Dear father. It's a shame that a console as important as the Atari 2600 is now perhaps best remembered for E.T. - a game widely considered to be the worst ever made.
In fact, there was far more to the Atari 2600 than simply playing host to one terrible game.
Indeed - here are another 10 games that could easily challenge E.T.'s position atop those Worst Games Ever Lists. Goodbye, father.
In fact, there was far more to the Atari 2600 than simply playing host to one terrible game.
Indeed - here are another 10 games that could easily challenge E.T.'s position atop those Worst Games Ever Lists. Goodbye, father.
10. M*A*S*H
Our four or five American readers may be unfamiliar with the British version of the 1970s/80s TV Korean War sitcom. Though essentially the same show that was shown Stateside, when broadcast on the BBC it had the laugh track removed and replaced with the dying screams of barn owls.
Still, it was an odd choice for a video game - which played like a cross between Choplifter and the board game Operation. Who remembers the M*A*S*H theme tune?
"'Cause suicide is painless,
It brings on many changes"
That's a bit of a weird lyric, when you think about. It manages to be simultaneously inaccurate and profoundly understated.
Still, it was an odd choice for a video game - which played like a cross between Choplifter and the board game Operation. Who remembers the M*A*S*H theme tune?
"'Cause suicide is painless,
It brings on many changes"
That's a bit of a weird lyric, when you think about. It manages to be simultaneously inaccurate and profoundly understated.
9. THE A TEAM
No, your eyes aren't playing tricks - that is indeed Digitiser's Mr T in an Atari 2600 game. We think. Though it was left unreleased, following the video game crash that followed in the wake of E.T., Atari had been intending to capitalise on the huge popularity of TV's most popular mercenaries.
As was their way at the time, rather than put the time and effort into creating something new and good, they simply modified the graphics of another, almost complete, title called Saboteur. The aim of the game? To help Mr T and everybody's favourite PTSD sufferer, Howling Mad Murdoch, stop a bunch of nuclear terrorists.
Didn't the TV show usually just have them defeating Mexican ranch owners?
As was their way at the time, rather than put the time and effort into creating something new and good, they simply modified the graphics of another, almost complete, title called Saboteur. The aim of the game? To help Mr T and everybody's favourite PTSD sufferer, Howling Mad Murdoch, stop a bunch of nuclear terrorists.
Didn't the TV show usually just have them defeating Mexican ranch owners?
8. RUBIK'S CUBE
1980s kids loved the Rubik's Cube. For those who knew how to solve the puzzle it was a chance to lord it over the rest of us. The rest of us, however, were able to change the name to "Pubic's Cube", which was of course hilarious. "Ha ha - you're touching a pubic cube."
This Rubik's Cube game was a rebranded rerelease for Video Cube, an existing Atari puzzle game - something which seemed to happen a lot back then.
This Rubik's Cube game was a rebranded rerelease for Video Cube, an existing Atari puzzle game - something which seemed to happen a lot back then.
7. PEPSI INVADERS/COKE WINS
The Cola Wars was a big thing back in the 1980s, when people had less important things to worry about. Everyone had their favourite brand - whether they were a president or a pop star - so it was inevitable that Coke would try to use the leverage of video games to win a victory over Pepsi.
This unlabelled Space Invaders rip-off was given away at a trade fair, and saw players shooting at the Pepsi logo - victory being met with the legend "Coke Wins!". History would suggest that neither Coke nor Pepsi has won, given the decline in fast food sales over recent years.
This unlabelled Space Invaders rip-off was given away at a trade fair, and saw players shooting at the Pepsi logo - victory being met with the legend "Coke Wins!". History would suggest that neither Coke nor Pepsi has won, given the decline in fast food sales over recent years.
6. ALIEN
As one of the most visceral and atmospheric sci-fi horror movies of all time, it was only appropriate that Alien would become a limp Pac-Man clone, with the ghosts replaced by multicoloured, slack-jawed monsters, and the bonus fruits replaced by planets. Which is certainly in keeping with the nature of the film.
Its chief achievement is that it's the first product in the Alien franchise to feature more than one xenomorph.
Its chief achievement is that it's the first product in the Alien franchise to feature more than one xenomorph.
5. PORKY'S
Underlining that almost anything could become an Atari 2600 game, Porky's was based upon the teen sex comedy of the same name. Though the accompanying manual skirted around the plot of the movie - the characters try to destroy a strip club after being thrown out - the ultimate objective was the same, through a weird mix of Frogger and Pitfall..
"Revenge is sweet - and the objective of this game is to 'get it'. Your task is to help Pee Wee blow up Porky's bar and obtain as many points as possible."
Okay then.
"Revenge is sweet - and the objective of this game is to 'get it'. Your task is to help Pee Wee blow up Porky's bar and obtain as many points as possible."
Okay then.
4. REVENGE OF THE BEEFSTEAK TOMATOES
Presumably because its creators couldn't - or didn't want to - get the rights to the cult Attack of the Killer Tomatoes movie, there was a game called Revenge of the Beefsteak Tomatoes. We've spared you another screen of coloured, formless, blocks - and instead paid tribute to the creative lengths the publisher's went to in order to promote the game.
At the 1983 Super Bowl two representatives of publisher Fox Games, dressed as giant tomatoes and sat in the stands holding signs that read "Beefsteak Tomatoes Demand Revenge". Wacky!
At the 1983 Super Bowl two representatives of publisher Fox Games, dressed as giant tomatoes and sat in the stands holding signs that read "Beefsteak Tomatoes Demand Revenge". Wacky!
3. TAX AVOIDERS
Created by Darrell Wagner, a "Licensed Tax Consultant and former IRS Revenue Agent" and Todd Clark Holm, "an independent investment advisor, registered with the S.E.C.", you might expect Tax Avoiders to have been some sort of in-depth simulation of offshore banking and "ponzi" schemes.
The blurb in the manual would appear to back this up:
"The year is divided into 635 days, 12 months and 4 seasons. During each season there are two screens, an income screen and an investment/shelter screen. During the income screen, you must accumulate as much income "$" as possible while avoiding the costly governmental red tape. To reach the various bureaucratic levels, you must catch the elevator in the center of the screen. This takes you to the various levels, slowly like normal governmental action. Approximately half way through the season, you are switched to the second screen which allows you to obtain varoius Tax Sheltered Investments. Here, you are being pursued by a character who is consistently moving into and out of the private enterprise system and governmental employment. This is symbolized by color changes; black, pink and green. In the black mode he is Eggie, an IRS Revenue Agent trying to chatch you for audit. When caught, you are audited and ALWAYS lose. You are then taxed at the maximum rate of 50% and sent back to work in the income screen. There are no appeals to tax court. In the pink mode he is Waggie, a CPA who is soliciting your business. If he catches you, or you go to him, he charges you $1,000. You will find his fee, though expensive, is worth paying because he will always provide a more valuable Tax Sheltered Investment than the one previously available. In the green mode he is Toodles, a Registered Investment Advisor who can help you maximize your income by providing the best Tax Sheltered Investment available. When green, it is to your benefit to catch him. Depending on the amount of time left before your taxes are due (the end of the season) it may or may not be beneficial to wait for the IRS Agent to become the Investment Advisor. At the end of the season your taxes are collected through automatic quarterly withholding. The amount of tax collected depends on which Tax Sheltered Investment you have in your portfolio. You are then sent back to work (screen 1) to earn more income."
No. This was essentially just a sort of Pac-Man clone.
The blurb in the manual would appear to back this up:
"The year is divided into 635 days, 12 months and 4 seasons. During each season there are two screens, an income screen and an investment/shelter screen. During the income screen, you must accumulate as much income "$" as possible while avoiding the costly governmental red tape. To reach the various bureaucratic levels, you must catch the elevator in the center of the screen. This takes you to the various levels, slowly like normal governmental action. Approximately half way through the season, you are switched to the second screen which allows you to obtain varoius Tax Sheltered Investments. Here, you are being pursued by a character who is consistently moving into and out of the private enterprise system and governmental employment. This is symbolized by color changes; black, pink and green. In the black mode he is Eggie, an IRS Revenue Agent trying to chatch you for audit. When caught, you are audited and ALWAYS lose. You are then taxed at the maximum rate of 50% and sent back to work in the income screen. There are no appeals to tax court. In the pink mode he is Waggie, a CPA who is soliciting your business. If he catches you, or you go to him, he charges you $1,000. You will find his fee, though expensive, is worth paying because he will always provide a more valuable Tax Sheltered Investment than the one previously available. In the green mode he is Toodles, a Registered Investment Advisor who can help you maximize your income by providing the best Tax Sheltered Investment available. When green, it is to your benefit to catch him. Depending on the amount of time left before your taxes are due (the end of the season) it may or may not be beneficial to wait for the IRS Agent to become the Investment Advisor. At the end of the season your taxes are collected through automatic quarterly withholding. The amount of tax collected depends on which Tax Sheltered Investment you have in your portfolio. You are then sent back to work (screen 1) to earn more income."
No. This was essentially just a sort of Pac-Man clone.
2. LORD OF THE RINGS
Never released, the Atari 2600 Lord of the Rings game showed more promise than most of the other efforts on the list. It followed Frogurt's legendary journey from Hobbityboo to Floppyville - while being pursued by Ring Wraiths, whatever they are. Not quite an RPG, but not far off, the leaked prototype nevertheless featured a number of characters from the books, who could be called upon to protect Frogurt from the hooded badniks. Note: when we say "promise" that doesn't indicate that it ever lived up to its promise.
1. MARIO BROS.
Before Nintendo properly got its act together, the original Mario Bros. made its way to a number of home systems - including the Atari 2600. To be fair, this wasn't a bad interpretation of the Nintendo classic - but was hampered by a constant grating sound, that appeared to be an attempt to simulate the noise of walking. The only real way of playing it without being compelled to jam pencils into your ears was to keep the sound down.
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