Right then. We've had the NES Classic Mini. We're getting the Super NES Classic Mini. All wisdom would suggest that next year we're going to get a Nintendo 64 Classic Mini. Well... maybe.
Truthfully, it's going to be a harder system to recreate, given that the games require that much more storage, and the stupid N64 pad is potentially more expensive to recreate.
Still, we can but dream; and dream we all do. Why, last night I had a dream that ITV broadcast a retrospective on chickens, entitled "Now and Hen".
Hennyway... here are hen less obvious N64 games which I demand that Nintendo consider for any miniaturised Henhendo 64 Hens.
Truthfully, it's going to be a harder system to recreate, given that the games require that much more storage, and the stupid N64 pad is potentially more expensive to recreate.
Still, we can but dream; and dream we all do. Why, last night I had a dream that ITV broadcast a retrospective on chickens, entitled "Now and Hen".
Hennyway... here are hen less obvious N64 games which I demand that Nintendo consider for any miniaturised Henhendo 64 Hens.
GOLDENEYE
Goldeneye? More like "olden guy"!!!!! Amirite?!?
I've not idea what that means... but I still like it!
Wait a minute... didn't I say this was going to be underrated and lesser known games? Yes. Yes I did. But let's face it: none of us are would really expect Goldeneye to appear on an N64 Mini.
This is the only Rare game in this list, because all the other Rare games are either shoe-ins for any N64 Mini - the Donkey Kongs of this world - or already widely available on that Rare collection that was released fairly recently. Of course, there was one glaring omission from that anthology; Goldeneye... a game so good that it has become more fondly remembered than the movie it was based on.
Unfortunately, being based on a movie means that Goldeneye has never had any sort of re-release. Oh, there have been games which have pretended to be a new version of N64 Goldeneye, and those which sought to cash in on it, but the reality is this: Goldeneye is a mire of impenetrable rights issues, and nobody seems willing to spend the time or money required to untangle it.
I say this to Nintendo: sort it out, loves. For most of us, the N64 was about two games: Super Mario 64 and Goldeneye. If you are doing an N64 Mini - it HAS to be on there.
I've not idea what that means... but I still like it!
Wait a minute... didn't I say this was going to be underrated and lesser known games? Yes. Yes I did. But let's face it: none of us are would really expect Goldeneye to appear on an N64 Mini.
This is the only Rare game in this list, because all the other Rare games are either shoe-ins for any N64 Mini - the Donkey Kongs of this world - or already widely available on that Rare collection that was released fairly recently. Of course, there was one glaring omission from that anthology; Goldeneye... a game so good that it has become more fondly remembered than the movie it was based on.
Unfortunately, being based on a movie means that Goldeneye has never had any sort of re-release. Oh, there have been games which have pretended to be a new version of N64 Goldeneye, and those which sought to cash in on it, but the reality is this: Goldeneye is a mire of impenetrable rights issues, and nobody seems willing to spend the time or money required to untangle it.
I say this to Nintendo: sort it out, loves. For most of us, the N64 was about two games: Super Mario 64 and Goldeneye. If you are doing an N64 Mini - it HAS to be on there.
SPACE STATION SILICON VALLEY
The N64 wasn't short of 3D platformers, though most of them struggled in the wake of Super Mario 64. DMA's Space Station Silicon Valley avoided the more overt Mario comparisons by doing something slightly different.
After your robotic body is destroyed in a crash, you have to use your silicon chip form to take over the bodies of the various animals which inhabit - yes - Space Station Silicon Valley. You know: a bit like you'll soon be able to do in Super Mario Odyssey.
What really marked out the game was its peculiarly British sense of humour. Although, admittedly, some of it - such as one level's dubious instruction to "kill that fat ugly bird" - were clearly a product of less enlightened and compassionate era, and may have to be altered for any re-release.
Little wonder that DMA went on to create Grand Theft Auto...
After your robotic body is destroyed in a crash, you have to use your silicon chip form to take over the bodies of the various animals which inhabit - yes - Space Station Silicon Valley. You know: a bit like you'll soon be able to do in Super Mario Odyssey.
What really marked out the game was its peculiarly British sense of humour. Although, admittedly, some of it - such as one level's dubious instruction to "kill that fat ugly bird" - were clearly a product of less enlightened and compassionate era, and may have to be altered for any re-release.
Little wonder that DMA went on to create Grand Theft Auto...
1080 SNOWBOARDING
I really, really, loved 1080 Snowboarding. I used to turn the music down so that I could enjoy the soft swooshing of my snowboard. Having recently played it again, it hasn't aged quite as well as I'd have hoped, but still... snoooooow. SNOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Ha ha.
Snuh... suh... snuh.... S-SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ha ha ha! Sssssno?
Ha ha.
Snuh... suh... snuh.... S-SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ha ha ha! Sssssno?
WAVE RACE 64
Sold to us as a sort of aquatic F-Zero - a message that wasn't entirely true - Wave Race 64 definitely deserves to be remembered more fondly than it is.
The undulating water effects were more than cosmetic, and genuinely affected the handling of your jet ski. In their own way, they were every bit as groundbreaking as F-Zero's demonstration of the Super NES's Mode 7. They were so wet-looking that they actually made me thirsty!!!! That's actually not a joke; I always wanted a drink of liquid after playing Wave Race 64.
If anything, the only reason it's not considered a classic is that it wasn't quite as immediately playable as F-Zero - the dynamic waves making it more challenging to the average pleb. Also: it was produced by Shigeru Miyamoto, so... y'know. He's usually pretty reliable.
The undulating water effects were more than cosmetic, and genuinely affected the handling of your jet ski. In their own way, they were every bit as groundbreaking as F-Zero's demonstration of the Super NES's Mode 7. They were so wet-looking that they actually made me thirsty!!!! That's actually not a joke; I always wanted a drink of liquid after playing Wave Race 64.
If anything, the only reason it's not considered a classic is that it wasn't quite as immediately playable as F-Zero - the dynamic waves making it more challenging to the average pleb. Also: it was produced by Shigeru Miyamoto, so... y'know. He's usually pretty reliable.
MISCHIEF MAKERS
Treasure developed some of the greatest side-scrolling platform shoot 'em ups ever - Dynamite Headdy, Gunstar Heroes, Alien Soldier to name but ten (minus seven) - but Mischief Makers has somehow slipped through the cracks. And that's a shame, because it bears all the hallmarks of their house style, while ramping it up significantly - with mischief!
Admittedly, the N64 is better remembered for its 3D games, and as the first side-scrolling 2D title on the system, that might be why Mischief Makers was overlooked. Alright, so it isn't the prettiest game - clearly a result of the developer struggling to work on a machine built for 3D - but it's playable as ruddy heck.
Admittedly, the N64 is better remembered for its 3D games, and as the first side-scrolling 2D title on the system, that might be why Mischief Makers was overlooked. Alright, so it isn't the prettiest game - clearly a result of the developer struggling to work on a machine built for 3D - but it's playable as ruddy heck.
WETRIX
Wave Race wasn't the only N64 game to impress with its water effects - Zed Two's Wetrix (known as Aqua Aqua elsewhere in the world due to reasons) was a similarly damp game. I remember the Pickford Brothers demonstrating it to Mr Hairs and I at their Manchester HQ, and being so impressed that I became unpleasantly moist!
The concept - a landscape that gradually filled with water, which had to be contained by raising and lowering the land - was fiendishly simple, and irritatingly addictive.
The concept - a landscape that gradually filled with water, which had to be contained by raising and lowering the land - was fiendishly simple, and irritatingly addictive.
MYSTICAL NINJA 2 STARRING GOEMON
Those of us who don't live in Japan are missing out on the inclusion of Mystical Ninja on the Japanese Super NES Mini, but maybe we could get its almost-as-great sequel, Goemon's Great Adventure (as it was known everywhere but Europe).
Though more focused and linear than its free-roaming predecessors, it boasted the same bonkers sense of humour, and subtle between-level RPG elements.
Also, it allowed you to make the following Elvis Presley/Eddie Cochran reference: "Goemon everybody!".
Though more focused and linear than its free-roaming predecessors, it boasted the same bonkers sense of humour, and subtle between-level RPG elements.
Also, it allowed you to make the following Elvis Presley/Eddie Cochran reference: "Goemon everybody!".
BODY HARVEST
The second DMA Design game on this list, Body Harvest subverted expectations of being a fairly predictable third-person 3D shoot 'em up, by having the player fight alien insects in different periods of history. Via the miracle of time travel, the game took you from World War 1-era Greece, to 1960s America, to the dystopian and depressing near-future of 2016...
As well as wiping out all the aliens in a given area, the player had to minimise casualties. Too many civilian deaths, and it was game over. Rather excellently, the player wasn't limited to running around on foot, but could also acquisition various land, sea and air vehicles.
Again: no wonder DMA went on to create Grand Theft Auto.
As well as wiping out all the aliens in a given area, the player had to minimise casualties. Too many civilian deaths, and it was game over. Rather excellently, the player wasn't limited to running around on foot, but could also acquisition various land, sea and air vehicles.
Again: no wonder DMA went on to create Grand Theft Auto.
BEETLE ADVENTURE RACING
A game designed to promote the new Volkswagen Beetle shouldn't have been this good; Beetle Adventure Racing remains one of the best racers ever to grace the N64.
Admittedly, your choice of vehicles is limited to various spins on the basic Beetle model, but the graphics were among the nicest seen on the N64, eschewing the usual cartoonish visuals for something more grounded and muted - as befits a stupid little car for idiots.
Admittedly, your choice of vehicles is limited to various spins on the basic Beetle model, but the graphics were among the nicest seen on the N64, eschewing the usual cartoonish visuals for something more grounded and muted - as befits a stupid little car for idiots.
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