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12 LUCKY KIDS WHO COULDN'T BE HAPPIER ABOUT THEIR MARIO FACE PAINTING

14/9/2015

2 Comments

 
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Who doesn't love face painting? Once just the domain of progressive rock singers and terrifying circus performers, now anyone can get their face painted to look like a Spider-Man or a moth - be it at a party, fete, or Masonic gathering.

Here we present a gallery of 12 very lucky children who couldn't be happier or more excited about the Super Mario face paint job they've just had done. Ta-ta-ta-ta-tah! Pa-ta-tatata-tah! Yeah!

12. JACOB 
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"It was my dad's turn to have me, and we'd gone to Margate, and there was a woman doing face painting on the pier. I guess I got it done it to keep my dad happy. I only see him, like, one weekend in four, and sometimes it's as if he still thinks I'm, like, eight or something, but it's okay. He's always crying and buying me drones."
11. ETHAN 
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"The other kids at Connor's party were getting it done, so I thought I might as well. The face painting woman was all like 'I know what you want - you want to be Mario', and I said 'No, I want to be a Minion', and she shouted and said 'I can't do Minions - I've never been able to do Minions, so why do you kids always ask for Minions?', so then I had to be Mario and I don't even know who Mario is. It's fine though. It makes me look more mature."
10. WILLIAM
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"A boy called Aaron Sutton in year six held me down and did this to me. It won't come off."
9. SZYMON
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"They got a face painter in for my parents' wedding anniversary party, and this is what he chose to paint on my face. I'm shy, so I just sat down opposite him and allowed him to proceed. There was no discussion, no debate. His hands smelled of tobacco and regret, and there was a haunted look in his eye. I'm telling you... that face painter had seen some stuff."
8. EVE
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"I wanted to be the other one - the tall green, not the short red, but the face painter thought I was making him up, and told me there is no tall green, even though I've played my brother's game, and always play as the tall green. The tall green is the Herald of Mammon. The short red is the Runt of Moloch."
7. CALEB
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"I don't know what happened. I just woke up like this. My parents were drinking last night, so draw your own conclusions."
6. MICHAEL
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"I can't even see what it looks like. Is it ok? Please tell me it's ok. It's a good Sonic, right?"
5 & 4. LUKE and JAMES
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"We're both absolutely furious. You pay four pounds to be painted like your favourite whimsical characters, and you end up being defiled like this. Is this really the state of art in the UK today? No wonder this country is going to the dogs. Christ knows what all those ruddy migrants and refugees are expecting when they arrive here. Just look at the level of half-baked workmanship we have to put up with. Appalling."
3. OWEN
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"A clown did my face, and kept laughing and saying that the M stood for 'moustache'. I don't know if he was trying to make some really lame joke, or actually believed that, but I never corrected him. I didn't laugh either. I just nodded and went  'Mmm', but that made his hand slip and he poked me in the iris with his brush and finger."
2. BENJAMIN
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"I got it done at the same time I got my ear pieced, and had my first shot of whiskey."
1. RAMON
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"Grandpapa did this, though he had never seen a picture of Mario, so I had to describe him. He then placed me in the dark cupboard, and told me not to come out - no matter what - until the disturbing noises had stopped."
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
  • 10 BLATANT MARIO RIP-OFFS
  • 13 ANIMALS THAT SORT OF LOOK LIKE SUPER MARIO A BIT
  • 10 BIZARRE NES GAMES THAT WE SWEAR WE DIDN'T MAKE UP
2 Comments
Picston Shottle
15/9/2015 04:23:05 pm

Is Caleb a boy or a pig?

Reply
Mr Biffo
16/9/2015 01:08:49 pm

Pig Ralphio.

Reply



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