Given that Sonic's heyday was more than 20 years ago - his legacy sullied by countless weak sequels and spin-offs and general mishandling of one of gaming's greatest characters - it's fair to say that a movie is a little overdue.
Nevertheless, there can be few Sonicheads who aren't already excited for what is certain to be a cinematic masterpiece - providing the moviemakers remember to cater to the hedgehog that is fast's still-sizeable fanbase!
Here are 10 things we all want to see in a Sonic The Hedgehog film.
We cut to years later. Sonic is at school. His best friend turns to him and says: "So, Nic - did you do your homework?".
Tight close-up on Nicholas, rubbing his chin...
"Hmm... what did you say?"
"I said, so, Nic - "
Suddenly, a Chaos Emerald falls from space, streaking like a comet across the sky, crashing through the roof of the school, and killing the friend instantly. An explosion of fire, skull bone fragments, and gore.
"I will never forget your final words to me," says the hedgehog that is fast, cradling his friend's headless corpse, as the top of his spine pokes out of his neck-nub and flaps around like a sausage that's too big for its bun. Sonic kisses goodby to what's left of his friend, planting a big smacker on the tip of his vertebrae.
"I'm going to start running from this horrible memory - and I won't ever stop! From this day forth I shall be known... as So, Nic!"
"I'm Jesus, and this I something I'm pretty good at!" shouts The Lord while hunched over a sofa, making aggressive love to the snood.
"What are you doing, father?" asks His son, walking in on Him.
"This is how you were made," snaps the Son of God twice, furiously.
The naked, shuffling, trouserless, Jesus suddenly advances on Sonic, huffing and grinding His teeth, as Sonic flees from the room, and slams the door behind him, tears in his eyes.
"I don't know what this - borax - is or why I want to eat it," whispers Sonic, "But this is a thing that I am doing today."
Cue five long scenes of Sonic chowing down on that spicy mineral compound, while the word "BORAX" flashes up on screen in a way that will give even the hardiest moviegoer some of that sweet epilepsy!
He peers through the window of a hospice, and watches his elderly self choke to death on a quoit, surrounded by the last remaining members of The Polyphonic Spree!
"And that is that," bellows the hedgehog that is fast, while removing his famous white gloves to reveal a pair of mangled claws.
- "I'm dirty!"
- "I am capable of recovery!"
- "Buy one, get one free!"
- "I can smell terror!"
- "I'm pregnant - with lust!"
- "Ugh! Groan!"
- "9/11: never forget!"
- "Get ready for a Tickle Deluxe!"
"The end," barks Sonic the hedgehog boi that is fast, before winking at the audience, and licking what there is of his own neck.