I never loved the Xbox. Everything about it was too bulky, too noisy, and it never really - to me anyway - justified its need to exist. Microsoft already had Windows and Solitaire and Minesweeper. Leave the consoles to people who know what they're doing.
Still, it gave the world the grossly overrated Halo franchise, but it wasn't until the 360 was released that I finally understood why Microsoft was even bothering. Fact is, the Xbox 360 is now probably my second favourite console after the Super NES.
Regardless, the original Xbox did well enough - over 24 million were sold - to make the 360 and One possible, and there must be a reason for that. And that reason is this reason: there were some genuinely good games available for it.
Here are ten of they.
Still, it gave the world the grossly overrated Halo franchise, but it wasn't until the 360 was released that I finally understood why Microsoft was even bothering. Fact is, the Xbox 360 is now probably my second favourite console after the Super NES.
Regardless, the original Xbox did well enough - over 24 million were sold - to make the 360 and One possible, and there must be a reason for that. And that reason is this reason: there were some genuinely good games available for it.
Here are ten of they.
PANZER DRAGOON ORTA
With no hardware to call its own, poor old Sega had to begin releasing its games on other people's consoles. You know: a bit like a recent divorcee turning up at random people's homes asking to cook them dinner.
This is why Panzer Dragoon Orta - the fourth game in Sega's on-rails shoot 'em up-and-sometimes-RPG series - ended up on the Xbox. It lost a little of the prog rock album cover-esque aesthetic, but retained everything else that made Panzer Dragoon great. To wit: the same frantic, lock-on shoot 'em up mechanics, and vast, fantastical, locations.
Memorably, one boss appeared to resemble a giant, floating, lotus flower, with prominent, dangling, testicles (see above).
This is why Panzer Dragoon Orta - the fourth game in Sega's on-rails shoot 'em up-and-sometimes-RPG series - ended up on the Xbox. It lost a little of the prog rock album cover-esque aesthetic, but retained everything else that made Panzer Dragoon great. To wit: the same frantic, lock-on shoot 'em up mechanics, and vast, fantastical, locations.
Memorably, one boss appeared to resemble a giant, floating, lotus flower, with prominent, dangling, testicles (see above).
JET SET RADIO FUTURE
Yes, Jet Set Radio Future was more of the same, cel-shaded skating and wall-tagging as had been seen on the Dreamcast, and yes it failed to be the hit that Sega (and the Xbox) desperately needed it to be, and yes it killed the series... but it deserved so much better.
Perhaps too self-consciously "cool" for its own good, it's nonetheless a crying shame that Sega never built further upon these foundations - which still hold up today. Definitely one of Sega's many great lost franchises.
Seriously; never trust Sega with your house keys.
Perhaps too self-consciously "cool" for its own good, it's nonetheless a crying shame that Sega never built further upon these foundations - which still hold up today. Definitely one of Sega's many great lost franchises.
Seriously; never trust Sega with your house keys.
HALO 2
I'm putting this in here somewhat begrudgingly, because there are things about Halo 2 which I don't like at all - but they're mostly tropes of the entire Halo franchise. Also, a curtailed development of Halo 2 meant that they never got to finish the game, and the woefully brief campaign had to end it on an abrupt cliffhanger.
Nonetheless, Halo 2 was, at least, a step up from its predecessor in gameplay terms - notably, there was far less of the repeating of areas which had made Halo such a bore at times - and the multiplayer was solid. Also, you got to play as a Covenant alien, which helped further with the variety.
Didn't do much for the lack of heft to the weapons, mind, which still felt like you were limply flinging marshmallows at a duvet.
Nonetheless, Halo 2 was, at least, a step up from its predecessor in gameplay terms - notably, there was far less of the repeating of areas which had made Halo such a bore at times - and the multiplayer was solid. Also, you got to play as a Covenant alien, which helped further with the variety.
Didn't do much for the lack of heft to the weapons, mind, which still felt like you were limply flinging marshmallows at a duvet.
BEYOND GOOD & EVIL
A weird game which wasn't the smash Ubisoft had hoped for (but has had enough of a long life that we're finally getting a follow-up), Beyond Good And Evil was a third-person action game in the Lara Croft vein, with vehicle sections, stealth areas, and puzzle solving.
The intergalactic scale of the story was properly epic, more RPG than action game, and was so idiosyncratic that, of course, the game flopped.
When will you learn? People don't want stuff that's not like other stuff!
The intergalactic scale of the story was properly epic, more RPG than action game, and was so idiosyncratic that, of course, the game flopped.
When will you learn? People don't want stuff that's not like other stuff!
MERCENARIES
Published by LucasArts, of all people, Mercenaries might be the most influential game on this list. Its huge, sandbox world and destructible buildings are still being evoked today in series such as Crackdown, Just Cause and Far Cry. Likewise, the option to accept missions from rival warring factions, and being able to borrow almost any vehicle. Oddly, at the time it was dismissed as being a Grand Theft Auto rip-off - which it sort of was, I suppose - but the combat and vehicle handling is far superior.
Indeed, so little has the formula evolved since that it's weird to think that Mercenaries is 14 years old.
Also, it's worth noting that two of the three playable characters were a woman and a black man. That's the sort of thing that certain sections of the gaming community would be up in arms about today. Oh, how far we've devolved...
Indeed, so little has the formula evolved since that it's weird to think that Mercenaries is 14 years old.
Also, it's worth noting that two of the three playable characters were a woman and a black man. That's the sort of thing that certain sections of the gaming community would be up in arms about today. Oh, how far we've devolved...
BURNOUT 3: TAKEDOWN
It says much about me that I get frustrated by most racing games. When driving around gorgeous-looking tracks, I just want to get out and explore the scenery. One of the few exceptions to this has been the Burnout series - now, sadly, driven into a brick wall, it seems.
The solid driving, coupled to the sheer speed, and the heavy focus on smashing into rival vehicles, was a pure adrenaline blast. For me, the high point of the Burnout series, and the safest way to scratch my road rage itch.
Another way in which I do this is to drive up alongside other drivers on the motorway and "belm" at them. They hate that, and sometimes they follow me into a motorway services carpark and try to crash into me.
Well, one time..
The solid driving, coupled to the sheer speed, and the heavy focus on smashing into rival vehicles, was a pure adrenaline blast. For me, the high point of the Burnout series, and the safest way to scratch my road rage itch.
Another way in which I do this is to drive up alongside other drivers on the motorway and "belm" at them. They hate that, and sometimes they follow me into a motorway services carpark and try to crash into me.
Well, one time..
FABLE
Fable's legend may have dimmed in recent years, as poor Peter Molyneux developed something of a reputation for over-promising, but this doesn't diminish the fact that the original was a genuinely great and innovative RPG.
Being able to choose whether your character became bad or nice - and the knock-on effect of that choice - remains genuinely ground-breaking. However, it's the lush, rich world, and shamelessly British sense of humour, which really succeed.
Hey - remember a couple of years ago where loads of people piled into Molyneux and made him cry in interviews and drove him away from the public eye? Yeah, that was really funny!
WASN'T IT...!?
Being able to choose whether your character became bad or nice - and the knock-on effect of that choice - remains genuinely ground-breaking. However, it's the lush, rich world, and shamelessly British sense of humour, which really succeed.
Hey - remember a couple of years ago where loads of people piled into Molyneux and made him cry in interviews and drove him away from the public eye? Yeah, that was really funny!
WASN'T IT...!?
NINJA GAIDEN
A game with a weird history - a reboot of Tecmo's series of the same name, but set in the Dead or Alive universe - it was a third-person hack 'em up, in the vein of God of War and Devil May Cry. What really set it apart was the level of violence, earning it a glut of 18+ ratings, and regional censorship in Germany and East Asia. Decapitations, disembowlings, and defenestrations were all part of the fun.
STAR WARS: KNIGHTS OF THE OLD REPUBLIC
Sigh. I've put this in here just to shut you up, but I didn't like Knights of the Old Republic. I mean, I could write an entire article on why I didn't like it, and it would be the nerdiest article ever.
Forget the big plot twist, what annoyed me is that it was set thousands of years - thousands! - before the original Star Wars Trilogy, but technology seemed exactly as advanced as it was four millenniums later. I mean, you don't get films about The Battle of Hastings where everyone's got their phones out, Googling "King Harold".
Also, I don't want enemies who look a bit like Stormtroopers. I want STORMTROOPERS!!!
Plus, even when you take the Star Wars out of the equation, I still really find the Bioware formula incredibly dull.
So it's here - yay! Knights of the Old Republic is in a list of Best Xbox Games. HAPPY NOW?!
And FYI: the reason I've not included that Chronicles of Riddick game - which everyone also seemed to love - is because I hated it.
Forget the big plot twist, what annoyed me is that it was set thousands of years - thousands! - before the original Star Wars Trilogy, but technology seemed exactly as advanced as it was four millenniums later. I mean, you don't get films about The Battle of Hastings where everyone's got their phones out, Googling "King Harold".
Also, I don't want enemies who look a bit like Stormtroopers. I want STORMTROOPERS!!!
Plus, even when you take the Star Wars out of the equation, I still really find the Bioware formula incredibly dull.
So it's here - yay! Knights of the Old Republic is in a list of Best Xbox Games. HAPPY NOW?!
And FYI: the reason I've not included that Chronicles of Riddick game - which everyone also seemed to love - is because I hated it.
SPLINTER CELL CHAOS THEORY
Arguably one of the best games of all time, Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory is as empowering as a stealth game gets, managing to out-play Metal Gear at its own game. It felt more grown-up than Konami's franchise, less silly, with a plot that felt frighteningly plausible. The sheer number of ways you could approach a mission is where the game really rewarded the player. It was a gadget-lovers dream.
You know what annoys me? When people call gadgets "tech". Even more annoying when they call it "gadge", which evokes nothing less than a slang term for a lady's parts.
Goodbye now!
You know what annoys me? When people call gadgets "tech". Even more annoying when they call it "gadge", which evokes nothing less than a slang term for a lady's parts.
Goodbye now!
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