"Fire, I'll take you to burn.
Fire, I'll take you to learn.
You're gonna burn!
You're gonna burn!
You're gonna burn!
Burn, burn, burn, burn, burn,
burn, burn, burn, burn, burnahhhhhhhhh!
Fire, I'll take you to burn.
Fire, I'll take you to learn.
Fire, I'll take you to burn.
Fire, fire ahhhhh...!"
So sung Arthur "Brown" from The Crazy World of Arthur Brown, on their 1968 single Fire. And never has a truer word been spoken.
Given how exciting and dangerous fire can be, it's surprising that there haven't been more purely fire-based games released over the years. Perhaps it's because fire is so difficult to recreate, or maybe it's because gamers prefer shooting foreigners. However, there have been at least a handful of bold attempts to simulate the firefighting experience. And here? Here are but ten of them.
"Button" of them. Button... Butt... bum...? Bumbum... poo!
<FIRE ENGINE SIREN NOISE>
Fire, I'll take you to learn.
You're gonna burn!
You're gonna burn!
You're gonna burn!
Burn, burn, burn, burn, burn,
burn, burn, burn, burn, burnahhhhhhhhh!
Fire, I'll take you to burn.
Fire, I'll take you to learn.
Fire, I'll take you to burn.
Fire, fire ahhhhh...!"
So sung Arthur "Brown" from The Crazy World of Arthur Brown, on their 1968 single Fire. And never has a truer word been spoken.
Given how exciting and dangerous fire can be, it's surprising that there haven't been more purely fire-based games released over the years. Perhaps it's because fire is so difficult to recreate, or maybe it's because gamers prefer shooting foreigners. However, there have been at least a handful of bold attempts to simulate the firefighting experience. And here? Here are but ten of them.
"Button" of them. Button... Butt... bum...? Bumbum... poo!
<FIRE ENGINE SIREN NOISE>
FIRE TRUCK
Yeah, I know I wrote about this 1978 arcade game the other day, but - hey - I like repeating myself. So sue me already!
What I didn't mention is that there was also a one-player version of Atari's Fire Truck called Smokey Joe, that was identical barring the lack of a second steering wheel. Both featured little in the way of firefighting; the aim was to manoeuvre the fire truck through traffic without crashing. Which, yes, is an important aspect of being a firefighter, I guess.
"Remember not to crash the fire engine on your way to the fire, Tom..."
"Okay, chief!"
What I didn't mention is that there was also a one-player version of Atari's Fire Truck called Smokey Joe, that was identical barring the lack of a second steering wheel. Both featured little in the way of firefighting; the aim was to manoeuvre the fire truck through traffic without crashing. Which, yes, is an important aspect of being a firefighter, I guess.
"Remember not to crash the fire engine on your way to the fire, Tom..."
"Okay, chief!"
THE REN AND STIMPY SHOW: FIRE DOGS
For some reason, the Super NES was the premiere platform in the 90s for fire-based games. It all started here, rather unexpectedly, with a game based upon Nickelodeon's controversial Ren & Stimpy cartoon.
The aim was thus: playing as dimwitted Stimpy, players had to make their way through a firestation, collecting fire-fighting equipment while avoiding perils such as confused firemen, water sprinklers, and - something you'll find in every firestation - free-roaming balls of fire (frankly, if your own firestation is on fire, somebody isn't doing their job).
From there you'd proceed to a mini game where you would have to catch falling objects - chickens, clocks, statues - on one of those bouncy trampoline things. It was nicely animated, but horribly repetitive, and lacking the series' trademark humour... barring the occasional florid insult from Ren.
The aim was thus: playing as dimwitted Stimpy, players had to make their way through a firestation, collecting fire-fighting equipment while avoiding perils such as confused firemen, water sprinklers, and - something you'll find in every firestation - free-roaming balls of fire (frankly, if your own firestation is on fire, somebody isn't doing their job).
From there you'd proceed to a mini game where you would have to catch falling objects - chickens, clocks, statues - on one of those bouncy trampoline things. It was nicely animated, but horribly repetitive, and lacking the series' trademark humour... barring the occasional florid insult from Ren.
THE FIREMEN
This was more like it; The Firemen is something of a lost gem in the Super NES catalogue. Essentially a top-down shoot 'em up, albeit with hoses and water grenades instead of guns and bombs, and fire instead of traditional enemies, levels would climax with a battle against a "boss" fire.
I've certainly had a few bosses I'd like to set on fire!!!!! (That's just a joke. Please don't blacklist me...)
An equally-forgotten sequel was released on the PlayStation in 1995, but didn't make it out of Japan until it appeared on the PlayStation Network in 2014.
As good as it was, you could say it didn't exactly set the world on fire!!!!! I think I made that joke the other day. Oh well. Cheque, please!
I've certainly had a few bosses I'd like to set on fire!!!!! (That's just a joke. Please don't blacklist me...)
An equally-forgotten sequel was released on the PlayStation in 1995, but didn't make it out of Japan until it appeared on the PlayStation Network in 2014.
As good as it was, you could say it didn't exactly set the world on fire!!!!! I think I made that joke the other day. Oh well. Cheque, please!
THE IGNITION FACTOR
Another SNES release, The Ignition Factor was pretty much the same idea as The Firemen, but with less of the charm, blander graphics, and more of a strategic element. Players were tasked with rescuing people trapped in burning buildings, having first selected their firefighting equipment, depending on the type of fire; retardant foam for chemical fires, and damp tea towels for chip pan fires etc.
FARENHEIT
Developed initially for the 32X/Mega CD before also coming out as a standalone Mega CD title, Sega's Fahrenheit was a fairly typical full-motion video nonsense... but with more fire.
As with most of these games, scenes would play out, with the player occasionally being prompted to make decisions - left, right, etc. Let down by the limitations inherent in this sort of "interactive movie", the graphics were grainy even or the Mega CD.
Notably, the script was written by one Peter M. Lenkov, who went on to write for, among other things, the movie Demolition Man, 24 and the recent Hawaii 5-0 reboot. I wonder if he's ever been - ha ha - "fired" from a job!!!!
Pathetic.
As with most of these games, scenes would play out, with the player occasionally being prompted to make decisions - left, right, etc. Let down by the limitations inherent in this sort of "interactive movie", the graphics were grainy even or the Mega CD.
Notably, the script was written by one Peter M. Lenkov, who went on to write for, among other things, the movie Demolition Man, 24 and the recent Hawaii 5-0 reboot. I wonder if he's ever been - ha ha - "fired" from a job!!!!
Pathetic.
ROSCO MCQUEEN FIREFIGHTER EXTREME
A PlayStation fire-fighting nonsense released by Psygnosis, as with all the games on this list the aim was to - yes - extinguish fires.
But get this: your lantern-jawed hero also needed to destroy robots with an axe. Somebody needs to release a game set in the offices of Boston Dynamics where the aim is to do that and only that. Robots that can open doors and carry your shopping? It has gone too far.
Fun and colourful, Rosco McQueen was nevertheless let down by a terrible camera, and repetitive action. Both of which are criticisms which could be levelled at many famous celebrity sex tapes.
But get this: your lantern-jawed hero also needed to destroy robots with an axe. Somebody needs to release a game set in the offices of Boston Dynamics where the aim is to do that and only that. Robots that can open doors and carry your shopping? It has gone too far.
Fun and colourful, Rosco McQueen was nevertheless let down by a terrible camera, and repetitive action. Both of which are criticisms which could be levelled at many famous celebrity sex tapes.
BURNING RANGERS
Possibly the best known example of video game firefighting, Sega's Burning Rangers was as close as the Saturn ever got to a classic game.
Typically, however - this being a Saturn game - it was let down by the system itself, with glitchy graphics that often rendered levels a mess.
Produced by Sega icon Yuji Naka and his Sonic Team, it had more of a sci-fi setting than the other games in this list, with the player being equipped with a jetpack as well as the requisite firehose. Get this: it used the same game engine as Nights Into Dreams, and featured animated cutscenes created by the team behind the Akira movie.
Unfortunately, it was released at the arse-end of the Saturn's life, and - for all its glitches - probably deserved better than Sega could offer. Didn't we all, ladies and gentlemen?!?
Typically, however - this being a Saturn game - it was let down by the system itself, with glitchy graphics that often rendered levels a mess.
Produced by Sega icon Yuji Naka and his Sonic Team, it had more of a sci-fi setting than the other games in this list, with the player being equipped with a jetpack as well as the requisite firehose. Get this: it used the same game engine as Nights Into Dreams, and featured animated cutscenes created by the team behind the Akira movie.
Unfortunately, it was released at the arse-end of the Saturn's life, and - for all its glitches - probably deserved better than Sega could offer. Didn't we all, ladies and gentlemen?!?
EMERGENCY FIRE RESPONSE
A more serious sort of firefighting game that has spawned two sequels (including the absurdly named Firefighter Command Raging Inferno), 2003's Emergency Fire Response was essentially a real-time strategy game... but with firemen.
Players were required to utilise the unique skills of the firefighting squad's members. Each level would present different challenges - protecting evidence in the event of a suspected arson, squirting a quoit, or moistening a flaming wig, for example.
Players were required to utilise the unique skills of the firefighting squad's members. Each level would present different challenges - protecting evidence in the event of a suspected arson, squirting a quoit, or moistening a flaming wig, for example.
REAL HEROES: FIREFIGHTER
Released on the Wii, as well as the 3DS, Real Heroes: Firefighter played like a first-person shooter, with some neat cel-shaded visuals (spoiled only by the all-important fire effects), and some decent voice acting.
It did a pretty decent "fist" of recreating the chaos of entering a burning building, though slightly diluted the tension by featuring on-screen "KABOOM!"-type sound-effect bubbles, in the manner off the 1960s Batman TV series. Also, aiming your hose with the Wiimote was particularly challenging, albeit not in the manner intended. Well, presumably.
It did a pretty decent "fist" of recreating the chaos of entering a burning building, though slightly diluted the tension by featuring on-screen "KABOOM!"-type sound-effect bubbles, in the manner off the 1960s Batman TV series. Also, aiming your hose with the Wiimote was particularly challenging, albeit not in the manner intended. Well, presumably.
FIREFIGHTERS 2014
A PC firefighting game set in the space year 2014 AD (and, coincidentally, released in 2014 AD), Firefighters 2014 was another attempt at making a first-person firefighting game.
Admittedly a low-budget Steam title, despite being released four years after Real Heroes: Firefighter, it looked as if it had come out ten years before. The character animations were static, and the voice acting wooden (which was a risk, given that one of the most flammable materials around - do you see?).
It tried to simulate more of the real experience of being a firefighter; you could explore your firestation, interact with other characters, have a shower, and get drinks from vending machines. In fact, the only thing it left out were evenings spent watching mucky films with your colleagues.
More excitingly, you could even get to drive the fire engine. Less excitingly, your journeys were punctuated by long loading screens. Just like in real life!!!!!
Goodbye.
Admittedly a low-budget Steam title, despite being released four years after Real Heroes: Firefighter, it looked as if it had come out ten years before. The character animations were static, and the voice acting wooden (which was a risk, given that one of the most flammable materials around - do you see?).
It tried to simulate more of the real experience of being a firefighter; you could explore your firestation, interact with other characters, have a shower, and get drinks from vending machines. In fact, the only thing it left out were evenings spent watching mucky films with your colleagues.
More excitingly, you could even get to drive the fire engine. Less excitingly, your journeys were punctuated by long loading screens. Just like in real life!!!!!
Goodbye.
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