Jesus Effing Christ. As if the world wasn't awful enough already, now they're bringing back Bubsy the Bobcat - one of the most unloveable and wretched video game characters of all time.
"What can possibly go wrong?!" Bubsy would bellow with teeth-jarring regularity. Well, we've finally been given an answer to his rhetorical question: what has gone wrong is that Bubsy the Bobcat is coming back.
Publisher Retroism is hoping to re-release Bubsy in Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind and Bubsy II (both originally published by Accolade back in the 90s) by touting its unnecessary wares on Steam Greenilight. If the project inexplicably gets sufficient support, they'll be releasing the compilation - under the nonsensical title Bubsy Two-Fur - before the end of the year.
Far be it from Digitiser2000 to squat upon the chips of a small outfit like Retroism, who we're sure are lovely people, but we must accept that even if your best friend was trying to hatch a "Hitler Egg", you'd still have to do everything in your power to stop him/her.
With that in mind, here are ten things that Retroism could be doing with Bubsy the Bobcat instead of inflicting him upon the world once more. Specifically, ten ways drawn from a 1930s German health and safety pamphlet on the dangers of electricity.
"What can possibly go wrong?!" Bubsy would bellow with teeth-jarring regularity. Well, we've finally been given an answer to his rhetorical question: what has gone wrong is that Bubsy the Bobcat is coming back.
Publisher Retroism is hoping to re-release Bubsy in Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind and Bubsy II (both originally published by Accolade back in the 90s) by touting its unnecessary wares on Steam Greenilight. If the project inexplicably gets sufficient support, they'll be releasing the compilation - under the nonsensical title Bubsy Two-Fur - before the end of the year.
Far be it from Digitiser2000 to squat upon the chips of a small outfit like Retroism, who we're sure are lovely people, but we must accept that even if your best friend was trying to hatch a "Hitler Egg", you'd still have to do everything in your power to stop him/her.
With that in mind, here are ten things that Retroism could be doing with Bubsy the Bobcat instead of inflicting him upon the world once more. Specifically, ten ways drawn from a 1930s German health and safety pamphlet on the dangers of electricity.
10. MAKE HIM SWEEP THE FLOOR SO VIGOROUSLY THAT HIS BROOM CATCHES FIRE.
9. TELL HIM THERE'S NO BETTER FEELING THAN PEEING OFF A BRIDGE.
8. GET HIM TO SUCK ON THE END OF ONE OF THOSE JOKE "BUZZING" SKIPPING ROPES... AND THEN PLUG IT IN.
7. TAKE HIM HAY-SURFING NEAR SOME POWER LINES.
6. REMIND HIM THAT TODAY IS 'NATIONAL PUT THE TWEEZERS IN THE POWER SOCKET DAY'.
5. ADVISE HIM THAT THE BEST TIME TO CHANGE A BULB IS RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF BEING SO TERRIFIED YOU'VE WET YOURSELF NEAR A TROUGH.
4. SUGGEST THAT THE BEST TIME TO MILK A COW IS WHEN THE COW IS HAVING A "CHEEKY BOOGIE".
3. TELL HIM TO GRASP ALL THE LAMPS.
2. GOAD HIM TO ANGRILY JAB AT A VOLTMETER WITH A PAIR OF TRAUMA SHEARS, BECAUSE THE VOLTMETER SAID SOMETHING DEROGATORY ABOUT HIS MOTHER.
1. REMIND HIM THAT HE CAN ALWAYS ADJUST THE LIGHT ABOVE HIS BATHTUB IF HE WANTS TO GET A BETTER LOOK AT HIS "FURBALLS" (TESTICLES), WHILE PLEASURING THE INVISIBLE MAN.
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