FLINGING IT SO HARD AT OUR FACE THAT IT BREAKS OUR JAW...
5. MMM-HMMM....! THIS GUY IS SUCH A HANDSOME AND DIGNIFIED FELLOW. WE'D EVEN TRUST HIM WITH OUR INFANT SON... UNTIL HE CATAPULTED THE CHILD AT A SHELF, AS IN MARIO & LUIGI: PARTNERS IN TIME.
4. THIS ONE IS JUST UNBEARABLY HEAVENLY. WHAT A SHAME WE ASSOCIATE HIM WITH USING A SPHERICAL BOMB TO DESTROY A SUPPORTING WALL IN OUR HOUSE.
3. LOOK AT THIS COMICAL FISHY! TOO BAD WE FEAR HE'LL BREAK INTO OUR MEDICINE CABINET, AND RECKLESSLY MIX UP OUR MEDICATION, AS IN DR. MARIO.
2. WE'D GIVE ANYTHING FOR AN EVENING WITH THIS PURRING BEAUTY ON OUR LAP. SHAME IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE SHE SMASHES AN APE'S HEAD IN WITH A HAMMER.
1. YEAH. PRETTY CUTE. UNTIL HE SHREDS OUR SKIN USING A HIGH-POWERED SUPER MARIO SUNSHINE-STYLE WATER CANNON...
RSS Feed
