We're old enough to remember what life was like in the 1980s: it was all Gripper Stebson, power cuts, the Mary Rose un-sinking, and exploding Space Shuttles. It was a particularly notable decade for video games fans - as Atari crashed, and the home computer scene rose from its ashes, like a phunny phoenix.
Here are ten things that everybody who played games in the 1980s will never forget.
Here are ten things that everybody who played games in the 1980s will never forget.
10. GETTING A VISIT FROM THE PIXEL MAN
Back in the 80s, it felt as if the pixel mining industry would go on forever. With home computer games demanding a steady stream of pixels, most of us can remember the weekly visit from the pixel man. We'd hear his pixel lorry trundling up our street, playing a tinkly version of Greensleeves, or the theme music to M*A*S*H.
"Pixels! Gertcha little blocks here-ah!" he would bellow from his cab, before marching up your path, and pouring a sack of fresh pixels over your back gate.
We now know that the Thatcher government closed down most pixel mines in the early-90s - leading to the collapse of the 8-bit mining industry - and pixels became increasingly rare in video games. It's only relatively recently - with the development of controversial pixelfracking - that we've seen pixels returning to games.
"Pixels! Gertcha little blocks here-ah!" he would bellow from his cab, before marching up your path, and pouring a sack of fresh pixels over your back gate.
We now know that the Thatcher government closed down most pixel mines in the early-90s - leading to the collapse of the 8-bit mining industry - and pixels became increasingly rare in video games. It's only relatively recently - with the development of controversial pixelfracking - that we've seen pixels returning to games.
9. YOUR LOCAL GAMES PIRATE
It might not have been strictly legal, but everybody knew a computer game pirate. Our one lived at the end of our road in the wreck of an old galleon. We never knew his name, but we knew he'd always be good for the latest games.
"Yaarrrrr! It be Chuckie Egg you're looking for, you scurvy dog!" he'd growl, while dispatching his bosun to fetch us a bootleg copy. "Cross my palm with doubloons and we'll say no more. Yarrrrr!"
Of course, pirates now exist only online, after they were driven underground by the crusading agents of the Federation Against Software Theft, in their anti-piracy frigates. Towards the end of the decade, we'd often lie awake at night hearing the cannons of the F.A.S.T. ships firing, knowing that the golden age of piracy was drawing to a close...
"Yaarrrrr! It be Chuckie Egg you're looking for, you scurvy dog!" he'd growl, while dispatching his bosun to fetch us a bootleg copy. "Cross my palm with doubloons and we'll say no more. Yarrrrr!"
Of course, pirates now exist only online, after they were driven underground by the crusading agents of the Federation Against Software Theft, in their anti-piracy frigates. Towards the end of the decade, we'd often lie awake at night hearing the cannons of the F.A.S.T. ships firing, knowing that the golden age of piracy was drawing to a close...
8. PLAYING GAMES ON CASETTE
Kids these days don't know how lucky they've got it, with their download games. Back in the 80s, we all had to play games on massive cassettes, which we'd have to carry home from the shops in a special wheelbarrow.
The size of them gradually came down over the course of the decade, but the first home computer tapes were roughly the dimensions of the average family car, and needed a cassette deck the size of a garden shed! If you had a particularly large collection of games, there was barely any space in your bedroom to sleep in!
The size of them gradually came down over the course of the decade, but the first home computer tapes were roughly the dimensions of the average family car, and needed a cassette deck the size of a garden shed! If you had a particularly large collection of games, there was barely any space in your bedroom to sleep in!
7. WHEN JET SET WILLY WENT ON STRIKE
We can all remember that day we loaded up Manic Miner or Jet Set Willy, only for the titular hero to be nowhere in sight.
With nothing else to do, we switched on the TV - perhaps to watch an episode of Dogtanian, or Morph - to find news reports on every channel, talking about how Miner Willy had taken industrial action, demanding better conditions, and more lives.
We were too young to understand what it was all about - Dad kept complaining about "The bloody unions bringing this country to its knees" . We just know that things went from bad to worse when other games characters went on sympathy strike in solidarity: Wally Week, Sabreman, Daley Thompson, Horace. Only that filthy scab Dizzy kept working.
With nothing else to do, we switched on the TV - perhaps to watch an episode of Dogtanian, or Morph - to find news reports on every channel, talking about how Miner Willy had taken industrial action, demanding better conditions, and more lives.
We were too young to understand what it was all about - Dad kept complaining about "The bloody unions bringing this country to its knees" . We just know that things went from bad to worse when other games characters went on sympathy strike in solidarity: Wally Week, Sabreman, Daley Thompson, Horace. Only that filthy scab Dizzy kept working.
6. REMEMBERING EXACTLY WHERE YOU WERE 13 YEARS TO THE DAY BEFORE THE PSONE WAS RELEASED.
The PSOne was released on September 29th 2000.
Exactly 13 years previously, on September 29th 1987, everyone, wherever they were, turned to the person nearest to them and remarked: "On this day 13 years hence, Sony shall release a smaller, redesigned version of its first home console, and it shall be called the PSOne. We must never forget this day."
And to this day we haven't!
Exactly 13 years previously, on September 29th 1987, everyone, wherever they were, turned to the person nearest to them and remarked: "On this day 13 years hence, Sony shall release a smaller, redesigned version of its first home console, and it shall be called the PSOne. We must never forget this day."
And to this day we haven't!
5. THE DAY A CLIVE SINCLAIR GOT INTO YOUR SCHOOL
It was a magic moment whenever we looked out of our classroom window, to see a Clive Sinclair wandering around the playground, clutching a ZX81, and looking a little lost.
One of the teachers would usually be dispatched to chase him away - but not before he'd led them a merry dance, running in circles, panting, wagging his ZX81, and peeing up a bench.
One of the teachers would usually be dispatched to chase him away - but not before he'd led them a merry dance, running in circles, panting, wagging his ZX81, and peeing up a bench.
4. HACKING INTO THE PENTAGON
Hacking was much simpler back in the day. All you had to do to make some hacking happen was place your telephone receiver on top of your Spectrum or Commodore 64, type the words "10 HACK INTO PENTAGON/20 GOTO 10" onto the screen, and you were off.
From that point, it was entirely up to you whether to continue onwards. "10 START COLD WAR/20 PRINT 'PENIS'/20 GOTO TEN".
From that point, it was entirely up to you whether to continue onwards. "10 START COLD WAR/20 PRINT 'PENIS'/20 GOTO TEN".
3. TYPING IN PROGRAMS FROM COMPUTER MAGAZINES
The computer programs printed in the magazines of the day promised so much - a full-blown Space Invaders, Pac-Man, Donkey Kong - but some of them would take literally years to type in. In fact, some of them are still being typed-in today!
2. DISCOVERING YOU HAD A BUM
Before people had home computers, nobody was quite sure whether or not they had a bum. A group of early bedroom coders were able to write a program which proved - conclusively - that they had bums, and pretty soon the home computer boom had begun.
Suffice to say, once news of the discovery had spread around the world, it convinced many parents to buy home computers for their kids, so that they too could use them to prove they had bums. Of course, most of us just used them for playing games!
Suffice to say, once news of the discovery had spread around the world, it convinced many parents to buy home computers for their kids, so that they too could use them to prove they had bums. Of course, most of us just used them for playing games!
1. BRONK'S FIRST FUNERAL
Bronk dies in most games these days, but there was a first time for everything, and the earliest documented incidence of a games character having to attend Bronk's Funeral was in the Commodore 64 version of Yie Ar Kung Fu.
It was hidden as an Easter Egg - if the player lost three fights in a row without landing a single blow on their opponent, then pressed T, Y and SHIFT at the same time, they would be transported to a remote cemetery where Bronk was being laid to rest.
Sadly, despite being the first recorded Bronk's Funeral, there were no clues as to his (or her) identity - and the programmers have denied all knowledge of including it in their game. The mystery continues!
It was hidden as an Easter Egg - if the player lost three fights in a row without landing a single blow on their opponent, then pressed T, Y and SHIFT at the same time, they would be transported to a remote cemetery where Bronk was being laid to rest.
Sadly, despite being the first recorded Bronk's Funeral, there were no clues as to his (or her) identity - and the programmers have denied all knowledge of including it in their game. The mystery continues!
FROM THE ARCHIVE:
10 THINGS EVERY NINETIES GAMER REMEMBERS
12 FACES EVERY GAMER RECOGNISES - INTRODUCED BY INSINCERE DAVE
HERE ARE 10 VITAL THINGS EVERY GAMER SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THEIR CONSUMER RIGHTS... BUT FOR SOME REASON WE'VE PLACED THEM IN A GALLERY OF CHILDREN WITH DISGUSTING SNOT BUBBLES, WHICH IN RETROSPECT MIGHT'VE BEEN A MISTAKE
10 THINGS EVERY NINETIES GAMER REMEMBERS
12 FACES EVERY GAMER RECOGNISES - INTRODUCED BY INSINCERE DAVE
HERE ARE 10 VITAL THINGS EVERY GAMER SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THEIR CONSUMER RIGHTS... BUT FOR SOME REASON WE'VE PLACED THEM IN A GALLERY OF CHILDREN WITH DISGUSTING SNOT BUBBLES, WHICH IN RETROSPECT MIGHT'VE BEEN A MISTAKE
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