It's a real big shame what happened to Sega.
Once upon it was the little games company that could - taking on the market-dominating Nintendo, and aggressively positioning its Mega Drive as one of the two market-leading formats. Unfortunately, we all know what happened next; Sega got too big for its own boots and developed terrible callouses on its toes and heel. Then its feet fell off completely, and it almost choked to death on its own frenum.
We all know the main reasons why Sega toppled from its lofty perch - the 32X, Saturn, Dreamcast - and the machines which put it there in the first place - the Master System, Game Gear, Mega Drive - but they're not the full story.
Here are 11 more Sega hardware releases which history has decided to forget about.
Once upon it was the little games company that could - taking on the market-dominating Nintendo, and aggressively positioning its Mega Drive as one of the two market-leading formats. Unfortunately, we all know what happened next; Sega got too big for its own boots and developed terrible callouses on its toes and heel. Then its feet fell off completely, and it almost choked to death on its own frenum.
We all know the main reasons why Sega toppled from its lofty perch - the 32X, Saturn, Dreamcast - and the machines which put it there in the first place - the Master System, Game Gear, Mega Drive - but they're not the full story.
Here are 11 more Sega hardware releases which history has decided to forget about.
PODS
A sign of the increasing cockiness demonstrated in the the early-mid-90s which would lead to its ultimate downfall, Sega's "Pods" was a standalone gaming device described as "The futuristic game of light and sounds".
The pods themselves were sensors which could detect the position and height of a player's hands, through which seven lacklustre variations on MB Games' Simon could be played. Perfect for germaphobes, Sega billed it as "The game you don't have to touch to play".
Other things you don't have to touch to play include the theremin and my very own "mind bongos".
The pods themselves were sensors which could detect the position and height of a player's hands, through which seven lacklustre variations on MB Games' Simon could be played. Perfect for germaphobes, Sega billed it as "The game you don't have to touch to play".
Other things you don't have to touch to play include the theremin and my very own "mind bongos".
ANVIE
Japanese youth were obsessed with little stickers in the 90s, and Sega got into the act with the Anvie - a device which allowed them to design and print their own. It was essentially an expensive version of those daisy wheel label makers you'd get in the 70s and 80s.
You know: like the one my father used to have, which he used to stick labels on everything he bought, telling him when their warranty expired. Yes... yes, he is the sort of man who keeps string in a tin.
You know: like the one my father used to have, which he used to stick labels on everything he bought, telling him when their warranty expired. Yes... yes, he is the sort of man who keeps string in a tin.
SEGA GRAND PIANIST
Released in 2007, Sega's Grand Pianist could play music, be it one of the 100 built-in songs (including - excitingly - Ode to Joy), or from a memory card. Astonishingly, it was also a fully functioning miniature grand piano, despite each key being just 4mm wide; about the width of a bogey.
ROBO PITCHER
Released in the 1980s, before Sega became a player in the console wars, the Robo Pitcher was a robot-shaped toy that could spit out small plastic balls - ostensibly for baseball practice. Could you replace the balls with eggs? Yes you could. Could you also replace the Robo Pitcher with an egg? Yes, but then you'd just have a pile of eggs.
UCHIAGE HANABI FIREWORKS PROJECTOR
Exactly what it says: a device which projects fireworks displays on the walls and ceiling of your home. Or somebody else's home. Or a restaurant. Or your urologist's office. Basically, anywhere.
It could also be customised, allowing users to write or draw messages onto a special lens - such as "Happy birthday" or "Congratulations" or "I've shaved for you" - and then have the messages lit up with exploding 'works.
It could also be customised, allowing users to write or draw messages onto a special lens - such as "Happy birthday" or "Congratulations" or "I've shaved for you" - and then have the messages lit up with exploding 'works.
HOME PLANETARIUM
Sega has released more than a dozen home planetariums - including Star Wars-themed models, which resemble Darth Vader and R2D2, and waterproof ones for use in the bath. They all use little plastic discs which allow you to change the constellations on offer.
Take it from somebody who owned one of these; they're not as good as they sound, but are perfect for anybody who wants slowly moving blurry dots to be shone around their bedroom while trying to pretend not to be disappointed as you are, because it was your main Christmas present that year.
Take it from somebody who owned one of these; they're not as good as they sound, but are perfect for anybody who wants slowly moving blurry dots to be shone around their bedroom while trying to pretend not to be disappointed as you are, because it was your main Christmas present that year.
POO-CHI
A cheap and cheerful robot dog released in 2000, at the opposite end of the market to Sony's pricey Aibo, Poo-Chi could sing, flap its ears, and respond to being smacked on the head; just like a real dog! Again, take it from somebody who owned one; it wasn't very good.
One of Sega's biggest non-gaming successes, over 10 million Poo-Chis were sold worldwide to disappointed children. Poo-Chi? More like Poo-Poo!!!!!!!!!!!
One of Sega's biggest non-gaming successes, over 10 million Poo-Chis were sold worldwide to disappointed children. Poo-Chi? More like Poo-Poo!!!!!!!!!!!
PICTURE MAGIC
The Picture Magic was a graphics tablet based around Sega's 32X hardware - primarily because Sega had a lot of 32X hardware left over after the dreadful failure of its ill-considered Mega Drive add-on. The software came on a cartridge - presumably with the intention that additional editing tools could've been released for it. Which they weren't.
Primarily, it was intended for editing photos taken with Sega's...
Primarily, it was intended for editing photos taken with Sega's...
DIGIO SJ-1
Yes: Sega released a digital camera, right when such a thing was almost unheard of. The resolution wasn't particularly impressive - 320x240 or 160x120 pixel resolution - and the memory cards could store a mere 20 images, but users could at least print out photographs using Sega's Print Club arcade machines.
Some sort of Saturn compatibility was intended, but never implemented. Probably because of the reason that was this reason: the Saturn was a faiiiiiiilurrrrrrrrrre!
Some sort of Saturn compatibility was intended, but never implemented. Probably because of the reason that was this reason: the Saturn was a faiiiiiiilurrrrrrrrrre!
IR-7000
The IR-7000 was manufactured by Casio, but released under the Sega brand in 1994. It was an early personal digital assistant, with an IR sensor which allowed it to communicate with other IR-7000s. It could store contact details, featured a couple of built-in games, a calculator, and a calendar.
Selling it as a way to communicate secretly with your friends, Sega promoted the IR-7000 with the slogan "Whispering is for gutless weasels"...
Which seems unnecessarily cruel towards anybody who's had a laryngectomy.
Selling it as a way to communicate secretly with your friends, Sega promoted the IR-7000 with the slogan "Whispering is for gutless weasels"...
Which seems unnecessarily cruel towards anybody who's had a laryngectomy.
SEGA VISION
Sega Vision was a 2008 portable media player, which arrived just in time to be completely overshadowed by the smartphone revolution. It could play music and video in various formats, boasted a camera, and - most impressively - had a built-in analogue TV and radio tuner.
Oddly, it was the second Sega product to be called the Sega Vision; in 1976 the company released a range of projection television sets called the Sega-Vision - its first product intended for the home.
They were designed by one Earl "Madman" Muntz - an American entrepreneur and engineer known for his wacky persona and publicity stunts. He has been credited with coining the abbreviation "TV" and the invention of the nipple clamp (car stereo).
Oddly, it was the second Sega product to be called the Sega Vision; in 1976 the company released a range of projection television sets called the Sega-Vision - its first product intended for the home.
They were designed by one Earl "Madman" Muntz - an American entrepreneur and engineer known for his wacky persona and publicity stunts. He has been credited with coining the abbreviation "TV" and the invention of the nipple clamp (car stereo).
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