Of course, the Pokemon Go fad burned brightly and then faded away - as we all knew it would - becoming just another short-lived youth craze. Frankly, modern kids don't know how good they have it with their high-tech toys and smart phones and Snapchat stories and fidget spinner-related injuries.
Here are just ten of the faddy toys we played with in the past..
Now, of course, modern children don't care for virtual creatures; they instead prefer to feed their sense of entitlement and victimhood.
Sadly, all this did was promote rampant consumerism - thus paving the way for the shallow and vacuous must-have capitalist Hell in which we now live.
It was basically an early version of Black Friday, but with pretend monsters. You know: rather than the actual monsters who camp outside Primark overnight just to fight a middle-aged mother to death for a pair of discounted leggings.
Naturally, modern children hear voices in their head all the time, and then go on Twitter to tell everyone that their medication isn't working. That isn't making fun of mental health. It's just what happens.
Today's youths are so damaged by the relentlessness of modern media consumption that they no longer have attention spans to listen to anything more than a minute long. In that respect Hit Clips was rather ahead of its time.
Present this electronic creature to a contemporary boy or girl and they'll probably end up doing a make-up tutorial on it, or film themselves throwing it at the face of a pensioner... "for views". You know: as a "social experiment".
Nowadays, having the word "boy" in the name of a product would result in the company being shamed on social media until they withdrew the product and issued a terrible apology which wouldn't go far enough for most of the complainants who wouldn't give up their campaign until the company's executives had publicly resigned and/or hung themselves.
Back in the 90s, there was also a pink version of Talkboy called Talkgirl, because girls only used to like pink things. That's how equality worked in the past.
These days, kids don't just record their voices, but their faces too, because they really need the validation which comes with plastering themselves all over YouTube. Unfortunately, so insecure are they about their appearance - due to a culture that promotes unobtainable body ideals - that it's only the bad comments that stick. Try adding a drum beat to that.
Kids aren't interested in pets anymore - be they real or artificial. Instead, they only thing they choose to care for is the careful management of their "brand".
Collecting has changed in the modern era; now it's all about collecting likes, retweets or shares.
If it was released now, it'd probably come with a tape full of tedious, po-faced, lectures about how eating animal products is wrong.