Of course, these days, marketing is all viral. If you want your product to sell you just bribe some fresh-faced narcissist on YouTube - too young to know better - to plug your product to their 15 million+ subscribers (who are similarly too young/stupid to understand what's happening) and you're away.
Not so long ago, the world was different. Products had to rely on things called "adverts" for promotion. Here are ten of these so-called "adverts" from a more innocent and less self-absorbed age, when computers were strictly the domain of proper nerds.
Not so long ago, the world was different. Products had to rely on things called "adverts" for promotion. Here are ten of these so-called "adverts" from a more innocent and less self-absorbed age, when computers were strictly the domain of proper nerds.
10. COMMODORE AMIGA
Happy birthday to the Amiga - it's 30 years this week since Commodore released the Amiga 1000. The Amiga was something of a phenomenon among a certain generation, but - regrettably - it wasn't all that long after the Amiga's launch that Commodore fell apart like a Copydexed hovercraft. At least some small part of the blame could be laid at the feet of the above ad, which attempted to sell the system off the back of an impenetrable slogan - "Re-experience the mind unbounded" - and an image that conjurs memories of the grotesque abominations in John Carpenter's seminal 80s horror movie, The Thing.
9. PENRIL MODEM
We're not sure about you, but we can't imagine ever finding a modem sexy, even if said modem is a "Penril" modem. They missed a trick by failing to use the phrase "Buy another modem at your 'Penril'".
8. DESIGNWARE
"It's got real good graphics," says 'Numbers' Gans of Mathmaze, demonstrating why he isn't nicknamed 'Spoken English' Gans. Here's Gans posing with his favourite number - a number 4. Which, by coincidence, is also something he's just done in the lavatory.
7. ELECTRONIC MAIL
What the heck is Electronic Mail? If we are to believe Honeywell, Electronic Mail is a terrifying and mischievous, fizzing, faerie sprite that'll make your eyes bulge out of your head like you've got a thyroid disorder.
6. CHALK BOARD
We appreciate that computer art software was in its infancy back then, but - judging from the infantile scrawl on his monitor - not even Leonardo da Vinci could use it to produce a masterpiece.
5. COMMODRE 64
FATHER: "Listen to your mother, children."
MOTHER: "Children, I am going to crush your skulls between my hands."
CHILDREN: "Yaaay! Heaven!"
MOTHER: "Children, I am going to crush your skulls between my hands."
CHILDREN: "Yaaay! Heaven!"
4. ACE 1200
If there's one thing Benjamin Franklin was known for, it was his love of "hoagies". Nothing could put a smile on the face of the renowned polymath like a brown paper bag full of "hoagie" subs - not even flying a kite during a thunderstorm. Breakfast, lunch and dinner, Franklin would wolf down "hoagies". "Hoagie" after "hoagie" would be obsessive-compulsively shovelled into his mouth, as he laughed and snorted, often almost choking himself to death, as drool and snot ran down his chin. But on he chewed... on and on and on...
3. APPLE
When you look at Apple today, with their none-more-cool, razor-sharp marketing, it's difficult to imagine that it wasn't always so slick. Back in the day, the company was content to advertise its products like this: by showing a middle-aged computer store manager restraining a young boy firmly by the shoulders, as the boy's parents shop nearby, utterly oblivious to the unfurling subtext of this distressing scenario.
2. ODYSSEY 2
Let's be honest... nobody who bought the Odyssey 2 speech module programmed it to say "Geewizbang".
1. TEXAS INSTRUMENTS
Only with hindsight is Texas Instruments' choice of celebrity endorsement consider to be somewhat awkward. We wonder if America's Dad has just used his TI Home Computer to fill out a quaalude prescription...
RSS Feed
